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Corrie Corner – 13th January 2013

Written on 14/01/2013 by Jane in Corrie Corner, Soapy Corner, The Complete Blog

(You can hear me talking Soaps 10.45-11.15 am every Thursday, from 4.00-5.00 pm Fridays on Swindon 105.5 FM CLICK HERE TO LISTEN and on my internet Soap Show 6.00-6.30 pm every Wednesday on @Tellyspy CLICK HERE TO LISTEN.

Gail's the cat that thinks it's got the cream; Leanne's married a meerkat, and I could write something very cheeky about Sophie and Jenna now, but haven't got the nerve!

Christmas Catchup

The only Soap episode I watched live over Christmas was Corrie on Christmas night. We were just having some tea and sitting staring at the TV (á la Royle Family!), but as nobody had any other preference at that exact moment I asked if we could have Corrie on.

By the time I'd talked my sister-in-law and my brother's girlfriend through the storylines I'd missed half of it (I watched it again the next morning while peeling veg though!), but they seemed to enjoy it (my brothers had moved onto their iPads by then!) and I definitely did.

For me, Coronation Street was by far the winner this Christmas. The acting was great, it was fast-paced and there was all sorts going on. Well done, Corrie.

But where's Carla?

From what I'd read, it had seemed as if there was going to have been a big thing coming up where Carla would be left broken-hearted by Peter, and #Carchelle fans everywhere were extremely disappointed for that not to have happened.

We've been seriously Carla-deprived since she's come back, and now that it's January it's definitely felt like we've started on a Carla-controlled diet too. She's barely been in it, and we #Carchelle fans are now desperate for Peter to dump her and get back with Leanne.

I think we'd all assumed that that was what was going to happen over Christmas. I like it when the Soaps can still surprise us, and as I've barely been online (or even out of the house since 20th December) I'd missed any spoilers, so was genuinely shocked to see them actually go through with the wedding last Friday.

"I'll never let you down again," Leanne smiled reassuringly. God, I hope she doesn't mean it.

All I'm hoping is that in the next couple of weeks Kylie's one night stand will be revealed and that Leanne will go berserk and run straight into Peter's evangelical 'open arms' for solace (and a lot more), so that we can get the #Carchelle storyline under way (come on, Corrie. This would be the storyline of the century and you know it!*)

In the meantime, we've got Sophie to keep us going, but I'm not the only one who seems to think that this whole Jenna thing's a bit silly.

Jenna's a little gay of sunshine – not

It's not often I criticise Corrie's storylines, but I'm afraid I have to here. Sophie is over eighteen and is already a lesbian, so Kevin's overreaction to having seen them kissing is completely ridiculous, and as for reporting her … well, that's beyond ridiculous.

What Jenna does in her own time is HER business, and this is the 21st Century, Kevin, so she's not exactly doing anything wrong, is she?

I can't actually work out what Sophie sees in her though. You've never met a more miserable individual, and she's so far in the closet that it's a wonder she can even make it out of the door to get to work.

"We've got too close," she warned Sophie (just before the kiss).

Close? You call that close? Blimey, you've had even less of a love life than me if you think that's close, love!

Like I say: this is the 21st Century. It was a different story Thirty years ago, but being gay isn't a barrier to having a job these days. There's laws to protect you from sexual discrimination. If Sophie had been eight and not eighteen it would have been a different matter, but these are two consenting adults here. Still, as long as they get together I'll be pleased – not least to see Sally's face when she finds out!

Calm down, dear

How unprofessional was it of Nick to start shouting in the Bistro (why didn't he just go home?), and he also did that thing I HATE seeing on Soaps, where someone goes and trashes THEIR OWN property in a moment of rage. How much must all that booze (that he swept off the shelf) have cost, and as well as the huge task of getting all that glass up, the fumes must have completely stunk the place out.

Not only have we got Peter wafting around the place looking like he's floating on some (non-alcoholic) cloud, but we've also got Gail beaming beatifically at Lewis (or is she just high on the fumes from the alcohol?). The Cheshire Cat's got nothing on her, but she's not going to be smiling for long, is she?

I don't see why Lewis couldn't have just got back together with Audrey (except that Nigel Havers is leaving, so that would be a bit tricky!), but I'm a little bit uncomfortable with this storyline as it's poor Audrey who's going to be hurt all over again when it comes to a head and she finds out that her own daughter's been having a relationship with the man who broke her heart.

How's it all going to resolve itself? Gail and Audrey have fallen out many times over the years, but (like Kat and Alfie in EastEnders) you get to a point where you start to feel that it's just no longer feasible for them to simply be able to forgive and forget.

Rob the robber

I'd like to forget Rob. I find it a bit of a stretch to believe he'd be able to set up his own rival operation to Underworld 'just like that', without any money; references or proven track record.

This is a man who only learned 'management' from a book whilst in prison and has displayed very little evidence of actually having any man-management skills thus far. He rolled up in a posh car on Friday. Where did he get the money (or credit approval) for that, then?

Still, as long as it just leaves Carla and Michelle together in the office I'm not complaining!

I loved when Rob said he'd gone into the office for his calculator and Carla scoffed, "Calculate THIS"!

The next James Corden?

How good is Craig, aye? We haven't seen a great deal of him in Corrie so far, but from his very first cameo scene (when he came on the date with Beth when Steve was trying to wind Tracy up) I was raving about him and asking for him to be given a regular part, so am thrilled that he's now being given a few scenes here and there.

Mark my words: he's a great comic actor in the making, and should he decide to continue down this road I believe that he'll go on to become a household name in years to come.

I've loved Kylie over Christmas. She's got such great comic timing, and David's putting in some lovely (and funny) performances these days too. We're a bit light on the one-liners this week, but here's the first Grins of the Week for 2013!

Jenna: "I've known you for two minutes and you're asking if I'm gay?"

Lloyd: "I'm not asking – I'm hinting."

Kylie: "I knew a bloke who walked on broken glass for a living."

Gail: "In bare feet?"

David: "Wouldn't be worth much – doing it in Doc Marten's, would it?"

Lloyd: "I'll have something soft."

Kevin: "You're something soft."

Karl: "I'm delegating. It's what bosses do."

Sunita: "And what are YOU the boss, of, aye?"

Kylie (about Nick & Leanne): "What it is they say: 'Love is blind'?"

Gail: "Have to be deaf an' all – mouth on 'er."

PS

* Gail's looking more and more like Benidorm's Madge with every passing week! (I'd had two brilliant lookalikey photos for you but accidentally deleted them – idiot!)

* There's always two blokes around to break up a Soap fight, aren't there? When Nick and Pompous Peter were scrapping, Jason and David miraculously appeared (from nowhere) to pull them apart!

* It was only seventeen days after sleeping with Nick that Kylie actually confirmed she was pregnant (but had already been suspecting it for over a week). Is it usual to know so soon?

* Like Emmerdale's Katie; Sophie's made a miraculous recovery, hasn't she? Must be that Northern air or water – like Lourdes – or something!

* Dear @ITV. If you're not already doing it, just go and check just how many women, yes, women are complaining on Twitter that we're not seeing enough of Carla, and just look at how much support there is for #Carchelle too …

* Apologies again for the absence of Corrie Corners over the last couple of weeks, but my father is in the final stages of terminal cancer and I simply haven't had the opportunity to sit down and write.

CLICK HERE TO GO TO THE CORONATION STREET HOMEPAGE

Got a comment on anything I've talked about this week? Tell me what YOU think in a comment below; tweet me before Wednesday afternoon or call in to 'Jane's Soapy Corner' live on Tellyspy between 6.00-6.30 on Wednesday night so that I can put your points across to my listener on the show online!

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Carla Corner – 13th January 2013

Written on 14/01/2013 by Jane in Carla Corner, Soapy Corner, The Complete Blog

Many women go on a diet after Christmas.

When you go on a diet you tend to crave the things you're missing, and Corrie have put us all on the (very restrictive) Carla-Controlled diet, haven't they?

After having been gone for five whole months we were desperate to get her back and completely ecstatic to finally see those gorgeous pins stepping out of that taxi in December, but what's happened since then? Exactly … Nothing!

We're barely seen our heroine, and are gutted that she's still with Peter (who's loving himself more than anyone else these days!).

All we've had since she got back are a few snatches of her and Michelle in the office, but HOW GOOD is it to actually see them together again without Rob getting in the way all the time? 'Two's company', as they say …

The nearest we came to a #carchelle moment last week was when Carla said that she'd burned her tongue on Friday, and we were all there waiting and hoping that Michelle would offer to kiss it better, weren't we?

Michelle's been giving Carla some pretty adoring 'looks' since she's been back, hasn't she? The 'sign of things to come', perhaps? Oh, how we're WISHING for that to be the case!

The combination of Christmas and my father's rapid deterioration through cancer over the last four weeks have meant that I've barely been able to get onto Twitter, but even on the odd occasion when I have been on it I've noticed just how many #carchelle-related tweets there are out there.

Nearly all the tweets I see about how 'hot' both Carla and Michelle look come from (supposedly straight!) women, and so many of them (either literally or by suggestion) also say how much they actually 'fancy' one (or both) of them.

As I've said many times on here now: this is a completely unique situation. There's never been a Soap character (that I can recall) who's ever provoked such adoration as Carla Connor, and the amount of women who want to see her and Michelle get together as a couple is something that I'm hoping the show's producers are now not only now fully aware of but are hopefully considering acknowledging at some point?

Let's make it our 2013 wish for them to finally share a kiss, shall we, #carchelle fans, and all do everything we can to champion our cause and make sure that everyone gets to know just how desperate we are for the Soap storyline of the Century to finally happen.

When you think of Soaps' most iconic moments (Dirty Den handing Angie her divorce papers on Christmas Day still makes me tingle all over when I think about it – it's even doing it now as I write this line), I feel that this storyline could potentially be even bigger than that (and oh, how I'd love to be the one writing it too!).

Peter dumps Carla. She's devastated and can only rely on her closest friend Michelle for comfort. As they grow closer still, they begin to realise that what they feel for each other is a lot more than just friendship.

Ok, and breeaathe …

That's all there is today (as there's so little else to report this week), but I'll be #carchelle-watching next week, and as long as we actually GET a bit of Carla there'll be a Carla Corner!

PS

Do you think I should change the name to Carchelle Corner? Leave me a comment below (or on Twitter @janereynolds8) so that I can do what YOU all want, as this is YOUR page, and if you love the thought of Carla and Michelle getting together then you might like my novel 'Just Good Friends?'

It's the story of close friends Ruth and Helen, whose drunken kiss leads to a whole lot more and is available as a paperback on Amazon and to download on all eReader formats (and at a new, low price of only £2.99!)

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Queen Vic Corner – 13th January 2013

Written on 13/01/2013 by Jane in Queen Vic Corner, Soapy Corner, The Complete Blog

You can hear me talking Soaps 10.45-11.15 am every Thursday; 4.00-5.00 pm Fridays on Swindon 1055.com CLICK HERE TO LISTEN and on my internet Soap Show 6.00-6.30 pm Wednesdays on Tellyspy. CLICK HERE TO LISTEN

Ayesha cooks a curry but has the hots for Mas; Tanya would like to serve Kirsty stuffed on a platter; Derek had more than a touch of indigestion and Kat's feeling sick about Alfie and Roxy.

Christmas Catchup

There was more Appropriate/Inappropriate Music in the Background than you could shake a set of jingle bells at in ALL the Soaps over the festive period, but none more so than EastEnders (did we expect anything else?).

The amount of work the A/IMitB person must have had to do to find the most poignant word/line from a Christmas track and ensure that it was playing at the exact right moment in the background or gap in the conversation must have taken 364 days to plan!

It's becoming increasingly commonplace in EastEnders for a storyline to suddenly get all tied up like a neatly wrapped present, and that's exactly what's happened with Derek.

Once he'd 'come out' as Kat's mystery lover (yeah, you had us all fooled there guys), it was barely five minutes before he'd been discarded and had the door shut on him like Mary and Joseph at the Inn.

Blink and you'd have missed it (and fair play to him for not milking his death scene), but no sooner had he clutched his chest than they all just turned round and left him to it, and by the next episode you'd have been forgiven for thinking 'Derek who?', as – apart from a few token platitudes and a few tears from Alice (with that new hairstyle she'd be the spit of Tanya if she was a blond), it was 'business as usual' in Albert Square!

More unbelievable than Father Christmas

Business as usual in EastEnders generally means 'unusual' (at the very least), and the Christmas Day reveal of Max's little secret had my jaw dropping in astonishment. A wife? A WIFE?

You're about to marry your (ex) wife (who'd once buried you alive), the doorbell rings, and who should be stood there but another identikit blond Soap female who just happens to be your current wife.

Now, you all know what I'm about to say next, don't you? That's right. It's JUST. NOT. CREDIBLE.

AS IF Max would go off and marry someone else and not have got round to telling Tanya? It's simply beyond belief, and what's more beyond belief is that it was 'true', and that before you could say 'Oh, come on', she'd even gone and got herself a job serving behind the bar at the Vic!

Alfie Moon should be Employment Minister as he'd be able to solve the UK's unemployment crisis at a stroke. Just give 'em all a job at the Vic. Sorted …

Give me strength

That brings me on to Phiwl. The way he's laying the law down over Lexi is so unbelievable it's a joke. He should never have been allowed within five miles of her in the first place, let-alone given custody. The man's an 'ead case, and that poor little baby would be better off anywhere other than with a family that makes the Addams family look normal (Denny even LOOKS like Cousin ITT).

As for THIS week …

I'm sorry to say this, but Kat's used up eight of her nine lives for me. Does anyone else think that her heart just doesn't seem to be in it any more?

She looks disinterested, and the delivery of some of her lines on Monday was extremely questionable; with the emphasis/inflection on all the wrong words in places. If you look way, way back over my QVCs, you'll see just how much I used to love Kat. She was one of my favourite Soap actresses and I couldn't WAIT for her scenes.

I also used to think that she and Alfie were Soaps' best couple. Their chemistry was electric, but that's long gone, and now that Alfie's with Roxy I hope even more than ever that they'll never put them back together again. The magic's gone, and – to me – they've simply 'run their course' as a couple.

Move them both on, please. It'll revitalise both their characters, and just how many times can Alfie take her back, anyway? We all know Alfie's a mug and a soft touch, but no man should take a woman back as many times as he has. It just makes us lose empathy/interest in them and the relationship – as we'd all just be sat there waiting for it to happen again …

Come Dine With Me

Going back to Christmas for a mo: Tanya carried the whole show (for me) with her gripping and totally convincing performance, but even I'm struggling to see her inviting Tanya to have dinner with them. Would that really happen? Would Tanya's character really have agreed to that? I don't think so for a minute.

The only way she'd have Tanya for dinner is if she WAS dinner: roasted and stuffed full of sausagemeat with an apple in her gob!

Another far-fetched occurrence this week was Abi going all cow-eyed over that lad Dexter. She didn't know him from Adam, but was instantly flirting with him right in front of Jai (talk about dissing him), and the next minute had even invited him for dinner.

Again; there's no way her character would have done that, or that Tanya would have agreed to it. Oh, HOW convenient that it just happened to be Ava's lad though, and that she should then turn up too.

Ooh, hang on a minute

That's another one of EastEnders' 'convenient' tricks of fitting the storyline around the event. Never mind whether it's credible or not. It was as if they knew they needed those characters to all be in that place at that time so that they could have a confrontation, but as to how they GOT there was 'merely detail, darling'.

It felt like another one of those moments where I imagine them all sat round excitedly discussing the big dinner showdown scene and then realising that they'd forgotten to write the lead-up to it.

In THIS case, they not only had to get the Dexter character in to the house but also get Kirsty there ('Ooh, I know. Let's get Tanya to invite her for dinner, shall we?'), and then get Ava in too, so that they could have a 'full house' for Kirsty to see it all kicking off!

Their eyes met over a pan of daal

I'd twigged it was Masood that Ayesha had the hots for on Monday when I heard the line, 'I've hungered for your touch' playing behind them as they sat chatting over dinner.

It proves my point exactly about Appropriate/Inappropriate Music in the Background. If you listen to it carefully you can generally pick up clues about all sorts!

I loved Zainab hoovering the paper up (I'm gutted that she's leaving) and they've even started the year with a couple of Grins of the Week:

Bianca: "Did 'ee spoil you?"

Kat: "You know Derek: he spoiled everything." (That's a wonderful and really clever line from the writer, Sally Abbott.)

Denise (to Zee): "Are you actually going to do some work today, or are you just going to stand there slagging off the dead?"

Zee (to Mas, about Ayesha): "See when she acts the most loose."

PS

* Kim. Horizontal stripes really ain't your thing, girlfriend.

* I watched the first episode of Mr Selfridge last Sunday, and it took me half an hour to twig who it was that he reminded me of: AJ!

* How much must Alfie be paying Bianca for her to be able to afford to buy a new outfit just for a party (when she's meant to be skint), and wouldn't it have been better for her to have bought herself a new pair of Yug boots (or food for her kids) perhaps?

* Tanya brought the dish of food to the table without any oven gloves on.

* That jumper of Abi's made her look as if she'd got her bra on the outside! (One of the little boys I used to nanny for called bras 'brasies' – pronounced brarh-zee. I still call them that now. It's a brilliant word!)

* Mas didn't have a lot in his sack – again – this week, did he? I'm referring to his postman's sack, of course. He only had about half a dozen letters in it, all for Albert Square, and then he had a break. I'll bet postman everywhere would love to be doing that round!

* Is that a real tattoo, Kirsty? It's dead classy, that … (!)

If you agree (or disagree!) with anything I've written this week, come and tell me why on 'Jane's Soapy Corners', LIVE on Tellyspy between 6.00-6.30 pm every Wednesday night!

CLICK HERE TO GO TO THE EASTENDERS' HOMEPAGE

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Jane Reynolds's Weekly Blog – 6th January 2013

Written on 06/01/2013 by Jane in The Complete Blog

Happy New Year to you all.

I'd intended to put out a full Soapy Corner blog this week but have barely even found a minute to write this, and can only apologise to anyone who might have been looking forward to an update.

My last full-time job was nine years spent as a Housekeeper/nanny/cook etc, where I was on the go from 7.00 am until late (often seven days a week), and this last four weeks have felt very reminiscent of that.

This last week especially has flown by in a whirl of visitors, ringing phones and being 'on call' to my father for almost the entire time. It's physically and mentally draining, and as he gets weaker and more poorly by the day it's getting harder for us all to be able to pretend to be 'cheerful' when we're with him.

How people care for an elderly/sick relative for years I'll never know. I'm already emotionally strained (and am extremely concerned at how little time I have to do any of my own work), but he's getting a proper hospital bed delivered tomorrow and I've got the back room downstairs all ready for him now, which should (hopefully) ease things a lot.

He'll be able to watch a proper/large TV; look out over the garden, sit up better (as the bed's electric), and there'll be plenty of room for visitors to sit down in comfort too. I'll also be able to sit in there with my mac and work some of the time, then jump up and do all the housework etc when he's asleep!

The trouble now though, is that Christmas is officially over and I'm going to be back having to do my cleaning/ironing and all my radio stuff this week so it's going to take quite a bit of jiggling with my two brothers and their partners to keep everything going, but I'm sure we'll sort it out somehow!

I'll be doing my Soapy Spot on Alastair Greener's Big Mid-morning show from 10.45-11.15 on Thursday and co-presenting my TGI Friday show with Paul Dawkins from 4.00-5.00 pm on Friday; both on Swindon 1055.com, and 'Jane's Soapy Corners' are LIVE as usual from 6.00-6.30 pm every Wednesday night on Tellyspy.

'Jane's Soapy Corners' have also gone digital. Simply download the Podcasts App onto your iPhone or iPad then search for Tellyspy and they're all there.

Apologies for this excuse for a blog, but I've told my family that I simply HAVE to get a proper post out next week and am absolutely determined to deliver a right good dose of Soapy Corners for you, as I haven't spent two years working seven days a week on my blogging just to throw it all away …

Have a good week everyone, and apologies once again (and for my Twitter absence). Sorry.

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Jane Reynolds's Weekly Blog – 30th December 2012

Written on 30/12/2012 by Jane in The Complete Blog

Hello everybody.

I thought I'd start with a couple of my usual Sunrise Over Swindon photos.

The one on the left was taken as I left the house on Thursday 20th December, and I took the one on the right when I got to my office a few minutes later.

I've finally managed to find a moment to sit down to write but am having to keep breaking off to go upstairs to see to my father.

His cancer has accelerated so much since my last blog. He's virtually bed bound now, and is literally skin and bone.

He's barely eating and I sat up for an hour holding his hand at 2 am this morning while he tried to get to sleep. He just wants to die, but because we're not able to simply give him a pill to send him to sleep and put him out of his misery – like you would with an animal – we're having to stand by helplessly as our father withers away in (thankfully not too much at present) pain. How can this be right?

After finally completing my tax stuff and dropping it off to my accountant last Sunday morning (yay), the rest of the last ten days have been spent either in a supermarket, the kitchen, or doing something or other connected with my father. I'd never have believed how much 'other' work there was connected to looking after an invalid – aside from actually caring for the person.

I've also got one ear open all night listening-out for him in case he calls for me and – to top it all – I've got a bad knee but don't know why. I'd been intending going to the gym early every morning over Christmas but can still barely put any pressure on my right leg – let-alone do any exercise.

That's the LAST thing I need, and I just feel as if all the time and effort I've put in at the gym has been a complete waste of time as it's such a disappointment to find myself 'injured' instead of fit, so here's a funny picture I saw on Twitter (or somewhere) last week to cheer me/us up!

My father's doctor's team and the various cancer nurses I've been dealing with have been a complete Godsend. I don't know what I'd have done without them over this last couple of weeks, and they've even organised for a proper hospital bed to be delivered after the New Year so that we can move him downstairs to the back room.

That'll be a challenge, as I haven't got a clue what I'm going to do with all the stuff that's in there …

Still; that's a few days away so I'll cross that bridge when I get to it. Tomorrow I have to go and do some cleaning/ironing, and after Wednesday it all starts to get a bit tricky when life returns to normal after the Christmas break and I have to leave the house for longer than a couple of hours at the crack of dawn to go food shopping!

I've made the decision not to go to my office to work, BUT I'm a bit concerned about how effective that's going to be as there's always a constant stream of interruptions here and I've barely managed to get online at all in the last ten days.

This is why there's no Soapy Corners this week. I'd fully intended to put a big blog out this weekend, but – apart from Christmas Day Corrie (which I commandeered the main TV for), I've only been able to 'speed-watch' this week's Soaps and just haven't got/had time to write a word.

I'm so very sorry, as I've got a lot to say - especially about Derek's death (and the flamin' rest of it!) on EastEnders, and I couldn't help noticing, too, that Derek bears a striking resemblance to Lou Costello from the revered comedy duo Abbott & Costello, doesn't he? It's a bit strange that they're both dead though, innit? How do you explain THAT one away then, aye? (!)

I'm also vexed by Carla's return (what a swizz that was; we thought we'd been promised 'something explosive') in Corrie, but I'll be using every spare minute to cram as much as I can into a big 'New Year Special' next Sunday (6th January) instead!

My radio stuff all starts again this week too, so (unless my father takes a turn for the worse) I'll be doing my Soapy Spot on Alastair Greener's Big Mid-morning show from 10.45-11.15 on Thursday and co-presenting my TGI Friday show with Paul Dawkins, 4.00-5.00 pm on Friday; both on Swindon 1055.com, and 'Jane's Soapy Corners' are LIVE as usual from 6.00-6.30 pm every Wednesday night on Tellyspy.

'Jane's Soapy Corners' have also gone digital. Simply download the Podcasts App onto your iPhone or iPad then search for Tellyspy and they're all there.

This really wasn't how I'd intended my last blog of 2012 to be. I'd hoped to do some Soapy Corner Soap Awards (like: Couple Who Really Need to Call it a Day Now Award for Kat and Alfie), but my dad has to take priority at the moment.

2013 will be a year of great change for me. My father's house will have to be sold, and once it has, not only will our family not have a home/base any more but I won't have anywhere to live either.

I have to find some way of earning some money for my writing in the near future or I'll have to go back to work (as a Housekeeper, I guess) once I've completed the huge task of selling/clearing the house etc, but we all need to earn a living from somewhere, don't we?

I'd like to wish everyone reading this blog (and all my lovely Twitter followers) a very Happy New Year, and hope that 2013 is both prosperous and rewarding for you all. Jane X

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Jane Reynolds's Weekly Blog – 16th December 2012

Written on 17/12/2012 by Jane in The Complete Blog

I took this Sunrise Over Swindon on Monday morning (Sunday's was completely grey). My office is in direct sunlight from about 10.30-1.00 when the sun's out (obviously!). Thank goodness for blinds, that's what I say!

It's 11.00 am on Monday 17th Dec as I write this last section of this week's blog. It's late, but I don't know how I've managed to get it out at all (well, I DO; it's because I've worked even longer hours than normal to make it happen) as my father's fading fast and – in the space of 17 days – has gone from still driving to now being completely bedridden.

He's barely eating and is just skin and bone. It's hearkbreaking to see, and to not be able to do anything to help – except try to keep him going (when he's telling you he'd rather be dead) is so very hard.

What sort of society are we that we can fill a dying man full of pills to try to keep him alive when just one pill would end his suffering? We put animals to sleep; so why not people? I hope and pray that by the time I'm ever in that position it will be legal to simply pop a pill and just drift away.

As you can imagine, it's a huge strain, and I STILL haven't finished my tax! It's three-quarters done now, and I'm desperate to get it to my accountant by Friday at the latest, but as for Christmas …

Once this blog is out and posted in all its various places I'll be able to concentrate on that (after I've done my tax!), but there's such a lot to do and my two brothers, sister-in-law and brother's girlfriend are all rallying round to help make sure that my father's cared for in his last weeks (days?).

The smell of food cooking in the house makes him feel sick, and I can't begin to imagine what thoughts must be going through his head as he lies in his bed – simply waiting to die.

I've got this photo of him and my mother (both professional jazz musicians) in my office, and found it under some papers last week while I was doing my tax stuff.

When I look at them so clearly having a ball (my dad's the guy on the left and my mum's on sax) and think of the man I see lying helpless in bed I just want to cry.

It's something you don't think about when you're young – or until a close family member dies, but it's certainly giving me a lot to think about and when it's all over it's going to be a huge (enforced) change to my life and will force me to re-evaluate everything that I'm doing with regard to my writing.

Still; that's not for today. There won't be a blog this week (Sunday 23rd) as I simply haven't got the time to do one, but there will be a full blog coming out sometime over New Year week (depending on how things are going).

As it's Christmas week I'm going to do my best to keep up with my radio stuff, and I'll be guesting on the Girls About Town show between 10.00-12.00 am on Wednesday 19th; doing my Soapy Spot on Alastair Greener's Big Mid-morning show from 10.45-11.15 on Thursday 20th and co-presenting a festive TGI Friday show with Paul Dawkins, 4.00-5.00 pm on Friday 21st, all on Swindon 1055.com.

'Jane's Soapy Corners' are LIVE as usual from 6.00-6.30 pm this Wednesday night on Tellyspy, and there will be a Christmas Special at 6.00 on Saturday 22nd (more details to come on Twitter).

* 'Jane's Soapy Corners' have gone digital. Simply download the Podcasts App onto your iPhone or iPad then search your iPhone or iPad then search for Tellyspy and they're all there.

Right. I hope you have a very Happy Christmas, and thank you so much for reading my blog/Soapy Corners over the year. See you on the other side.

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Emmerdale-y – 16th December 2012

Written on 17/12/2012 by Jane in Emmerdale-y, Soapy Corner, The Complete Blog

You can hear me talking Soaps 10.45-11.15 am on Thursdays, 4.00-5.00 pm Fridays (Swindon 1055.com CLICK HERE TO LISTEN), and on my LIVE internet Soap Show 6.00-6.30 pm every Wednesday on Tellyspy. CLICK HERE TO LISTEN.)

Rachel's waters broke; Edna didn't have any water for her soup and Jai's well-and-truly in the soup …

It's been a bad week for Jai. It'll be an even worse one when Charity finds out (as she surely will) that he's the father of Rachel's baby.

She'd thought it was just a bit of wind, but no; this little mite actually managed to arrive before Christmas Eve/Day (a very popular time for Soap babies)! I'm not sure how easy it is to give birth sat bolt upright, but Rachel gave us a rousing performance and has been excellent all week.

Ooh, it must have been hard for her not to have spilled the beans to Charity (who's getting cockier by the day at the moment) though. Pride comes before a fall, they say. Hmm. Not just pride, but arrogance too.

Look at what happened to Carl, and it's been cleverly written too, as (if my Twitter feed is anything to go by) Charity's pretty unpopular right now, and there's nothing we like better than someone getting their come-uppance, is there?

I did wonder what Charity will do when she DOES find out though? She's always loved power and status, but if she leaves Jai she'll lose the big house, the car and the cash. It's going to be a real dilemma for her, isn't it? Oh dear. How sad. Never mind.

Kids: who'd have 'em, aye?

I felt a bit sorry for Mr S too, as all three of his offspring are giving him a headache at the moment. I thought it was sweet of him to go and visit his Grandson, but not so sweet of him to try to warn Rachel off, although I do understand that he's only trying to protect his son (and himself!) from the wrath of Charity!

"I'm not some little housewife slaving over a hot stove waiting for her hubby to come home and give her a little smile," she ranted at Jai in the office.

"I'm sure no-one could ever accuse you of that," Mr S reflected quietly.

He's right there. (How DO they get their clothes get washed and ironed, keep their home so spotless and look after Noah when she's so busy doing her ting?) 'You can't kid a kidder' though, and she's on to them. It's only a matter of time before it all comes out, so if Jai's worried now, this is going to seem like the tip of the iceberg once Charity puts two and two together!

It's worse than we thought at Edna's

Who else is looking tense? Ah, yes, Edna. She's worried sick and falling further and further into debt in an attempt to keep Tootsie (who's looking a picture of health) alive. I guess you can't put a bit of pale makeup on a dog!

Ashley's noticed that something's up, but Edna's of a generation where you kept yourself to yourself and never talked about your problems. Her problems must be worse than we thought though, as she couldn't even afford the water for her cup-a-soup (she poured the sachet into an empty mug; you're meant to put the powder in first, THEN add water. I know; I looked it up – just to be sure)!

Is Katie a mug for not telling Deccers it's over? I think so, but (like Charity) if she ends it she loses the house and the lifestyle (a small price to pay to be shot of him, in my book), but if I was Katie I'd be making sure my money was in a account where he couldn't get his hands on it, as he'll be after every penny he can lay his hands on once The Smile's finished with him.

Behind every smile …

That lovely smile (which barely ever leaves her face) is SO engaging. I just love to watch Megan's scenes, and she's using her charm to great advantage in her goal of getting back what's rightfully hers for all the work she's put in for that old misery.

Aah. It was nice to see Debbie apologise to Gennie, but it doesn't alter her resolve to appear for the Prosecution against Chas. That's harsh, and I hope she knows what she's doing.

What's Nikhil doing, telling Jai that they were the figures he'd reworked when it was GENNIE who'd done them? I hate it when people take credit for (or pretend they've done) something when they haven't, and it's even worse for Nikhil to have done it to Gennie.

THAT'S why she needs to go in there and grab that place by the bon bons and take it to a whole new level so that they'll all finally admit and agree that she's really good at her job – rather than all take the credit for HER work themselves. Grrr. 'Go Gennie'!

New Year's grieve?

"We're going to be a proper family again," Jake (the peg) cried happily. Oops. That wasn't part of the plan, was it, David?

I can't wait for Alicia to come back. Who's going to get David: her or Pointless Priya (sorry Fiona)? There's only one way to find out … although no. The fact that David said he'd have to hold off telling her and Jake until after the New Year can only mean one thing: they'll grow closer over Christmas and it'll lead to a tender kiss on the stroke of midnight …

Will I be right? I reckon so. Bring on the catfight!

We had some Good Acting From a Bit-Part Actor this week; the woman who Paddy asked if she had cash to pay her bill.

"It's two 'undred quid," she exclaimed (in a lovely Yorkshire accent), and there's a few good one-liners for Grins of The Week:

Rachel (about Misery's Grandad): "Ali doesn't think he's going to be around for much longer."

Sam: "Why? Where's he going?"

Bernice (about Steve): "I don't want to put pressure on him when he's just got here."

Val: "Not at his age."

Amelia: "I'm the only girl here – apart from Noah."

Alan: "I'm doing something interesting with a parsnip."

Betty: "Ooh, (chuckles) you're making me blush."

Debbie: "I hope you've brought some (drinks) for Sarah?"

Charity: "I'll have to make her a G&T – without the G."

Jai: "Will you call me?"

Sam: "Why?"

Bernice (to Rodders about Steve): "He's not a nomad. You make him sound like a naked man with a spear."

Val: "That'd liven the place up."

PS

* Rhona's pointy disease show no signs of clearing up. In fact, she's looking quite unwell from it now (!)

* Charity's coaching's working well for Belle, isn't it? She's got her dad wrapped right round her little finger!

* I reckon Rhona's had more of a racy past than she's letting-on about!

* There's no way Dan should have been at work around food with that cold.

* How funny was David's fall? Really convincing. Loved it!

* Katie described feeling completely calm when she thought she was going to die. I know just what she means. My car was hit by a lorry as I drove to work one morning (years ago now), and as I spun across two lanes of a dual carriageway I looked at the cars coming towards me and everything seemed to just go into slow motion. I felt absolutely calm, and as memories of my life literally DID flash before my eyes (they say that happens, don't they?), the only thought that went though my mind was, "I wonder which one of these cars is going to be the one that kills me?'

* Rachel's baby changed colour from when it popped out to when it got to the incubator.

One last thing …

If you read the first part of my weekly blogs you'll know that my father has terminal cancer. He's gone downhill so fast in the last ten days that we're not sure whether he'll even make it to Christmas.

As you can imagine, it's all very tough and is taking a lot of time to ensure that we're giving him the very best care that we can.

I've barely even STARTED thinking about Christmas yet so have had to accept that there's simply no way I'm going to be able to get a blog out next Sunday. I'm really sorry, but I'm hoping to put a FULL blog out around Sunday 30th; reflecting on all the events of the big day – and beyond!

Thanks for reading Emmerdale-y, and I hope that (unlike half the characters in the village) you'll have a Very Merry Christmas!

CLICK HERE TO GO TO THE EMMERDALE HOMEPAGE

Got a comment? Why not add one below or tweet me before Wednesday afternoon (@janereynolds8) so that I can talk about it on 'Jane's Soapy Corners' live on Tellyspy at 6.00 on Wednesday nights.

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Queen Vic Corner – 16th December 2012

Written on 17/12/2012 by Jane in Queen Vic Corner, Soapy Corner, The Complete Blog

(You can hear me talking Soaps 10.45-11.15 am every Thursday; 4.00-5.00 pm Fridays on Swindon 1055.com CLICK HERE TO LISTEN and on my internet Soap Show 6.00-6.30 pm Wednesdays on Tellyspy. CLICK HERE TO LISTEN)

No red-nosed reindeer to light up the Brannings; the Square's all lit up, but who's paying the bill, and did Roxy really pay for Kat's Christmas shopping trip?

"What sort of person would do this? It's evil," Abi cried as she looked at the broken reindeer (God, don't she and Tanya look alike?).

Son of Derek, that's who, and I'm wondering now whether he should be with Lauren after all, as anybody who can behave like that's not fit to be in the same room as the lovely Tanya.

There's something going on between Tanya and Derek. I don't know what, but I saw more evidence of it again this week when she told him: "Will you just leave my kids alone."

As I've said many times: Tanya's expressions tell you more than ANY words, and the look that flashed across her face as she said it spoke volumes, but WHAT?

It's all going to be coming out over Christmas, so I'm curious to see if I'm 'on to' something here (I'm betting that Lauren's his), and I was also curious about how she'd got the all clear from the hospital but told Max that her phone had been switched off and that she'd forgotten to turn it back on.

I don't know about you, but if I go anywhere where I can't use my phone, the very FIRST thing I do when I come out is to look and see if I've got any messages then ring people to tell them what I've just been doing/what's happened etc.

This happens a lot in EastEnders. It's not really credible is it (oops, it's that word again), and neither was Kat's defence of bumping into Roxy – who apparently drew £100 cash out for her to go shopping with. Yeah, right! If I were Alfie I'd have been straight on the phone to Roxy to check if it was true – although her phone would probably have been switched off, wouldn't it?

German market? More like the Beijing Olympics

Switched off. Switched ON. HOW ridiculous were those lights? Can you seriously expect us to believe that some little Square dahn the East End could rustle up enough money for a tree that size (where on earth did the cherry picker come from?) and a display of literally hundreds of thousand of lights? Even that light for the top of the tree; that wouldn't have come cheap, would it?

Ok, I know it's Christmas, but EastEnders is meant to be realistic (yeah, ok, sort of!), and there is no way that Alfie would have been able to organise all that – never mind the COST of it all, and as for it being a German market … er, what was German about it? Those stalls looked to have nothing but tat on them. Wasn't he meant to have got traditional German products on his trip to … Germany?

It's just not (in the slightest bit) credible, and it really does exercise me. I've had a bit of trouble following it this week – Tuesday's episode especially. It was all very 'bitty' and felt disjointed, and I STILL don't know what Phil's plan is over Lexi – although he's got her now ("MY baby" he told Lola), so that might speed it all up a bit.

How is Phil going to look after a tiny baby: give up all his other stuff (not that he ever seems to do any work)? This is a man with a fuse as short as Max Branning's hair, so how he's going to cope with a small child is a mystery to me.

Cora's heart's melted for Christmas

Ok. Moaning over. Time for a bit of praise. A LOT of praise. HOW good were those scenes with firstly Abi and CC in the launderette and then CC and Ava? I had tears running down my face as the hard-nosed harridan melted like a snowman right in front of our eyes.

"Do you like Christmas?" Ava asked her.

"I'm coming round to it," CC admitted – fighting back tears of joy.

Wonderful stuff. Let's have more of Ava please, and let's hope that Rainie shows up for the wedding (and sober too) so that they can have a real 'Fairmlee' Christmas. Not long to go now …

Festive Appropriate/Inappropriate Music in the Background this week, with 'Simply Having a Wonderful Christmas Time' playing as Alfie gave Bianca a bag of stuff and told her she was going to have a good Christmas; the line 'Don't fool yourself; she was heartache from the moment that you met her,' was wailing-away as Alfie stood waiting for Michael to arrive, and he even sang along to the line, 'I knew what she'd done'.

There's more. Shakin' Stevens' 'Merry Christmas everyone' was ringing-out as Abi told CC to cheer up because it's Christmas, and we heard the line, "Sweet love was born," as CC and Ava talked guardedly in the launderette. There was more than that, but I couldn't make out the rest.

Four Grins of the Week again. That's our Christmas present sorted!

Ian: "I've called Europe."

Denise: "Were they in?"

Abi: "What's up?"

Tanya: "Well, a) I don't want Derek telling me who's gonna be bridesmaid; b) I don't want him being Best Man, and c) I don't … want him being around. Apart from that, I'm fine."

Phil (to Derek): "Go and play with the traffic."

Jean: "It's not very Christmassy in here."

CC (wearily): "It's a launderette, Jean. Not Santa's Grotto."

PS

* Alfie looks like Mr Incredible (Mr Incredibly stupid more like) here. His legs and bottom half look tiny and his jeans look WAY too tight!

* Surely it was a plantain that Ian was holding? HOW much better would that scene have been if Denise had said smugly: "Actually, Ian, that's a plantain, not a banana. I thought you'd have known that – what with you being a fruit and veg seller all these years … "

* CC got that job fast. The ad was only in the paper last Thursday.

* Ian's got a bit of a Father Christmas belly going on!

* I see where Cousin ITT gets his hair from (that teatowel on his head was a big improvement), as Sharon's hair's getting 'bigger' by the week!

* I loved (and was worried by) CC's line to Abi: "You get to an age where you don't want ups, you don't want downs, you just want a bit of peace." I'm starting to agree with her, but that's not good!

* Where was Tommy while Kat was out shopping and Alfie was torturing himself over her?

* Where's Scarlett gone? Michael never seems to have her any more. How is he managing for money? Didn't Janine cancel his access to all her accounts?

* Anyone else think that Lola could have been Sharon's long-lost daughter?

* Derek's flies were undone just after Kat got back to the pub. A blatant clue? A very strange thing to have bothered writing into the script if it wasn't!

One last thing …

As you can imagine, it's all very tough and is taking a lot of time to ensure that we're giving him the very best care that we can.

Thanks for reading Queen Vic Corner, and I hope that (unlike half the characters in the Square) you'll have a Very Merry Christmas!

If you agree (or disagree!) with anything I've written this week, come and tell me why on 'Jane's Soapy Corners', LIVE on Tellyspy between 6.00-6.30 pm every Wednesday night!

CLICK HERE TO GO TO THE EASTENDERS' HOMEPAGE

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Corrie Corner – 16th December 2012

Written on 17/12/2012 by Jane in Corrie Corner, Soapy Corner, The Complete Blog

(You can hear me talking Soaps 10.45-11.15 am every Thursday, from 4.00-5.00 pm Fridays on Swindon 105.5 FM CLICK HERE TO LISTEN and on my internet Soap Show 6.00-6.30 every Wednesday on Tellyspy CLICK HERE TO LISTEN).

Gail crows; Kylie's got a crowbar; Stella glows and Curse-ty's baby photo doesn't get a glowing response …

Affairs of the heart loom large this week, and all's not well between David and Kylie. When your wife comes at you with a crowbar it's never a good sign, and Tommy deliberately chose to go into the Bistro to tell her that he'd just seen David coming out the the shower at Tina's.

"Don't do anything daft," Eva warned her.

"Why? What's daft about cold-blooded murder?" she seethed as she stormed off to confront him.

It was a cracking row. Kylie's a great actress and is one of the best in the business when it comes to a slanging match!

Come 'ere and say that

Luckily for David, Gary was there to 'hold her back' and it's lucky for Gail that Eileen wasn't a bit closer to her (or had a crowbar in her hand) or there'd have potentially been more blood shed on the cobbles this week.

"Wind your neck in … you nosy cow," was all Eileen managed to shout across the street after Gail goaded her about Jason's new Mrs Robinson relationship.

Poor old Eileen – walking in to find her son in a passionate clinch with her 49-year-old friend. The funny thing is though: if it had been the other way round, nobody would be batting an eyelid, would they? Why is it that everyone gets so exercised over an older woman being with a younger man?

Stella should 'fill her boots' and enjoy the ride (so to speak), as there'll be thousands of women out there who'd happily swap places and be dead envious of her for bagging such a good-looking, fit (and nice) guy as our Jason. He, too, can hardly have much to complain about. Stella's a fine figure of a woman, and there's a lot of men (and women) who'd be just as envious of him, I'm sure.

Get to the back of the queue, mate

First in line is – of course – Karl, but if he was stupid enough to let a woman like that go, then more fool him. It's awful to see him trying to get her back – and right under Sunita's nose (although she doesn't realise it yet) like that. I really don't want them to get back together, EVER.

Karl lost his chance. He's a waste of space. He's a good character, but not good enough for Stella, as he's let her down so many times (and in so many ways) that it would just demean HER character if she were to ever take him back again.

So … as for people taking people back again … Peter's back – and back for good.

I'm too sexy for my bookie's

Blimey. He's loving himself now that he's had his makeover, isn't he? The trendy new haircut; the beard-y thing and the tan: it's like George Clooney himself has stepped onto the cobbles … NOT. Not for me, anyway.

He reminds me more of Keiran (Keith Duffy), but although I'm happy not to see him smoking, that 'evangelical' air he's had about him this week has irritated the hell out of me.

Last time we saw Peter he was a scruffy, alcoholic, smoking, shifty little bookie, but you'd think it was Jesus himself 'come amongst' us with that new, pious attitude he's adopted!

Still, who cares? He's back, and there's been some very sweet scenes with Simon this week, as the little lad had to go from the joy of seeing his dad back to despair at the thought of him leaving again.

My heart melted when I saw him trotting into the Airport with his rucksack on his back – bless, and that was the second that Carla had to accept that it was over between her and Peter.

Any affair is made doubly difficult when there are children involved, and – as so often happens – ultimately the parent chooses the child over the woman/man.

Tell him to 'get stuffed', Carla

There's a full Carla Corner post this week which looks at it all in depth from Carla's point of view, but as to the future of the pair of them: it's clear that Leanne's thinking she's about to marry the wrong feller (as Nick fears), and – in time – Carla will come to realise that it would never have worked out with Peter in the long-term – because of Simon, and will realise just what a lucky escape she had.

Carla's like a fish out of water when she has to be a part of anything to do with 'family', and the thought of her sitting round the table playing happy families with Tracy and eating Deirdre's stuffed marrow is about as far-fetched a concept as Kirk winning Mastermind!

Carla's a loner. She needs one person to love totally, and to love her back TOTALLY in return. Cue Michelle …

Don't bite the hand that feeds you, Rob

She also needs to get back in and send Rob packing. How DARE he speak to her like he did this week? He'd be in the gutter without the lifeline Carla gave him. He's got no management (or man-management) skills, and I'd be very happy to see the back of him. Not that I don't like HIM; it's just that we all want to see Carla and Michelle back running the factory together, that's all.

It pains me to say it, but I thought those scenes with the Crossing Patrol people were absolutely cringeworthy (apart from Beth's line, "It must be Gay Pride or something,"), and that even Steve (who normally gets it spot-on) was so OTT with the cowboy-speak that it made me wince.

I loved the scene where Nick and Leanne were discussing having David to stay (in pretty negative terms – and right in front of him). "I am here you know?" he piped up! Here's the best of the rest in our Grins of the Week:

Sean (looking at Ruby's photo): "Don't worry. I had a wonky eye when I was born but it soon cleared up."

Curse-ty: "She hasn't got a wonky eye (!)""

Rob: "I think their secretary fancies me; my voice turns her on."

Michelle: "Tone deaf, is she?"

Norris (fishing for Beth to buy him a drink): "I haven't paid for mine yet."

Beth: "Well, get on with it then."

David: "Jeremy Kyle's on in a minute."

Tina: "Never mind Kyle. It's Kylie you wanna see."

David (smirking appreciatively): "I see what you did there."

Steve: "What is Street Cars' motto?"

Lloyd: " … Dunno."

Peter (finding out Leanne was just about to leave for her wedding, etc): "Obviously if I'd have known I'd have done things differently."

Leanne: "How would you have done that: sent a message in a bottle?"

PS

* Why's Beth wearing a necklace with 'C' on it? Is she dyslexic, or is it for Craigie?

* Nice to see Craig back. It's been ages!

* Peter said that Carla looked beautiful in the sunshine. I don't know about you, but I simply can't picture those two on a beach – or even outdoors exposing anything more than their faces to the light. They resemble a pair of vampires most of the time (cloaked head-to-toe in black like they are).

Can you actually imagine them in swimwear? I can't. (Well, I can, but it's not exactly pleasurable – unlike the thought of Ali King in a bikini … ) Do they even make black, full length cossies?

One last thing …

As you can imagine, it's all very tough and is taking a lot of time to ensure that we're giving him the very best care that we can.

Thanks for reading Corrie Corner, and I hope that (unlike half the characters on the cobbles) you'll have a Very Merry Christmas!

CLICK HERE TO GO TO THE CORONATION STREET HOMEPAGE

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Carla Corner – 16th December 2012

Written on 17/12/2012 by Jane in Carla Corner, Soapy Corner, The Complete Blog

Cheated and broken-hearted.

No, not Carla … US.

Desperate, we were. Desperate for her and Michelle's big reunion clinch, but it was Sean (the gay man: significant?) who was the lucky recipient of the Connor arms around him and the Connor lips on his face on Monday. The only proper hug we got to see between them was when Carla left again.

If you looked carefully, you could just see her arm on Michelle's shoulder at one point (when she was talking to Rob in the office), but we didn't see the actual reunion, although I reckon it would have come the second after the camera cut-away here (as that would have been their first moment alone).

Look at her face. If Carla Connor looked at you like that, you'd be expecting a kiss (at the very least) to follow, wouldn't you?

Even though we were on the edge of our seats we didn't get another clinch until Friday (we never got to see them in Michelles' flat), and if you looked closely (as I'm sure we all did), it looked for a millisecond as if it was going to be a proper full-on kiss, but the Connor lips sadly ended up on Michelle's cheek.

Gutted doesn't even come close to the disappointment we felt, does it, and as if that wasn't bad enough, she's now gone and left us again! I haven't seen any spoilers so don't know what's happening, but I just hope it's not going to be too long before she's back.

"You're not talking about going for good, are you?" Michelle asked.

"I am, baby. I'm sorry," Carla replied sadly.

You couldn't blame her though, I guess? "I can do without it. I can do without ANY of it," she admitted to Michelle after Peter had told her she had to go and pick Simon up from school.

She'd looked unhappy from the moment she stepped out of the taxi, and within seconds it was already pretty-much back to how it had been before they left, with her needs being totally ignored as everything revolved around Peter.

Being a Barlow's enough to turn anyone to drink

Carla's not a family-type person, and even seeing her sat at Ken and Deirdre's table looked and felt wrong. She could never be a part of a family unit like that – unlike Leanne, who's such a great mother to Simon and just looks and 'feels' to be a part of the Barlow clan.

Now that Peter's staying though, we all know where that one's heading, but what of Carla? She said that being back was bad for her for so many reasons – not least the drinking.

If I was stuck in a situation like that I'D drink too, but if she was with someone who REALLY loved her and who didn't have an ex-wife and young child in the same street then it could (and would) be a whole different story, wouldn't it?

To be honest: Carla looked tired and drawn all week. The poor woman's got troubles in her private life which – no matter how good an actor you are – can't help but show in your face … either that, or she's just been deliberately going without makeup and a good night's sleep in order to make it all look more realistic. Either way; she's had nothing but heartache from men and deserves a proper relationship and a bit of real happiness now.

More than 'Just Good Friends'?

Come on Corrie. We need her to arrive back a second time and for Michelle to be her rock while she comes to terms with seeing Peter with Leanne and for them to both realise and accept that their feelings for each other are actually more than just friendship.

This could be one of Coronation Street's biggest storylines ever: with two older women becoming the first-ever 'proper' professional lesbian Soap couple. Look how Michelle was looking at Carla with pride and adoration as she tore Rob to shreds. That's love, that is!

Sophie and Sian's was a ground-breaking storyline for them (and I know we've got Sophie's new inter-racial lesbian relationship coming up next year), but this is something totally different.

It's a lot easier for younger viewers to relate to Sophie – as 'lipstick lesbianism' (and showing a lot of affection towards your female friends) is now considered perfectly normal to that generation, but a growing percentage of 'older' women are leaving heterosexual relationships to begin new lives with female partners.

Give us Carchelle for Christmas!

Emmerdale have got Misery Ali and Ruby, but it's not the same thing at all. Putting Michelle and Carla together would be SUCH a coup for Corrie.

All we can do is hope that 'the powers that be' see the potential and give us #Carchelle fans what we're so desperate for …

Let's hope it's not too long before we see her back on the cobbles again, aye?

PS

* When Rob accused her (in front of a client) of either suffering from jet-lag – or having drunk too many duty frees, did you hear that lovely little "Ooh," she did? Worth a second look on ITV Player (Mon, 8.30)!

* It wasn't nice to see her fall in the playground, was it? Great acting, and if you're not already on Twitter and following @MrsConnorsLegs then you really should be. I don't know who's behind it, but they've got a sense of humour worthy of the lady herself.

*(If it turned out to be Alison King herself behind it I wouldn't be the slightest bit surprised. Go and have a read and you'll see what I mean!)

* If this is your first visit to Carla Corner then if you've got half an hour to spare, go right back to the very first week to see how it all came about. This whole page only ever started because I'd started to notice how tactile (the normally cold and aloof) Carla was towards Michelle.

* As if getting Carla back hasn't been excitement enough; here's a lovely little compilation video Twitter's @AlisonKingFansx put together of all Carla's best bits from last week and has kindly allowed me to use: CLICK HERE TO VIEW

PPS

If you love the thought of Carla and Michelle getting together then you might like to put my novel 'Just Good Friends?' on your Christmas list.

Right. That's it for now. There's more on Carla/Peter's return in this week's Corrie Corner, and the next Carla Corner will be on the Sunday following the week she makes her next return. Let's hope it's soon, aye? In the meantime – unlike poor Carla – I hope you all have a Very Happy Christmas.

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Jane Reynolds's Weekly Blog – 9th December 2012

Written on 09/12/2012 by Jane in The Complete Blog

The Sunrise Over Swindon on the left was taken as I left home at about 7.15 on Saturday morning. I waited for about five minutes for that cloud to move, but it didn't, or it would have been a big kiss in the sky!

The one on the right was taken from my office window this morning (Sunday). A nice, dull, overcast AND FROST-FREE morning.

When I had to urgently replace my car in the Autumn, the most important item on the list was to get another car with a heated windscreen and wing mirrors like I had in my Ford, but because I couldn't find a good one at the right price I was encouraged to look at other things.

I knew I'd regret it, and now – when I'm leaving home in the dark and the cold and my car looks like it's covered in icing sugar – I bitterly regret not sticking to my guns. Why ALL cars don't come with heated windscreens as standard (the extra cost would be negligible to the manufacturer if every car was fitted with one), I'll never know. Needless to say: the next car I buy will have a heated windscreen …

If you follow me on Twitter you might have seen that I've been having a 'challenging' week. My father's terminal cancer has suddenly moved up several gears. He hasn't moved out of his chair for seven days now, and I've been having to look after him; try to make sure he takes his pills, feed him (not that he's been able to eat a lot) and keep up with the rest of the daily household stuff.

It would be tricky for anyone, but my problem is that I already work at least a twelve hour day – seven days a week, and 'lost' Wednesday this week too (by having to put the Christmas decorations up), and that's without even thinking about all the food shopping/cooking etc I'm going to have to do over Christmas. I haven't bought a single Christmas present or even written a card yet – which is unheard of for me.

I got more and more stressed as the week went on (and felt close to breaking point on Friday), but while lying in bed crying on Friday night, a weird feeling of 'calm' suddenly came over me which made me feel as if I would be able to cope after all.

I've been a lot better since. I need to try to 'look' positive for my father's sake, but seeing him going downhill is horrible (as everyone who's ever been through it will know), and my heart breaks to see my self-sufficient, busy father reduced to sitting in a chair, barely able to even get upstairs to bed at night.

The next few months are going to be extremely tough, and I've been referring to Dale Carnegie's wonderful 'How To Stop Worrying and Start Living', which instructs you to simply take each day as it comes and don't even try to think beyond that.

I just wish that somebody could have given me a proper PAID job Soap-writing by now though, as my father told me on Friday night that I 'Need to rethink my plans, as they're clearly not working out' (never one to mince his words, my dad!).

When I left work six years ago to try to become a writer, I never for one moment envisaged that I'd be Soap writing. I just thought I'd write novels, plays and comedy sketches. I've only actually written one book though, because the blog/Soap stuff's come along and taken over my life. Trouble is; I wonder if it's simply been a folly to have indulged in my passion for Soap reviewing?

All I wanted was for my father to see me be successful at something (in HIS eyes) before he died. Looks like I'm not going to get my wish. That's a tough thing for me to cope with as I see him fade away before my eyes.

Oh, well. Better get on. Need to get this posted and get home to him. Have a good week, everyone.

PS 'Jane's Soapy Corners' have gone digital. Simply download the Podcasts App onto your iPhone or iPad then search for Tellyspy and they're all there.

'Jane's Soapy Corners' are LIVE from 6.00-6.30 pm every Wednesday night on Tellyspy.

There's also my regular Thursday radio shows (10.45-11.15 am) and Friday (4.00-5.00 pm) on Swindon 1055.com, where I give my Harry-Hill-ish observations and opinions on all the best (and more importantly, the worst) bits of what's going on in Emmerdale, Coronation Street and EastEnders.

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Corrie Corner – 7th December 2012

Written on 09/12/2012 by Jane in Corrie Corner, Soapy Corner, The Complete Blog

(How much are we all enjoying the new sponsor's ads? Those cute little meerkats are so funny. When you look forward to seeing an advert I guess it means that a campaign's clearly hitting some sort of mark!)

No 'Daddy David' or 'Daddy Duckworth', but we're going to be seeing 'Daddy Peter' back next week. That'll put the Ca … rla among the pigeons!

After last week's high drama with Curse-ty, this week provided a bit of light relief, starting with Norris having a little dig at Dennis over his attempts to get a job. Some lovely writing – like when Dennis was on the phone to Rita while waiting for his interview:

Rita: "You'll just have to be patient love. They'll get to you eventually."

Norris: "They'll get a shock when they do."

Norris hit on the perfect job for Dennis: a Christmas decoration 'putter-upper-and-downer', enabling him to have eleven months of the year off 'to get over it'. Laugh out loud stuff!

'Comedy Steve' got in on the act too, and delighted in teasing him in front of Rita.

Dennis: "You don't take the stick home with you."

Steve: "Ah, 'stick', is it? Oh, you TMOs; you love your jargon, don't you?"

Look; don't look

They all love a good gossip too, and when Tina collapsed in the street, she quickly drew a crowd. Emily suggested that they shouldn't stand there gawping, but that was when Dr Carter was checking her over, so they must have already been there a good few minutes, as someone would have had to either ring or go and find him in the Medical Centre and for him to then have made his way over there. That must have taken a good few minutes – at least?

It all got too much for Tommy, and he tried to persuade Tina to have an abortion for the sake of their relationship (rather than thinking about Gary and Izzie), but she felt guilty/obliged.

"I really like them," she tried to explain.

"I really like Rita and Dennis, but I wouldn't have a baby for them," Tommy retorted reasonably. (Ha. I'd like to see him try!).

Who's the daddy? Not you, son

Ooh, it's a hard one, this. How awful must it have been for Tommy to have everyone to congratulating him and calling him Daddy Duckworth – knowing that it wasn't his baby? We knew it wouldn't be long before Norris spilled the beans though, didn't we, and it proved to be the last straw for Tommy.

No Daddy David either – as Kylie's pill-taking was discovered by Gail.

David had booked a Hotel room for them to go and make a baby in, but Kylie was working – which didn't go down well. We had a bit of Appropriate/Inappropriate Music in the Background as the guitarist sang Take That's 'Tonight Could Be the Greatest Night of Our Lives' in the background behind them while they were arguing about it in the Bistro. Ah, it could have been. It wasn't …

David was still going on about it the next day; telling Kylie that the room had an en-suite etc and a trouser press, which led to this exchange:

Kylie: "Will you shut up about that hotel. What would we need a trouser press for anyway?"

David: "Pressing trousers … "

Kylie: "Well that won't get us far, will it?"

Lovely stuff – again – from the writers, and it'll be interesting to see where this one goes. Most women manage to combine work and motherhood these days (through necessity, usually), but Kylie's got the advantage of being a Soap mother, so wouldn't even have to worry about her baby's whereabouts for most of the year! (Where IS Hope, by the way: 'away' with Kevin's Jack somewhere?)

We ended the week with David, Kylie, Tommy and Tina all feeling very sorry for themselves. What will happen next? Hey. We all know what's happening next week, don't we? Yes. At last. Finally, it's … Carla, back on the cobbles, but for how long?

I've tried not to read any spoilers, but some people are saying that she's going to be heading straight off again. After five months without her I'm not sure we could cope with that, to be honest.

There'll be a full 'Carla Corner' post next week for all you #Carchelle/Ali fans out there. Ooh, I can't WAIT for Monday night. Leanne's face will be an absolute picture!

I can't see what anyone sees in that fag-dragging bookie myself but (as I always say), 'beauty is in the eye of the beholder', and that just brings us back to Carla …

Kylie gets a Good Drinking From a Mug Award; Steve and Lloyd both get Bad Drinking From a Mug Awards (for their efforts outside the cab office) and here's our Grins of the Week:

David: "Have you not gone to work yet?"

Kylie: "Yeah. I left about ten minutes ago."

Stella (to Tina): "Go home and take the weight off your gob."

Kylie: "Who knows how long it could take me to get pregnant?"

Gail: "An awfully long time if you're still on the pill."

David: "Ooh, what have I stumbled on here?"

Tina: "I'm renting my womb: form a queue."

Sally: "I hope you don't mind, but I just wanted to say—"

Owen: "I thought you might."

Norris: "She told you and didn't tell me?"

Rita: "Well, unlike some people, I'm not Rent-A-Gasbag."

Tina: "Bog off, David."

Kylie (finding out that David had been telling Max he was going to have a sibling): "Wait till I get hold of that skinny little Platt."

PS

* I was thinking: if Ruby's anything like her mother, Tyrone's going to have to wear full body armour once she starts throwing her toys out of her pram …

* Max's hair; bless!

* Please send Rob to open another branch of Underworld in Preston (via the Isle of Wight). He just hasn't got a clue how to run a business. Fancy sacking Fiz like that. He supposedly 'learned' management on a course in Prison. He's got no experience but acts like he knows it all. He doesn't. They don't need him. Carla's the boss. Get her and Michelle back running the place together. 'Two's company', Rob, ok? Take a hint.

* Faye asked Tina about her bleached teeth. Tina looked as if she'd just come back from spending a fortnight on a sunbed this week, which made her ultra-white pegs look even more dazzling than normal.

* £7.80 for 20 fags and a Weatherfield Gazette? That's what Rita charged Steve. Are cigarettes really that expensive? If they are, why would Steve/anyone still smoke? Jaw-dropping.

* Why is Tommy working outside the garage in the dark in Winter in just a T-shirt? Silly boy.

* Talking of meerkats – Corrie's got its own Nickkat:

* Funny how everyone's Christmas decorations suddenly just appear overnight in Soaps. You never see anyone actually putting them up …

* Where was Lewis on Friday night? He and Gail had gone out to dinner together (with him in a wheelchair), and he's currently living with her, so why did she come home on her own?

* Tina's fridge has got a dodgy light. The first time David opened it (HOW much beer was in there, btw?) there was no light on, and the second time it was on, but was blue. Blue?

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