(If you're outside the UK, here's a link to be able to watch UK TV programmes: bit.ly/oVMz60)

Just a little one (make your own joke up!), this week.

Take Me Out

This isn't normally my sort of show, but I can't help but watch it. Why? Because – unlike Blind Date – by the time the lad picks his lass, she's not only seen him but knows a fair bit about him, and HE'S seen her and has chosen the one he likes best.

Last week's couples both seemed to get on like a house on fire on their dates, and one guy even talked about a wedding. How different is that to the nightmare stories we got on Blind Date (especially in later years, where the only people who went on it were wannabees who just wanted to be on TV and couldn't have cared less about the date)?

Paddy McGuinness is a good host: straight-talking and funny. There's some good one-liners in there and it's all jolly good stuff. I'll be watching next week too, to see if we've had more luurrve blossoming!

(Take Me Out Saturdays ITV1 + repeats, 7.30 ish)

CLICK HERE TO GO TO THE 'TAKE ME OUT' WEBSITE

Milton Jones's House of Rooms

Milton Jones's first TV show had been billed as a Series, but it's not on again this week so I checked and it appears that it was just a Pilot.

I've loved Milton Jones for years. I've got all his Radio shows on iTunes (I used to have them on mini-discs years ago!), and have seen him live several times. He's not your usual comedian, and he's not for everyone (is anyone?), but I love my one-liners and he's brilliant at them, and tells the sort of jokes my dad used to tell us when we were children (stupid ones), so how could I NOT like him?

Unlike Radio (where you have to fill the whole 30 minutes with words), this show's weak spot was that it had 'gaps' in it, and all felt a bit surreal (more than a bit, actually), and slightly spooky in places. Milton's great 'gags' (he'd popped a few old favourites in!), didn't feel part of the script as there weren't enough of them, and although I enjoyed it, I felt that someone who'd tuned-in never having heard of Milton Jones before might have found it a little 'strange', and maybe been put off.

We're all different, of course, and there will be people who HAD never heard of him who liked it, but I just feel that it didn't quite showcase his wonderful talent enough in that half hour, and that as it does only appear to be one Episode, it might not quite have been enough for some people to have bought into.

I – however – can't wait to see more, and if you've got the taste for him after this show, Radio 4Extra are starting re-runs of Another Case of Milton Jones from tomorrow (Monday 16th). The gags come thick and fast!

PS And just when I'd got my hearing back after the last Series, suddenly MasterChef is here again! Earplugs in. Let's hope India Fisher's not back … (Review next week.)

Radio Times

A bit late to remind you, but there's a cracking hour of comedy on Radio 2 on Saturday nights at the moment. If you haven't heard Claudia Winkleman's Celebrity Quiz Show Hot Gossip or Matt Lucas's spoof Awards Show And the Winner Is, then you need to check them out right now!

(Hot Gossip/And the Winner Is Radio 2 Saturdays 10.00-11.00 pm)

Other great Radio 4/4Extra comedy this week includes: Clare in the Community; Everyone quite likes Justin (Justin Moorhouse); What to Do If You're Not Like Everybody Else (Andrew Lawrence); Cabin Pressure; Stockport: So Good They Named it Once and Party.

 

If you're outside the UK, here's a link to be able to watch UK TV programmes:  bit.ly/oVMz60

The X Factor

So, Little Mix won the X Factor. I haven't read about it this week (I've been too busy), so don't know how the Press are reacting/portraying them, but I just hope that the girls go on to be really successful and that Jesy doesn't lose a load of weight and become yet-another 'stick-insect'.

One of the things that seem to have endeared them to the public has been their sincerity and genuine thrill at getting through each week, and it would be so nice to have a Girl Band that set a good example for young women in the UK. Time will tell, but I was glad they won, and I thought that Tulisa seemed like a good mentor.

I still think that John Adams would have walked it if he hadn't been airbrushed out though …

CLICK HERE TO GO TO THE X FACTOR WEBSITE

MasterChef – The Professionals

The first couple of Episodes of this Series were achingly dull, but it certainly picked up once Claire arrived. That girl was amazing, and all three of the finalists were very impressive.

You know when Dolby Stereo came out – or when CDs replaced vinyl? There was (and still is), such debate about the quality of the sound, but no matter how expensive your stereo system; there comes a point where your ear simply can't hear any more.

I would contest that the same is true of food. In the last few Episodes, Michel and Greg increasingly stuggled to find ever-greater superlatives to describe the candidates' dishes. Could they REALLY taste every nuance and flavour on those plates? Some of those dishes contained so many ingredients that I struggle to believe it would be possible to appreciate anything over a certain level of 'deliciousness'.

Just HOW good can one plate of food taste? Aren't we just getting a bit too far away from 'real' food (with all this sous-vide and molecular gastronomy etc), and simply being hoodwinked with a big case of The Emperor's New Clothes? It feels like Nouvelle Cuisine all over again to me.

Twenty-five years ago I was a serious 'Restaurant Junkie' and regularly ate out in some of the top places of the time. I subscribed to Caterer magazine, and was totally 'up' on all-things chef-y. I haven't got money to eat out in good Restaurants any more (so am speaking from perception and not experience), but I struggle to believe that food could taste THAT good.

It's like wine: once you're at a certain price/quality level, it's all 'good', but just HOW good can it be? Does a bottle costing £1000 really taste that much better than one priced at £500, and would most people honestly be able to tell the difference?

I'm also a bit perturbed that a 'foreigner' has won for the second year running. Ash Mair is an Aussie, yet he's won our UK MasterChef. Has a UK chef won MasterChef Australia? No. I just feel that it should be for UK Chefs only, as a 'foreigner' winning – to me – devalues British Chefs (ie we're not good enough to win our own competition).

Do you agree? Let me know your thoughts. I'd be interested to hear whether you feel the same, or whether it's just me being an old fuddy-duddy!

I still loved it though, and it's been such a relief to be rid of India Fisher's narration. Sean Pertwee sounds vaguely bored by the whole thing, but at least he doesn't read every line in exactly the same way like she did (dropping her voice down at the end of every sentence).

All we need to do now is to get them to turn down/cut down the OTT dramatic music and that 'Jaws-type' drone that accompanies every plate of food put down in front of the judges and we'll have got a pretty-good show!  CLICK HERE TO GO TO THE MASTERCHEF WEBSITE

Young Apprentice

It was the final of Young Apprentice too. I was still in mourning from the shock of losing Harry H (and Harry M), so it had lost most of its spark for me. I'd expected slimy James to win it, so it was a nice surprise to see Zara (who'd not been THAT influential throughout the process), suddenly come into her own and grab the prize.

Zara reminds me of myself. Quiet on occasions, but when put 'In Charge' of something and allowed to be the centre of attention, displays confidence and is – frankly – in her element!

I'd tweeted that she'd be able to treat herself to a new dress with her winnings, but one of my tweetie friends told me that Zara is her friend's Grand-daughter, and that they only had a few clothes with them while they were at the house apparently.

It was all jolly good stuff, and I don't know what I'm going to do with myself until either The Apprentice, Apprentice USA, MasterChef, or one of Michel Roux's 'Young Waiter' shows come on again. Roll on 2012!

CLICK HERE TO GO TO THE BBC YOUNG APPRENTICE WEBSITE

Radio Times

I've listened to The Archers for more years than I care to remember, but I've really struggled this year. There's some very poor child Actors, Wiww-yum Grundy's whiny voice does my head in, and the hours of time devoted to the death of Ivy Horrobin (a character that was never actually in it in all the years I've been listening – as far as I can recall), is just wearing me down.

We need a good old affair to liven things up …

Jeremy Vine's Radio 2 Series Sounds of the 20th Century is on 1987 this week. It's the best thing ever on the radio. (See TV Times 30th Oct for a full review).

(Sounds of the 20th Century Radio 2 10.00 pm every Thursday, and available on BBC iPlayer)

CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFORMATION 

Don't forget. If you like a laugh, listen to Going Out with Alan Carr on Radio 2. A perfect accompaniment to your Saturday evening dinner/going out preparations. He and Mad Mel Sykes are guaranteed to have you in stitches.

(Going Out with Alan Carr Radio 2 6.00-8.00 Saturdays)

I won't be watching much TV over Christmas – apart from Soaps and the Morecambe and Wise Christmas shows (they'll be dotted-about all over the place!), but there's one thing I'll be glued to, and that's Absolutely Fabulous on Christmas Night.

It's one of my all-time favourite shows. Let's hope it hasn't lost its edge …

If you're outside the UK, here's a link to be able to watch UK TV programmes:  bit.ly/oVMz60

The X Factor

So, it was bye-bye Crate – sorry – Craig, this week then? Not before time. I'm sure he's a lovely lad, but even if you shut your eyes and listen to him sing, there just isn't anything special-enough about his voice to have got him to the final – despite Gary Barlow jumping up and down.

I really respected Gary at the beginning of this Series, but he's coming across as increasingly spiteful and childish. It's a bit embarrassing really, and I'm not sure I'd want to see him back. I did laugh when he said to Craig, "Anything you need; just give me a call." I'll bet that call goes straight to Voicemail …

I'm now hoping that Little Mix will win. I saw them on This Morning and thought how sweet and grounded they seemed. I guess that'll change, but they seem to be quite good singers (when you can hear them above the over-loud backing tracks and the audience screaming), and I think it would make a pleasant change for a Group to win it. (The X Factor ITV1 Saturday/Sunday 8.15 pm)

CLICK HERE TO GO TO THE X FACTOR WEBSITE

MasterChef – The Professionals

I barely saw it this week, but just caught the last ten minutes of the Episode where Claire was dishing-up her meal to the Food Critics. Wow. I think from the comments she got that we can already say who this year's Winner is, and from what I'd seen in the last couple of weeks, nobody else has even come close to her.

What an exciting new talent. I still haven't got over Phil Vickery winning 'Celebrity' MasterChef a few weeks ago. His cooking was unbelievable, and you wouldn't have known he wasn't a professional too. In fact, he's better than most of the chefs I've seen so far in this 'Professional' Series.

Sean Pertwee sounds as if he's almost nodding off with indifference as he does the narration (I have visions of him reading the paper, or watching YouTube or something as he's doing it!), but it's STILL better than what we had before. Come on guys; can you sort the music out next please?

(MasterChef: The Professionals BBC 2 Monday-Friday various times)

CLICK HERE TO GO TO MASTERCHEF WEBSITE

Young Apprentice

Week 5: Deodorant; nice.

'Raw' sounded like meat, and the tube looked like (sorry!), a willy in the advert – all pink. At least they clearly showed the product in the ad though, unlike 'Vanity', which looked like something that had fallen out of a down-market Christmas Box Set.

'Your scent can change, but you don't have to,' their voice-over said. In other words, 'Even if you spray our stuff under your armpits, you'll still be the same geeky person.' Not quite the right message, perhaps? When the dancing girl sprayed it across the room I had a flashback of the 'Shark-repellent Bat Spray' from the original Batman film of 1966.

In their pitch, Lizzie patronised the Executives by saying that they didn't understand what it was like to be a teenager. Er, we've all been there love.

Harry H delivered a cracking pitch – as ever – and there was never any question as to who was going to win this task. Gbemi was fired because she was responsible for the design. She's a designer. That doesn't bode well for the future, does it? (Young Apprentice Ep 3 BBC1 9.00 pm Mon)

CLICK HERE TO GO TO THE BBC YOUNG APPRENTICE WEBSITE

Radio Times

Jeremy Vine's Radio 2 Series Sounds of the 20th Century is on 1984 this week. It's the best thing ever on the radio. (See TV Times 30th October for a full review).

(Sounds of the 20th Century Radio 2 10.00 pm every Thursday, and available on BBC iPlayer)

CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFORMATION 

Don't forget. If you like a laugh, listen to Going Out with Alan Carr on Radio 2. A perfect accompaniment to your Saturday evening dinner/going out preparations. He and Mad Mel Sykes are guaranteed to have you in stitches.

(Going Out with Alan Carr Radio 2 6.00-8.00 Saturdays)

And if you like Alan Carr, between 4.00-6.00 pm every Friday there's a jewel of a show tucked-away on wee little Swindon 105.5 FM. It's called The Big Weekender, and features Nick Anderson and Barry Harris – a sublime double act whose irreverant banter and sketches deserve a much larger audience.

Guests have no idea what they're about to face in their interviews, and you truly wonder what on earth is coming next! Like all great double acts though, they know each other inside out, and that 'Sixth Sense' they both have for where the other is 'going' with something is what makes it so addictive.

Even something as mundane as the Swindon Evening Advertiser crossword or the weather forecast becomes comedy gold in their hands, and sketches like the 'Balls Brothers, Mankini suppliers & launderers' and the 'Alabama Boys' are a joy to listen to. Trust me, you'll be hooked!

(The Big Weekender Swindon 105.5 FM – online if not in Swindon – 4.00-6.00 Fridays)

If you're outside the UK, here's a link to be able to watch UK TV programmes:  bit.ly/oVMz60

The X Factor

Despite myself, I watched on Saturday night (while re-watching Young Apprentice on my Mac, following it on Twitter and eating my dinner!), as I couldn't not watch to see how bad Frankie was, and – boy – he didn't disappoint. Yet-another one-line song he just talked his way through.

Gary's clearly deliberately picking songs without tunes in the increasingly desperate hope that nobody will notice that ne has NO TALENT, but everyone in the UK – apart from teenage girls (who aren't after him for his voice), and Gary have seen right through him.

Surely he can't survive another week? Misha B's performance was the best thing I've seen on this year's X Factor (except for John Adams …), but why is everyone going mad for Craig? He's got an ok voice, but – sorry mate – just doesn't look the part (despite being put on a diet). Not like John Adams. Who wouldn't choose John over that scruffy, overgrown guinea pig Frankie?

Notice how much was made of Sami's weight (and the poor girl from Weetabix)? Why isn't Craig coming under the same criticism, I wonder? Funny, that …

Monday: I didn't watch last night as I was still doing this blog, but I gather Frankie got through again. It really does beggar belief. (The X Factor ITV1 Saturday/Sunday 8.15 pm)

CLICK HERE TO GO TO THE X FACTOR WEBSITE

Four in a Bed

Big moment here: do I stop watching this?

I'd said last week that some people are game-players etc, but this week turned into a near witch-hunt on one poor woman (Nancy, from the Old Court Guesthouse near Bath), just because she said the TV didn't work and that she had no hot water.

There was a guy called Paul (so full of himself that he actually laughed at everything he, himself said!), and both he and one of the others (a woman who allowed smoking in her rooms and whose dogs had the run of the place), were so patronising to this lady that I'm surprised she didn't burst into tears.

Luckily, Nancy was American and made of sterner stuff, but maybe Paul should have considered this:

Many TVs turn on these days (particularly in Hotels), just by pressing the remote control. This one didn't. How was Nancy to know it had a switch on the side? It's not always easy to find an On/Off switch and I, too, would probably have just assumed that it wasn't working, as I've stayed in many Hotels over the years where the TV wasn't actually working but nobody had bothered to check.

And if she didn't have hot water, she didn't have hot water, mate. There's no way she could get that one wrong. Him going up there at least a couple of hours later (after she'd had breakfast, left and he'd read her feedback form), then gloating that there WAS hot water was shameful. Dur, maybe it had just re-heated by then perhaps, Paul? Did you consider that?

I've stayed in Hotels where there's been no hot water, but an hour later there was. Shame on him. It's really upset me, and I don't think I'll watch next week. It'll certainly free up some time to watch something else … (Four in a Bed Channel 4 Mon-Fri 5.00-5.30 pm)

CLICK HERE TO GO TO WEBSITE/WATCH EPISODES

Young Apprentice

No offence girls, but how did you win – again? Nobody knew what your product was until the third pitch but you somehow managed to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat again.

It was worrying for a girl to ask whether you had to change a baby every time it dirtied its nappy or whether you could "Leave it for a bit?" Here's Karren and Nick's reaction!

The one who designed guitar straps (bet that's a crowded marketplace), got outvoted, and Gbemi was PM. She's very scary. I'm still gobsmacked that they chose a white baby for a black mother 'because it was the best behaved'. Yeah, that makes perfect sense …

Not sure what the boys thought babies were like. Harry M kept going on about the 'nightmare' and the 'ominous task' of feeding. It's the opposite. Those few minutes spent filling their little tummies with milk are usually a blessed respite! They gave Harry M a real hard time, but he was making some valid points.

James was obnoxious. "I've also got ideas Lewis," he said snootily. As for Lewis: he looks more like he should be treading the boards than in a boardroom, and puts me in mind of that super young fellow Nausius from Frankie Howerd's Up Pompeii. (Ah, you youngsters won't remember that!)

It took Harry H to come in and rescue them from Lewis's pitching (even worse than Gbemi's!), but one of them got the boot (what was his name again?). There'll be all to play for this week now. Great stuff!

PS Who writes the narration? There were so many cringworthy one-liners about ice-cream last week, and this week we had the likes of, "Cradling their cushion idea; the girls head off." Not funny.

PPS Lord Sugar said he used to go to bed cradling a piggy bank. There's no answer to that one! (Young Apprentice Episode 2 BBC1 9.00 pm Monday)

CLICK HERE TO GO TO THE BBC YOUNG APPRENTICE WEBSITE

What Else?

This week's Episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm is (according to Saturday's Daily Mail TV Guide), another cracker. This whole Series has been fantastic, and if you've never seen Curb, check it out, or – better still – put it on your Christmas list!

(Curb Your Enthusiasm More4 Sunday 11.05 pm)

The Food Hospital started this week. I thought it was going to be a serious, in-depth programme, but it just turned out to be Dr Pixie in pretty-much an extra Episode of Embarrassing Doctors.

(The only good bit was this CUTE, CUTE little boy. He had migraines, but a change in his diet really helped him. Bless.)

So that's another one I won't have to watch this week now – which is lucky, as I've got a busy week coming up, and as I've also spotted that a new Series of MasterChef: The Professionals starts on Monday.

I'd only just got over India Fisher's horrific narration from Celebrity MasterChef a couple of weeks ago, and how she'll be at it again. Oh God. Still, it won't stop me watching. I'll just have to mute the sound (as usual), and it'll be a chance to see the lovely Michel Roux Jr again. Aah, bless.

Did you see the MasterChef sketch on The Impressions Show this week? John and Greg's words were almost drowned out by the completely OTT dramatic music in the background! Glad it's not just me who notices (and complains about), these things!

(MasterChef: The Professionals BBC2 Mon-Thurs 8.30 Mon, 9.00 Tue-Thurs)

Radio Times

Jeremy Vine's Radio 2 Series Sounds of the 20th Century is on 1982 this week. Do not miss it. The best thing ever on the radio. (See last week's big review for further information.)

(Sounds of the 20th Century Radio 2 10.00 pm every Thursday, and available on BBC iPlayer)

CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFORMATION 

Ooh, nearly forgot. Saturday 12th sees the return of Going out with Alan Carr on Radio 2 6.00-8.00 pm. I've missed him, and can't wait for two hours of laughing till I cry as he and Mel Sykes rabbit on like demented budgies!

PS Did you see Debra Stephenson's impression of Hilary Devey on The Impressions Show with Culshaw and Stephenson this week? Strangely, I nearly always manage to miss this, but she is such a wonderful impressionist, that I vow never to miss it again!

This show is SO good it's getting its own post this week.

I listened to 1976 while I was at work ironing on Wednesday and was literally overwhelmed at hearing Elton John & Kiki Dee's Don't go breaking my heart and Joan Armatrading's Love and Affection. Tears of happiness/regret and nostalgia rolled down my cheeks as the memories and emotions of the Seventeen-year-old me struck like a tidal wave.

Hearing Jeremy Vine say, "For the next hour … it's 19xx" (with the gong and the slow beat of the bass drum in the background), will have the hairs on the back of your neck standing on end, and then you're straight in to a fast-moving hour of music, news, current affairs and showbiz clips with NO narration, just a glorious snapshot of a year of your life.

Jeremy Thorpe resigned over an alleged homosexual affair; Jimmy Carter ran for the US Presidency; Sylvester Stallone starred in Rocky; the Bee Gees' You Should be Dancing and Abba's Dancing Queen were chart-toppers (ooh, didn't boys wear their trousers tight in those days?)! 'Nostalgia's not what it used to be', they joke. Well it is here.

I defy anyone not to be moved to tears by this programme. I guess it's best starting to listen (for optimum initial effect), from the year when you were Seventeen, as that was probably the year when you first really became aware of the world around you.

 The year when you felt as if you knew it all; anything was possible; when you were most excited by this wonderful thing called 'life' and a year when you could never conceive that you would ever turn into the cynical old misery you are today!

The work that must have gone into compiling these programmes (every year from 1951-2000), is mind-boggling, and – to me – it's the best thing that has ever been on the Radio as it cannot fail to be of interest to any person alive today. Every one of us hits 'That Year' when it suddenly becomes relevant to us.

It's on the BBC iPlayer but – unbelievably – is not available as a podcast, so you only have seven days to listen to each show. I presume they'll either make them available to download at some point (or even sell them), but if you do nothing else this week, just promise me you'll listen (or at least from the first year that's 'relevant' to you).

This week (w/c 31st October), it's 1981.

(Sounds of the 20th Century Radio 2 10.00 pm every Thursday, and available on BBC iPlayer)

CLICK HERE TO GO TO THE SOUNDS OF THE 20TH CENTURY WEBSITE/LISTEN AGAIN

If you're outside the UK, here's a link to be able to watch UK TV programmes:  bit.ly/oVMz60

The X Factor

Saturday: It was pretty hard to hear most of the singers (apart from Sami), as the background music was SO loud it almost drowned them out which (in most cases), was a blessing – as there was some very poor singing, and the consensus from my Twitterfeed seemed to be that the judges weren't hearing the same as us.

Louis made a right fool of himself – getting up and waving his arms around a lot – and the whole thing was a bit bemusing. The best bits were Sami (bad song choice though) and Misha – who generally looks like a Christmas Tree but looked like a giant Quality Street this week!

Charlie from The Risk is a great singer, but as for the rest of the boys, what is there to say? Frankie's hair looked beyond ridiculous but – more importantly – he proved that he couldn't sing a note.

He was out of tune the whole way through, and if he survives the vote it'll be a joke. And talking about hair: Craig's hairstyle is … well, WHAT is it?

Sunday: Frankie survived. I have nothing more to say.

(The X Factor ITV1 Saturday/Sunday around 8.00 pm)

CLICK HERE TO GO TO THE X FACTOR WEBSITE

Come Dine With Me

When I saw it was a Celebrity special this week I almost didn't watch, but after the first two minutes was so glad I did, as I laughed and laughed at the feast of one-liners.

Apart from Andrew Stone ('Starman' from Louis Spence's Pineapple Dance Studios), they were all just there for a good time, and a budding TV/Food critic was revealed as Pete Best's laconic comments had me in stitches.

It's hard to describe Pete's 'look' (except that it changed in almost every scene), but his dead-pan humour is right up my street, and he even upstaged Dave Lamb! This was his expression as he made a comment about Bobby's Main Course, "It was just chicken with rice and blackbean sauce."

Dave's response: "I'm not sure if that's your happy face or not, Pete."

Another great line was, "I'm not competitive. I don't understand why people even play football. They should give them a ball each and we can all go home."

The piece de resistance was Pete's night. He slid into the kitchen in this outfit and announced, "I'm in the nude. Garden of Eden; Adam and Eve."

Dave quipped: "I'm not sure Adam OR Eve looked anything like you."

Cleo Rocos looked fabulous, and has barely aged since I used to watch her on the Kenny Everett show. I thought she was the most gorgeous and glamorous woman I'd ever seen, and she's still right up there!

She seems to have met everyone though, and Pete remarked on Thursday, "I'm terrified to ask her anything cos it'll have a story. The knife'll be from Ancient Egypt and belonged to Tutankhamun or something – and she used to date him."

I was amazed at Cleo's story of how she and Kenny Everett took Princess Diana (in disguise) to the Vauxhall Tavern. I've been there, and can't believe that the sight of Cleo Rocos alone walking-in wouldn't have caused a near-riot, and with the description of the get-up Diana was wearing, also can't believe she wouldn't have been 'hit on' by at least a dozen women before she'd got halfway through the door (if the pigeons hadn't hit on her first)!

Chantelle Houghton was CDWM's compulsory 'dumb blond'. She seems like such a nice woman, and one who totally accepts that she's not the sharpest knife in the draw. She was trying to beat up some cream for her Eton Mess but had a bit of a problem:

"How do you whip something? Use one of those spiky things? You know, a Whipper. I haven't got a Whipper. Oh, a Whisker!"

She rang a friend – who brought ice-cream instead of cream and tried to assure her it would be ok.

Friend: "Eton mess is like Baked Alaska."

Chantelle: "Isn't that a fish?"

The 'King of Bling' Bobby George was your typical 'geezer' who told it how it was. His separate Chinese Kitchen was impressive (brilliant not to have to have all those frying smells in the house), and I really wouldn't have expected to see a man like him stir-frying with such confidence.

Despite being taken-aback on meeting Pete, Bobby was more bothered by Andrew in the end, and they all just viewed him as being more famous in his mind than he'll ever be in real life (they even played the Bee Gees' song Tragedy as he walked round the corner one night). Andrew was trying desperately to compete (and not just in the cooking; he came last, by the way), but totally failed to impress any of them.

Bobby said of him, "Andrew told me: 'It'll take a long while for me to like you.' I said 'It didn't take me long to dislike you,'" and even Dave's commentary was cutting. They were going round the room talking about what Awards they'd won. Andrew's eyes were downcast as the others reeled off their list, and then Dave said "Next," but as Andrew raised his head to speak he said "Not you."

I'm sure it was just carefully edited that way, but I did feel quite sorry for Andrew, because the other four got on really well and he was the outsider, and not part of their 'gang'. I could see the hurt/envy in his eyes on more than one occasion and knew exactly how he felt (as it's the same way I feel when I'm with a group of people: like they don't really want me there but are too polite to actually say so!).

Pete's night began to the Addams Family theme tune, and the whole thing was a scream. There was also a surprise ending, as (despite his husband doing 99% of the cooking), Pete shared the honours (for his hosting mostly!), with Cleo. It was all thoroughly enjoyable.

CLICK HERE TO WATCH ON C4OD CATCHUP

(Come Dine With Me Channel 4 Mon-Fri 5.30-6.00 & an hour's Episode Fridays 8.00-9.00 pm)

CLICK HERE TO GO TO 'CDWM' WEBSITE

Celebrity MasterChef

Hold the front page. There was an actual failure this week. Greg summed-up Nick's bakewell tart: "Looks like a margherita pizza."

There was a new feature: cook a meal that evokes a memory for you. It was a really entertaining Episode – apart from the tear-jerking music and the Jaws-like drone that plays under every scene where they present their food (why? It's just not needed), and it's been quite an enjoyable week (as there's been much less Restaurant stuff).

On the downside, there's been a lot of Greg stuffing his face with far too big a spoonful again, and the unbearable India Fisher narration. If it's so boring for you love (sounds as if it is from the way you read your lines), let someone else do it and cheer us all up.

My prediction of Phil to win looks even more certain now, as he hasn't put a fork wrong all week. His food's been exceptional, and even those pompous food critics on Friday couldn't fault it – and that's saying something! It's hard to believe he's actually able to cook at that level but, boy, he can. If he doesn't win, it's a fix!

(Celebrity MasterChef BBC 1 Mon-Fri 2.15-3.00, Friday 8.30-9.00)

CLICK HERE FOR MORE INTO/TO WATCH THIS WEEK'S EPISODES

What Else?

Are you watching Curb Your Enthusiam yet? If not, I keep telling you: you're missing a treat …

 CLICK HERE TO GO TO THE SITE/WATCH EPS

(Curb Your Enthusiasm Series 8, Ep 4 More4 11.20 pm Sunday)

Despite myself, I'm still watching Mary Queen of Frocks, as she's not getting things her own way and 'real' women haven't been backwards in coming forwards telling her what they think of some of her designs. She's pushing a few noses out of joint down at House of Frazer and this week she's about to open. What will happen …

(Mary Queen of Frocks Ep 3 C4 9.00 pm Wednesday)

If you like this blog, I'm sure you'll already be the sort who watches Harry Hill's TV Burp, which – like me – loves to take a sideways look at the pick of the week's 'quirky' and funny side of TV/Soapland. Harry's the visual version of my Soapy Corners! (TV Burp ITV1 Saturday 7.15 pm + many repeats on ITV throughout the week)

Radio Times

Jeremy Vine's Radio 2 Series Sounds of the 20th Century (which is a glorious hour of nothing but soundbites, charting the significant music and events of every year from 1951 to 2000), is at 1979 this week. Each week it's become relevant to more and more people, and I guarantee it'll bring those memories flooding back in a flash. It's a truly wonderful hour of history/nostalgia, and is not to be missed.

(Sounds of the 20th Century Radio 2 10.00 pm every Thursday, and available on BBC iPlayer)

CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFORMATION 

Other Radio things catching my eye this week are:

Radio 4Extra are repeating Clare in the Community right from the beginning. I didn't spot it in time for last week's blog, but Series 1, Episode 1 was broadcast this week and will still be on iPlayer until the next Episode is broadcast (7.00am and 5.30pm next Wednesday 19th). DO have a listen; it's delicious comedy.