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Priya and Alicia are bitching; Rhona & Vanessa are teasing; Debbie's flirting, and Charity and Cain are sizzling.
Debbie's gone over to the dark side (in more ways than one) this week. I don't really like her as a brunette: it makes her look hard, but as she's suddenly turned hard this week I guess that's all part of the package? (It also gives her a look of Corrie's Kylie too, don't you think?)
To be honest, she seems to have had a complete personality transplant, and it's a bit of a stretch to see her suddenly going from having been so protective over Sarah for the last year to being more interested in business than caring for her recovering daughter and precious new baby son.
Taking on a drugs operation's not only foolish but extremely risky, and throwing herself at Dom (whatever her motives) doesn't really show her in a very good light, frankly, does it?
She's sleeping with him already too – leaving Andy to look after the children overnight. Hmm. Not exactly very 'Earth Mother', is it?
'Charley's' Angels
On the plus side though, it means we're getting a storyline involving both Debbie and her mum and dad – which is always a good thing as they're brilliant together. Their relationship is SO convincing, and the three of them are a joy to watch.
Charity and Cain still sizzle with a sexual chemistry which just refuses to go away, and the way they're so protective over Debbie is both funny and touching.
"What's she doing?" Cain growled; glaring at her flirting with Dom.
"Do you want me to draw you a little picture? Do you?" Charity teased.
It must be really hard for Cain to watch his daughter blatantly throwing herself at a man like that (especially as he's another one who's way too old for her), but Charity's the opposite: she's positively encouraging Debbie to 'get back in the saddle'!
Something to smile about
It looked as if The Smile had blown it with Declan (again) after Robbie forced her to transfer the money, but it ended in smiles all round after they agreed to make a fresh start.
I'm pleased about that. I love Megan and don't want her to leave, but I DO want Robbie to put his face straight and stop being such a little stirrer. He can't seem to stop himself from trying to wind people up, can he?
"Got to hand it to her. Even on those sticks she 'gets about'," he needled Deccers on Monday, but it didn't seem to have had the desired effect, as Katie and Declan suddenly shared a laugh together on Friday and he grabbed her hand and said that he knew they could make it if they tried.
Right, well that's the end of that one then, and I suppose they'll now go on to live 'happily ever after' (well, for a while at least)?
'Vet's be friends'?
Rhona and Paddy don't look like a couple who are going to be living happily ever after, as Vanessa's influence on Rhona clearly seems to be affecting their marriage. Vanessa's starting to finding her feet now, and I reckon she's not only a great character, but one with a lot of potential.
It's so funny to watch the pair of them ganging-up on Paddy and treating him as if he's simply a figure of fun (which he IS, I suppose?), but they're actually quite rude (and a bit hurtful), and it's interesting how Rhona's just as guilty as Vanessa in teasing her husband – and never defends him against Vanessa.
"He won't mind, and if he does I'll tell him he doesn't," Rhona laughed as she offered his services in Vanessa's attempt to win the bet over Edna.
That's not the way you should really think and talk about your new husband, is it? You know I'm always on the lookout for a good lesbian storyline, but I'd love it if Rhona and Vanessa were to have 'a thing'.
They'd make a great couple. They're clearly very close; have great chemistry, and two professional women together would certainly steal an unexpected march on my campaign for Corrie's Carla and Michelle (#carchelle) to get together! #rhovan? #vanrhon? Just a thought …
Settle down now, girls
Speaking of relationships; how good is the David/Alicia/Priya lurrve triangle to watch? Alicia would do anything for David, and it must be taking all her strength not to fly at Priya who – equally – looks as if she's ready for a fight to the death for her man. Their sniping's hilarious – especially the bit where Priya 'complimented' Alicia on her shoes.
"I was thinking about getting some like that … strappy," she mused.
"Yeah? Well you need the right feet otherwise they can look a little bit … trotterish," Alicia shot back. Great stuff!
David's stuck in the middle and is making a right pig's ear of handling the whole thing – as usual.
"I know sometimes I might make paint look clever, but are you hiding something?" he asked Vic on Tuesday, and that just about sums him up. David's a really nice, sweet guy, but just can't help but get himself into a pickle time after time with the ladies. Perhaps he should get Cain to give him a few lessons on how be a selfish get and only think about himself!
I'd felt a bit mean last week for saying that I didn't think Jake was quite up to handling a big storyline, but after this week's episodes I now feel justified in my comments (which were purely objective and not made lightly), as – once again – he delivered many of his lines unconvincingly which (although I still feel mean for mentioning it) unfortunately, really detracted from the drama for me.
We had some Good Drinking From a Takeaway Cup from Debbie, but Moira must have an asbestos mouth as she took her takeaway coffee from Bob and immediately took a massive swig.
I don't know about you, but I've never had a takeaway coffee anywhere where I haven't had to leave it for a good ten minutes – at least – before being able to take the first sip, or run the risk of burning my gizzard!
There's been some lovely, and very witty writing this week (including Nicola's casual, "Hello, smelly," to the horse at the stables and The Smile's, "My way of saying Thanks and Sorry: Thorry!" to Declan), and here's the rest of our Grins of The Week:
Jimmy: "Sorry about him. His head's all over the place at the minute."
Cain: Yeah? Well if he comes near here again, so will yours be."
Paddy: "Edna's never been one to suffer fools gladly."
Vanessa: "Unlike Rhona, then?"
Jimmy: "Never mix business with pleasure."
Charity: "Who in their right mind would ever take advice from you?" Bit harsh, there, girl!
Katie: "Do you ever get bored of yourself?"
Robbie: "No."
Paddy: "You can … mock all you like."
Vanessa: "I will."
Cain (about Dom): "What's he playing at? He was sniffing around Moira at New Year."
Charity: "So what? He didn't know that you were, you know … harvesting her field."
Val (to Alicia): "So. A pretend marriage. How did you think it would end: a pretend divorce?"
PS
* Rhona's pointy disease is still showing no sign of improvement, is it?
* Robbie was sporting a bit of a five-o-clock shadow on Wednesday. It was a good look on him!
* Alicia called Priya a "Prissy little madam". Ooh, maybe I should change her name to Prissy Priya instead of Pointless Priya?
* I'm telling you: she's a Peeping Betty," Adam complained to Victoria. "If it wasn't for that BIG shower cap, she'd have seen everything," he exclaimed. Ooh, you little showoff!
* Remember how I used to call David Hairy David when he had all that fluff round his chops? Well, it's back, so it's Hairy David again for the forseeable, but this time he's also got the strangest haircut too. It looks like he's got a cornish pasty on his head. The sooner he grows that one out, the better – as far as I'm concerned. He's such a good-looking guy but does spoil himself with some extremely unusual hairstyles from time to time!
* Blimey. I'll bet the wind was whistling up Alicia's willows when she was filming this scene. It was nearly blowing the plants over, so I hope she had her thermal knickers on underneath that belt!
* Never mind 'Where's Wally?': where's Leo?
* I know Paddy's line about Vanessa "Wanting to get into Edna's knickers" was only a joke, but there's rarely 'smoke without fire' in Soaps, and might that one day turn out to have been a sneaky teensy clue as to what could be coming up with Vanessa and Rhona? If so, then you read it here first. Either that, or it's just my overactive writer's imagination at work again!
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The only thing that was missing from our perfect 40th Anniversary Live Episode Press Day on location last September was a chance to take a look around the studio.
After the cast interviews, Emily Ogden (Emmerdale's bubbly Publicity Manager) rang the bell behind the bar and as we turned to look, Bob Hope suddenly walked in to announce our 'task' for the day.
Climbing up onto the microphone platform (I've spent an hour on Google but can't find the proper name for it, but here's a photos of one) was the toughest part – as it wasn't a very lady-like manoeuvre for an old bird like me (!), but once perched on my seat I had a chance to get to grips with it and practise moving the microphone around to best effect.
We've been sworn to secrecy as to what we wrote/filmed, but after viewing both scenes the judging panel awarded 'Team Dave' the winners, and here's my Award for being part of the winning team.
