Author Archives: Jane

Jane Reynolds's Weekly Blog – 27th January 2013

Each week is getting more demanding (time-wise) as my dad's condition deteriorates.

This blog is only finally getting posted at 5.00 pm on Monday. The list of OTHER stuff I'm meant to be doing is getting longer – and more scary – by the day, but my dad has to take priority and everything else has to be fitted in around it.

I'd like to write more but I need to get this posted, so hope you'll enjoy this week's Soapy Corners and I'll see you next week!

I'll be doing my Soapy Spot on Alastair Greener's Big Mid-morning show from 10.45-11.15 on Thursday and co-presenting my TGI Friday show with Paul Dawkins from 4.00-5.00 pm on Friday; both on Swindon 1055.com, and 'Jane's Soapy Corners' are LIVE as usual from 6.00-6.30 pm every Wednesday night on Tellyspy.

'Jane's Soapy Corners' have also gone digital. Simply download the Podcasts App onto your iPhone or iPad then search for Tellyspy and they're all there.

Have a good week everyone.

Emmerdale-y – 27th January 2012

Emmerdale logo2012 Emmerdale y   27th January 2012You can hear me talking Soaps 10.45-11.15 am on Thursdays, 4.00-5.00 pm Fridays on Swindon 1055.com CLICK HERE TO LISTEN, and on my LIVE internet Soap Show 6.00-6.30 pm every Wednesday on Tellyspy. CLICK HERE TO LISTEN

Dan's the man; Debbie thinks she is; Alicia's all woman, and have we found the next girl band?

Dom Debbie Emmerdale y   27th January 2012I thought I'd dropped off and woken up in the middle of an episode of Dragons' Den when I heard Debbie and Dom negotiating over his percentage share of her business.

I also thought I might have been dreaming, because surely nobody in their right mind would offer someone she didn't like (and who was pretty-much threatening to blackmail her) not only a job, but a share in a business where nobody even wanted him?

Still, it seemed that she was – and she did! I'm struggling with this whole storyline as it seems rather far-fetched and even less believable than it did last week. I'm also struggling with the Dom character. I just can't take to him, I'm afraid.

Dan's still the man

Dan Emmerdale y   27th January 2012It can sometimes take a while for characters to 'bed in', but when I think back to Dan's first few scenes I know I was hooked on him straight away and wrote that I'd hoped he'd get a bigger part.

Aah, look at him now: nominated for 'Best Newcomer' at the NTAs this week. Ok, he didn't win (let's not even go there … ) but it was still nice to be nominated, and I'm looking forward to lots of good stuff from Dan this year – especially if my wish for him and Kerry to get together comes true!

Archie Emmerdale y   27th January 2012Dan's unlucky in love, and Jai's jealous of the time Sam's spending with Archie and at the thought of him and and Rachel getting together and Archie growing up thinking he's his daddy. He didn't like Rachel taking him into the pub either, but Rachel told him where to get off.

"You don't get to tell me where I take my son," she seethed.

"No. I just fund it," he snapped back.

Typical, that. He was the one who offered, and he was the one who'd promised to stay out of their lives but – oh no, it's a lot different in reality, isn't it mate? I don't blame Jai for being in bits over it though. That baby looks the spit of him, doesn't he? Such a cutie!

Rachel's no 'slapper', but Charity will be!

Rachel Emmerdale y   27th January 2012It would be nice for Rachel and Sam to get together though. Sam'd certainly like it, but I reckon Rachel would rather have Jai. She might well have had him too – if Charity had put two and two together after she'd slapped him (Rachel's no slapper, but she gave him a right whack, didn't she?!), but the normally razor-sharp Charity – surprisingly – didn't twig what was really going on right under her nose.

Give it time. She'll get there in the end, and we can't wait until she does! I love Charity, so am always happy to see her on-screen – no matter what she's doing (apart from when she's being mean to Edna).

Who gets the booby prize?

Eric Emmerdale y   27th January 2012Alicia's chest was attracting quite a bit of attention this week. Eric's eyes were on the prize.

"Go wearing that and you won't be needing any luck," he remarked – staring at her puppies appreciatively (before slipping on Val's puppy's pee!).

"Why? Cos Megan likes boobs?" Alicia questioned. Nice one!

It wasn't just Eric either. Priya found herself gazing at Alicia's assets' (hard not to, I suppose?) in her interview outfit. Alicia was looking at Priya's clothes too.

Priya Alisha Emmerdale y   27th January 2012"I was worried they were looking for a nanny," she observed.

"Why?" Priya asked.

"Well, what with you coming as Mary Poppins," Alica explained.

"As opposed to Mary Popout?" Priya retorted.

Kerching! Nice one! There's nothing I like more than a bit of witty bitchy banter, and the excellent Emmerdale writers never disappoint!

'The Loud Girls'?

Megan1 Emmerdale y   27th January 2012I'm surprised that they weren't able to get any suitably-qualified candidates for the job though (as neither Alicia or Priya could really be deemed to have the right 'skill set', could they?) although if I'd realised I was going to be working with Nicola (and having her sat there looking down her nose at me) I'd have been desperate to get the hell out of there, and would have only bothered hanging around in order to enjoy a few minutes of sitting opposite The Smile!

I don't even know why Megan would have had Nicola there. She's hardly blessed with 'people skills', and after being caught out at Alicia's interview:

Nicola: "List some weaknesses."

Alicia: "Mine, or yours?" she was determined not to be shown up a second time.

Emmerdale Emmerdale y   27th January 2012"List some weaknesses … of yours," she asked pointedly.

"An intolerance of clichéd interview questions," Priya replied snootily.

Honestly. If I'd have been The Smile I'd have sent both Nicola and Priya packing and brought somebody completely new in (as long as it wasn't just an opportunity for Dom's ex wife to suddenly arrive in the Village too!).

Look at the candidates. The two on the right looked far more suitable, but don't you think they'd make a great girl band? (They've even got the ginger one!) Move over Little Mix and Girls Aloud!

Carry On Cancelling

Robbie1 Emmerdale y   27th January 2012It's such a carry-on up there. They're all cooped up in that one tiny corner (battery chickens would complain about the lack of space!); when they're not cancelling meetings they're being rude to each other, and as for Robbie: that lad doesn't know when he's well off.

Declan offered him a job (again) this week, but after he told him to stand in for Sam he got all stroppy and ended up leaving. What exactly did he think he'd be doing, working for an Events business on an Estate? It's the sort of job where you have to muck in (or muck out) and do whatever's necessary, but Robbie clearly wasn't happy at not going in as MD so left to work … on a farm.

Funny, aye, and here's the rest of our Grins of The Week:

Charity (about Val and Alicia): "What are they laughing at? Someone died?"

Nicola Emmerdale y   27th January 2012

Nicola (as Megan took her coffee): "That was for me."

The Smile: "Excellent use of the past tense."

Rachel (about Sam): "Just because he doesn't run his own company."

Jai: "He couldn't run a tap."

Priya: "I haven't said yes yet."

Nicola: "Don't try haggling. It's a job, not a handbag. We're not in Morocco."

Lisa: "Do you want a brew?"

Rishi Emmerdale y   27th January 2012Luke: "That'd be amazing."

Lisa: "Oh, would it now?"

Belle: "I keep telling mum about our place. It's such an 'epic fail'."

Rishi (Mr S): "Your brother is not in a very good place."

Nikhil: "Accrington?"

Mr S: "What?"

Lisa (to a grumpy Jai): "Did I mention how thrilled we are to have you back?(!)"

PS

IMG 1450 Emmerdale y   27th January 2012* Did they run out of room on this sign, or is it just bad spelling?

* Vanessa told Alicia she wasn't really looking for a husband. Another clue about her sexuality, perhaps?

* Nicola's tongue's as sharp as a knife, but I love her to bits & wish I could be half as forthright as her sometimes!

Lisa Emmerdale y   27th January 2012* Don't you just love Lisa? I've met her twice now and had a kiss and a hug both times. She's everything you'd want a mum to be, isn't she? Belle's very lucky!

* Did you hear Moira's brass bed creaking when she and Cain were sitting on it? Blimey, you'd certainly be in no doubts as to when she was 'entertaining a gentleman caller'!

* Apologies for the lateness of this post. My dad's needing more and more attention by the day so everything else is just being pushed back, I'm afraid.

CLICK HERE TO GO TO THE EMMERDALE HOMEPAGE

Got a comment? Why not add one below or tweet me before Wednesday afternoon (@janereynolds8) so that I can talk about it on 'Jane's Soapy Corners' live on Tellyspy at 6.00 pm on Wednesday nights.

Queen Vic Corner – 27th January 2013

EastEnders logo e1337598881632 Queen Vic Corner   27th January 2013You can hear me talking Soaps 10.45-11.15 am every Thursday; 4.00-5.00 pm Fridays on Swindon 1055.com CLICK HERE TO LISTEN and on my internet Soap Show 6.00-6.30 pm Wednesdays on Tellyspy. CLICK HERE TO LISTEN

Tanya throws Max out, Zainab's leaving and Phil's going on holiday. Please can he take Dot with him?

Screen Shot 2013 01 27 at 09.45.59 Queen Vic Corner   27th January 2013Ok. Brace yourselves: I thought Monday's and Tuesday's episodes were fantastic. There, I've said it! I watched both of them back-to-back on Tuesday night and was absolutely transfixed the whole way through.

I always give praise where it's due, and Tanya (of course!), Max and Kirsty – as well as the rest of the family – acted their socks off.

"Look him in the eye and watch him lie," Kirsty told Tanya, and lie he did, but as Kirsty prepared to leave Max suddenly revealed that he did have feelings for her, so Tanya slung him out.

IMG 1442 Queen Vic Corner   27th January 2013Anyone who's been in that situation (apart from the bit where they find out their partner's actually secretly married to the other person – which IS rather unusual!) will know just how devastating it is for someone to tell you that they want to be with 'the other person' and not you, and it's only natural that Tanya would say that she still loves him.

Loving them doesn't change anything though. Unless they love you back you're better off out of it (no matter how painful it is at the time), and CC needs to give her daughter a talking-to and make sure she's 'kicked him to the kerb' once and for all.

Why choose burger when you've got fillet steak?

Screen Shot 2013 01 27 at 09.47.53 Queen Vic Corner   27th January 2013I was surprised to see Max nonchalantly tell Jack that he pretty much expected to be back home by the end of the week. The man's a serial liar, so what was the point of him suddenly telling Tanya 'the truth' like that, and if he'd told Tanya he wanted to be with Kirsty, then why didn't he simply call her mobile and tell her to either come back, or ask her where she'd gone so that he could join her?

Doesn't make sense, but then a lot of stuff on EastEnders doesn't make sense these days, does it – least of all Max choosing Kirsty over the gorgeous Tanya, but there we go!

IMG 1427 Queen Vic Corner   27th January 2013"I should have done this weeks ago, shouldn't I, instead of staying in, wondering if my husband was having an affair with  … his, other wife?" Tanya announced during her little celebration in Bootie's.

Screen Shot 2013 01 27 at 10.22.24 Queen Vic Corner   27th January 2013Such a brilliant expression on her face after she said 'other', and my other favourite Walford resident, Zainab, was on fine form with her own face-pulling this week, especially during her interview for the Regional Manager's job and the bit about the memory loss!

Don't leave me, Zee

I can't bear the thought of Zainab leaving, but it's all leading somewhere I guess, and with Masood and Ayesha getting closer I'm assuming she'll either get the job and be away a lot (enabling them to have an affair) or find them having an affair and leave?

IMG 1440 Queen Vic Corner   27th January 2013Why can't Dot leave? Why did she ever come back? I much preferred it when I didn't have to watch her dragging on a fag; have to endure her desperately boring washing machine dramas, and listen to her increasingly ridiculous mispronunciations of Mr Papadopoulos's name.

That joke wore thin years ago, love, and speaking of jokes (no, not Cousin ITT and Morgan's hair), it's time for our Grins of the Week, and we've actually got TWO!

IMG 1439 Queen Vic Corner   27th January 2013Zee: "You should be hoping I get this promotion."

AJ: "Why? Longer hours, is it?"

Sharon: "You should have seen some of the horrors I've had."

CC: "We have: Phil."

PS

* There's always usually a blindingly-obvious link between the acting and the background songs in EastEnders' Appropriate/Inappropriate Music in the Background, but I was stumped by 'Daydream Believer' playing in the R&R. That is one song you'd never expect to hear in a club (or disco, as my generation call them!) in a hundred years!

* The Social Worker said that they could pay for Lola to visit Lexi while she was on holiday in Devon with Phil. The DSS would pay for that? You've got to be kidding me, surely?

* Joey got 'Best Newcomer' at the NTAs this week. I'm sure he's a lovely lad (and is certainly easy on the eye – if that's your cup of tea), but Joey is a very one-dimensional character (broody, sulky young man – usual EastEnders thing), and if you compare the demands of his character's storylines to those of Corrie's Kirsty, many people would argue that there IS no comparison …

What's your opinion? If you agree (or disagree!) with anything I've written this week, come and tell me why on 'Jane's Soapy Corners', LIVE on Tellyspy between 6.00-6.30 pm every Wednesday night!

CLICK HERE TO GO TO THE EASTENDERS' HOMEPAGE

 

Corrie Corner – 27th January 2013


Corrie roof logo e1341149395169 Corrie Corner   27th January 2013(You can hear me talking Soaps 10.45-11.15 am every Thursday, from 4.00-5.00 pm Fridays on Swindon 105.5 FM CLICK HERE TO LISTEN and on my internet Soap Show 6.00-6.30 pm every Wednesday on @Tellyspy CLICK HERE TO LISTEN

Curse-ty's scary; Lewis is scared; Tyrone's not afraid any more and Rob should be very afraid!

Kirsty Soames Corrie Corner   27th January 2013Curse-ty was aghast that Tyrone said he didn't want to be with her any more. "I hadn't hit you in over a month. That's because I was happy," she cried incredulously – as if that somehow exonerated her behaviour!

Why on earth didn't Tyrone or Fiz back up their phones though, or make sure there that were copies of the photos of Ty's injuries somewhere?

Yes, ok, it wouldn't be much a storyline if they had, but it's still a cracking storyline, isn't it?

When you want to chuck your TV remote at the screen, or sit there chuntering to yourself about how wicked someone is then you know they're playing a great part, and Curse-ty's certainly doing that.

Even Ruby's hair's scared

The most unbelievable thing though, is seeing the people who've known Tyrone for years taking her side over his, especially Eileen, who was in a similar situation herself with FP's wife Lesley attacking HER not so very long ago. There's barely a character in Soapland who hasn't been wrongly accused of something at some point but (like with childbirth) they soon forget, don't they?

Ruby bald Corrie Corner   27th January 2013Ruby Hair Corrie Corner   27th January 2013Curse-ty and Tyrone both seem to have forgotten that their baby had a full head of hair last week but is as bald as a coot this week. Talk about being affected by your situation. What with living in that war zone and all that carry on in the Church, little Ruby's hair will be growing back white at this rate!

It's all looking like pretty compelling evidence against Tyrone, but just how far will Curse-ty go? It's a shame Fiz wasn't recording their conversation on Friday night as she'd have had her well and truly 'banged to rights', but it'll be all the sweeter now when she does eventually get found out, as to blatantly lie to the police like that is just terrrible.

Call the Police. Kirsty's been robbed

Poor Tyrone. Alan Halsall's played a brilliant part as the bullied partner of a psychopath (and was rightly rewarded for it at the NTAs this week), but you have to question as to why the 'Best Newcomer' Award didn't go to Natalie Gumede. Comparing EastEnders' Joey's contribution with that of Curse-ty's is like trying to compare dust with gold dust.

Chesney Corrie Corner   27th January 2013You can't, and the only saving grace was that at least Corrie got 'Best Serial Drama'. Anyway, back to the story.

"Ty is a good man who's ended up in a terrible situation," Fiz tried to explain to Ches.

"That is exactly what you said about Stape," he replied. He's got a point there!

Poor John. He didn't mean to become a Serial killer; it just happened, but the difference between him and Tyrone is that John did bump a few people off, whereas the worst Tyrone's ever done has been to try and defend himself against a monster.

Still, we know that it'll all come good in the end, but it's not over yet – not by a long chalk.

Down, Gail, down

Gail Lewis Corrie Corner   27th January 2013The same's true of Gail's liaison with Lewis. She's another one being duped by a liar, and is about to borrow against the equity on her house to fly off to Italy with the silver-tongued rogue. Gail's that sex-starved she'd do anything, and she's all-but rubbing herself up against him like a frisky pup! Talk about being 'on heat', and it looks as if even the ice-cold Jenna might be warming to the idea of a bit of romance with Sophie.

Spring's coming, and you never know; Jenna might even manage to 'come out' before we hear the first cuckoo.

Owen's dark side came out on Friday when he roughed Faye's dad up in the street. Poor Tim. He seems like a really nice bloke, and certainly didn't deserve that. I'm very curious to see where this one goes. Is he a nice bloke, or is there more to him than meets the eye, and does this mean he'll end up taking Fay(te worse than death) away from Anna?

Lust is in the air

Tracy Rob Corrie Corner   27th January 2013Someone who isn't a nice bloke is Rob, but a 'match made in hell' seems to be taking shape nicely this week. Tracy only needs to share the same air as a bloke and she's dusting off the wedding dress, but wasn't that some great chemistry between them over the taxi ride, aye?

I loved their scenes together this week (and with Steve, of course). Get the pair of them together, and quick. She'll walk all over him and he'll be happy to let her! Ooh, I can't wait for more. It'll be hilarious, and speaking of which – here's our Grins of the Week:

Tracy: If you were a gentleman then you would get out."

Rob: "If you were a lady, I might think about it."

Sally: Can I have a word?"

Mandy: "You can have a whole sentence if you want."

PS

Steve Corrie Corner   27th January 2013* Steve's definitely had the same makeover as Peter. He looks positively hunky (very George Clooney). It's a shame (but lucky for us) that he always spoils it the second he opens his mouth by being a total prat though!

Kirsty2 Corrie Corner   27th January 2013* I walked into the kitchen the other day and Loose Women happened to be on and who was on it than none-other than the girl herself. I couldn't believe how different she looked. SO fresh-faced, and the total opposite of her hard-nosed character.

* The Police ought to borrow Jeremy Kyle's lie detector kit. That'd soon sort Curse-ty out. Oh, hang on; they'd never let her on: she's still got all her own teeth!

scream Corrie Corner   27th January 2013Fiz Corrie Corner   27th January 2013* In the real world, one call to Nick's supplier would have had those 500 jars of olives back on that van and on their way back to where they came from.

* 'Ere. You know that painting: Edvard Munch's 'The Scream'?

* Apologies for the lateness of this post. My dad's needing more and more attention by the day so everything else is just being pushed back, I'm afraid.

Got a comment on anything I've talked about this week? Tell me what YOU think in a comment below; tweet me before Wednesday afternoon or call in to 'Jane's Soapy Corners' live on Tellyspy between 6.00-6.30 pm on Wednesday nights so that I can put your points across to my listener on the show!

CLICK HERE TO GO TO THE CORONATION STREET HOMEPAGE

Carchelle Corner – 27th January 2013

IMG 1526 Carchelle Corner   27th January 2013We've not had much #carchelle this week, have we – so there's not a lot to say, but we Carla/Michelle fans can always find something to mull over, can't we?

I was interested in this exchange between Peter and Carla in the pub.

"It's always the quiet ones you've got to watch," he proclaimed sanctimoniously.

"Do you have to be so judgemental?" she snapped back.

IMG 1517 Carchelle Corner   27th January 2013Significant? Time will tell, but we're just waiting for Peter and Carla to hurry up and split up so that we can get cracking with #carchelle!

That's it, I'm afraid. Nothing else of note really. Let's see what this week brings shall we, but I've just put this picture up of them in Church. Shame that Peter had to be sat in the middle …

Just Good Friends 200w order e1358617060420 Carchelle Corner   27th January 2013If you love the thought of Carla and Michelle getting together then you'll probably really like my novel 'Just Good Friends?'

It's the story of close friends Ruth and Helen, whose drunken kiss leads to a whole lot more! It's available as a paperback on Amazon and to download on all eReader formats (and at the new, low price of only £2.99).

With Valentine's Day coming up soon, what better gift to present to your partner (or the woman of your dreams!) than a romantic novel with a REAL twist that'll keep any #carchelle-lover happy?

Jane Reynolds's Weekly Blog – 20th January 2013

IMG 1165 Jane Reynoldss Weekly Blog   20th January 2013Here's a snowy Swindon (the view from my bedroom window on Sunday morning).

Apart from half a day last Saturday (12th), I haven't been to my office since 19th December as my dad's cancer kicking-in coincided with Christmas and I've barely left the house for a month now.

It all got a bit much last week and I had a bit of a meltdown on the 10th, but once I'd stopped crying and we'd started my brother's proper rota system on Monday this week, things picked up considerably.

Between us, we're all doing a fixed stint each day which means that when we're not 'on duty' we're able to go about our business 'guilt-free'.

It's working really well, and although I've still barely left the house this week it's meant that I've been able to shut myself upstairs to write this week's blog secure in the knowledge that my dad's in good hands downstairs.

He's not had a good week. Without going into details, let's just say that he's deteriorated further, and that he's not happy at still being alive. Each day he's saying that he wants to die and that why can't we just let him die?

The various nurses and carers who have been in and out of the house most days all feel that same, and yet they're compelled by law to keep him alive.

I'm SO grateful for the help and support we're getting, but SURELY the Council's limited resources would be FAR better spent on helping people who WERE likely to recover than people with terminal cancer who are asking to die and for whom there is no hope?

As from Monday, we're getting two carers to come in for half an hour morning and night to attend to his personal needs, as he's so weak now that he's unable to even sit up unaided. Even though he's skin and bone he's a 'dead' weight, and we can't lift him or even pull him up in bed properly without the risk of hurting either him or ourselves. So sad.

IMG 1151 Jane Reynoldss Weekly Blog   20th January 2013Friday's snow put a spanner in the works a bit (here's the view looking up the Crescent from my bedroom window late on Friday afternoon), and it led to an emergency re-jigging of my ironing work so that I didn't have to go out on Friday.

I normally clean Mr and Mrs S's office between 6.00 and 7.30 am on a Friday morning, but if I'd gone I'd have ended up being stranded as it's up a long country lane and the snow came down so quickly and heavily that Swindon pretty-much ground to a halt within the space of an hour.

Gremlins in Tellyspy's works forced the cancellation on Wednesday's Soapy Corners Live; having to do Friday's work on Thursday meant that I wasn't able to do my Soapy Spot on Alastair Greener's show, and Swindon being under a blanket of snow meant that Paul and I were unable to get to the Station to do our show at 4.00 on Friday afternoon, so I didn't do ANY radio broadcasting last week!

Hopefully this week will be a bit less dramatic. It's a case of taking each day as it comes at the moment with my dad, and – combined with the bad weather – it all makes for a bit of a challenge, but having the rota's made things 100% easier to cope with, so let's hope this next week goes ok.

I'll be doing my Soapy Spot on Alastair Greener's Big Mid-morning show from 10.45-11.15 on Thursday and co-presenting my TGI Friday show with Paul Dawkins from 4.00-5.00 pm on Friday; both on Swindon 1055.com, and 'Jane's Soapy Corners' are LIVE as usual from 6.00-6.30 pm every Wednesday night on Tellyspy.

'Jane's Soapy Corners' have also gone digital. Simply download the Podcasts App onto your iPhone or iPad then search for Tellyspy and they're all there.

Have a good week everyone.

Corrie Corner – 20th January 2013


Corrie roof logo e1341149395169 Corrie Corner   20th January 2013(You can hear me talking Soaps 10.45-11.15 am every Thursday, from 4.00-5.00 pm Fridays on Swindon 105.5 FM CLICK HERE TO LISTEN and on my internet Soap Show 6.00-6.30 pm every Wednesday on @Tellyspy CLICK HERE TO LISTEN

Tyrone wants to keep his baby; Tina wants to keep Izzy's baby; Fiz has forgotten she's got a baby, and Mary's mothering Roy.

IMG 1278 Corrie Corner   20th January 2013If you don't want your husband to find out you've done a pregnancy test it's probably best not to put the evidence in the bin, is it?

In a REAL kitchen bin you'd have had soggy tea bags and all sorts of gruesome food slops, but the contents of Gail's bin dropped neatly to the floor so that David was able to clearly see that thin blue line without having to wipe half a pot of mouldy old yoghurt off it first!

After a week of feeling damned if she did and damned if she didn't Kylie decided to keep the baby, but it'll be an anxious moment when it pops out and she's able to look and see which brother it resembles.

It shouldn't be difficult to guess. If they're able to pull it out by its ears then it's Nick's; simple!

Corrie? Nappy Alley, more like

Coronation Street's going to be overrun with babies within the next few months. They'll be needing to open a creche or something, as the kiddies are going to have to go somewhere while their parents are off gallivanting around the place as if they're young, free and single, aren't they?

Tina Corrie Corner   20th January 2013You'd be forgiven for forgetting that Fiz has got a child. Poor little Hopeless is harder to spot than the Invisible Man, and when was the last time we saw Joseph? We've seen more of Tina's baby over the last couple of months than we have of those two – and that one's not even born yet.

Do you get the feeling that Tina's starting to bond with it though? She definitely looked to have a bad case of 'lingering/wistful looks' in that hospital, didn't she? Ooh, that'd be a good tug of love/custody case, wouldn't it? I wonder if that's what's going to happen? Hope so!

Sure you're doing the right thing, Ty?

Tyrone Fiz Corrie Corner   20th January 2013Tyrone's determination to hang on to baby Ruby (goodness knows why with those psycho genes) is the reason he's going through with the wedding to Curse-ty, but I've read a fair bit of criticism over the fact that there's lots of other ways he could have got custody rather than having to marry her, and that starting the affair was also a stupid thing to do.

This is a Soap though, and it wouldn't have been much of a storyline if he hadn't, would it? I don't suppose there's many of us out there who don't know what's going to happen (as it's been all over the media) but – once again – you have to hand it to Natalie Gumede for her performance as Curse-ty this week (not forgetting Tryone and Fiz too, of course!).

She's behind you!

Kirsty1 Corrie Corner   20th January 2013It was a wonderful touch to see Curse-ty's hands shaking at the party as she read the texts (I'm surprised they were so polite – and not full of dirty 'sex' talk, weren't you?), and totally chilling to see her lean over and kiss Fiz's cheek after she'd invited her to the party.

Tyrone Kirsty Corrie Corner   20th January 2013I was on the verge of almost feeling a bit sorry for her as she was clearly absolutely devastated (and who wouldn't be?), but that only lasted for a moment when I was reassured to see (and hear) her screaming with rage and frustration as she threw the photo frame and sunk to the floor at the end of Friday's second episode.

Poor Tyrone. He thinks that she hadn't found the phone. Oh, how wrong he is, and how he's going to be made to pay. Bring it on. Monday can't come soon enough!

Hayle Mary

Mary Hayley Corrie Corner   20th January 2013We found out this week that Julie Hesmondhaugh's going to be hanging up her red raincoat as Hayley.

I don't blame her. There's only so far that she and Roy could ever have gone together as neither could ever have an affair (not counting Tracy's claim that she'd slept with Roy that time!), so they've pretty-much done it all now, haven't they?

It can't be much of a challenge for an actor to simply turn up each week just for a few lines here and there, can it, and after this week's scenes with Mary I get the sense (and certainly hope) that they're already lining her up as a replacement for Hayley. They've got such a lot in common, and it would make a very sweet ending for the broken-hearted Roy to find happiness again with the lonely and equally-unique Mary.

Roy Mary Corrie Corner   20th January 2013Did you notice how Roy involuntarily flinched when Mary leaned towards him when she offered him a massage? It's those tiny little details and nuances of David Neilson's which make Roy such a marvellous character.

The same is true of Patti Clare, who has that incredible balance between the sinister and the hilarious which makes Mary so fascinating to watch.

Both of them are very clever and very funny actors, and there's a LOT of both comedy and poignant mileage to be had from pairing them up. That's something I'll be hoping for and looking forward to in the future.

I wouldn't look too smug if I were you, Rob …

Michelle Corrie Corner   20th January 2013I'm also hoping that something will happen between Carla and Michelle in the not-too-distant future too, and the way Michelle looked at Carla when she learned that she'd made Rob a partner gave me a bit more optimism that we might be seeing some developments in that department before too long.

I can't believe that Carla would have even taken Rob's rival operation seriously though. How on earth would Carla's customers have been so naive as to sign contracts with Rob when he had no track record, no premises and no staff? He's way too smug by half, that bloke.

Rob Corrie Corner   20th January 2013The more I see of him, the more I dislike him, but as the fate of any male boss at Underworld seems to be an untimely death within the year, I hope we won't have to put up with his smarmy gloating for too long now!

There's more for Carla and Michelle fans to enjoy in Carchelle Corner, and here's our Grins of the Week for all you one-liner fans:

Mary: "I had an Aunt: Milly. Well, Mildred, but she thought it made her sound like a spinster headmistress, which – of course – she was."

Curse-ty: "Don't be nervous; I don't bite."

Fiz: "I wouldn't put it past you."

Izzy: "If you had a rotten name like Florence Bigbum, you'd want to change it."

Sean: "I think I know her."

PS

* Hope you caught Mary's tip of using (about half a cup) of washing powder in water on a burned pan? My mum taught me that one and it really works. Just leave it to gently simmer on the hob for about ten minutes and it should be good as new. (If not, leave it for a little longer or tip it out and do it again with fresh powder.)

Sean Corrie Corner   20th January 2013* Dev said that Sunita was the mother of his children. Ooh, why do I always find that such a sexy and romantic line?

* "Well, Lewis. I wouldn't say no to a cocktail," Sean winked. I'll bet you wouldn't, you dirty boy!

* AS IF Rob would have known whether a wine was corked or not! God, he's so 'up himself', and if it HAD been corked, Carla would certainly have known and have already sent it back.

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Carchelle Corner – 20th January 2013

Spotted the new name?

IMG 1329 Carchelle Corner   20th January 2013Yes, I've decided (after a bit of feedback from my question last week) to change the name from Carla Corner to Carchelle Corner, as anyone who's reading this is – presumably – of the same mindset as me and just waiting and hoping for Carla and Michelle to get together as a couple?

IMG 1320 Carchelle Corner   20th January 2013We've had a few little bursts of #carchelle activity this week, and the eagle-eyed amongst us will have spotted that Carla got hold of Michelle's arm when they left the factory on Friday (that's the best picture I could get of it), and that Michelle has continued to look adoringly at her boss/friend across the office desk for the best part of the week!

The most interesting bit for #carchelle-watchers though, was when Michelle found out that Carla had not only taken Rob back, but had made him a partner in Underworld.

Just when they'd got all cosy again, too

IMG 1348 Carchelle Corner   20th January 2013Was that a bit of jealousy in Michelle's eyes at the thought of it not just being the two of them any more? Ooh, we certainly hope so, don't we, and with Rob being such a prize prat I can envisage him a) not realising what's starting to happen right under his nose as the two grow closer (partly in solidarity against him) and b) completely freaking out when he DOES eventually find out that they're together.

IMG 1318 Carchelle Corner   20th January 2013HOW good would that be? It would make for a brilliant storyline (it'd be brilliant anyway, we already know that!) for the two women to be 'as one' (in more ways than one!) and united – as a couple – against him.

It could lead to all sorts of interesting scenarios – not least that it'd hopefully see him leaving, but trying to ruin them/the business on his way out by telling all their clients that they were lesbians.

'Carchelle Enterprises' run Underworld?

Rob's the sort of bloke (like Kevin) who'd probably think that it would actually harm Carla's business to be 'outed' as a lesbian, but (as Kevin also seems to have failed to grasp) this is the 21st Century, and ROB would be the one who'd end up looking foolish and chauvinistic as Carla and Michelle proudly declared their love to the world and actually ended up gaining business from it.

IMG 1302 Carchelle Corner   20th January 2013IMG 1307 Carchelle Corner   20th January 2013Ah, yes. There's so much scope and so many possibilities with this storyline and – as Steve seems to be channelling Peter now too, is that another good omen for all of us #carchelle-watchers, maybe?

Didn't we love Michelle's line to Rob: "Oh no, darling. We're not girls – we're women."

Yummy. Let's have more of that next week please, and let's just get on and get Peter and Carla split up soon so that we can get cracking with #carchelle.

Just Good Friends 200w order e1358617060420 Carchelle Corner   20th January 2013If you love the thought of Carla and Michelle getting together then you'll probably really like my novel 'Just Good Friends?'

It's the story of close friends Ruth and Helen, whose drunken kiss leads to a whole lot more and is available as a paperback on Amazon and to download on all eReader formats (and at the new, low price of only £2.99).

With Valentine's Day coming up soon, what better gift to present to your partner (or the woman of your dreams!) than a romantic novel with a REAL twist to keep any #carchelle-lover happy?

Emmerdale-y – 20th January 2012

Emmerdale logo2012 Emmerdale y   20th January 2012You can hear me talking Soaps 10.45-11.15 am on Thursdays, 4.00-5.00 pm Fridays on Swindon 1055.com CLICK HERE TO LISTEN, and on my LIVE internet Soap Show 6.00-6.30 pm every Wednesday on Tellyspy. CLICK HERE TO LISTEN

Priya and Alicia are bitching; Rhona & Vanessa are teasing; Debbie's flirting, and Charity and Cain are sizzling.

Debbie Emmerdale y   20th January 2012Debbie's gone over to the dark side (in more ways than one) this week. I don't really like her as a brunette: it makes her look hard, but as she's suddenly turned hard this week I guess that's all part of the package? (It also gives her a look of Corrie's Kylie too, don't you think?)

To be honest, she seems to have had a complete personality transplant, and it's a bit of a stretch to see her suddenly going from having been so protective over Sarah for the last year to being more interested in business than caring for her recovering daughter and precious new baby son.

Taking on a drugs operation's not only foolish but extremely risky, and throwing herself at Dom (whatever her motives) doesn't really show her in a very good light, frankly, does it?

She's sleeping with him already too – leaving Andy to look after the children overnight. Hmm. Not exactly very 'Earth Mother', is it?

'Charley's' Angels

On the plus side though, it means we're getting a storyline involving both Debbie and her mum and dad – which is always a good thing as they're brilliant together. Their relationship is SO convincing, and the three of them are a joy to watch.

Cain Charity Emmerdale y   20th January 2012Charity and Cain still sizzle with a sexual chemistry which just refuses to go away, and the way they're so protective over Debbie is both funny and touching.

"What's she doing?" Cain growled; glaring at her flirting with Dom.

"Do you want me to draw you a little picture? Do you?" Charity teased.

It must be really hard for Cain to watch his daughter blatantly throwing herself at a man like that (especially as he's another one who's way too old for her), but Charity's the opposite: she's positively encouraging Debbie to 'get back in the saddle'!

Something to smile about

Megan Emmerdale y   20th January 2012It looked as if The Smile had blown it with Declan (again) after Robbie forced her to transfer the money, but it ended in smiles all round after they agreed to make a fresh start.

I'm pleased about that. I love Megan and don't want her to leave, but I DO want Robbie to put his face straight and stop being such a little stirrer. He can't seem to stop himself from trying to wind people up, can he?

Robbie Declan Emmerdale y   20th January 2012"Got to hand it to her. Even on those sticks she 'gets about'," he needled Deccers on Monday, but it didn't seem to have had the desired effect, as Katie and Declan suddenly shared a laugh together on Friday and he grabbed her hand and said that he knew they could make it if they tried.

Right, well that's the end of that one then, and I suppose they'll now go on to live 'happily ever after' (well, for a while at least)?

'Vet's be friends'?

Vanessa Rhona Emmerdale y   20th January 2012Rhona and Paddy don't look like a couple who are going to be living happily ever after, as Vanessa's influence on Rhona clearly seems to be affecting their marriage. Vanessa's starting to finding her feet now, and I reckon she's not only a great character, but one with a lot of potential.

It's so funny to watch the pair of them ganging-up on Paddy and treating him as if he's simply a figure of fun (which he IS, I suppose?), but they're actually quite rude (and a bit hurtful), and it's interesting how Rhona's just as guilty as Vanessa in teasing her husband – and never defends him against Vanessa.

Vanessa and Rhona Emmerdale y   20th January 2012"He won't mind, and if he does I'll tell him he doesn't," Rhona laughed as she offered his services in Vanessa's attempt to win the bet over Edna.

That's not the way you should really think and talk about your new husband, is it? You know I'm always on the lookout for a good lesbian storyline, but I'd love it if Rhona and Vanessa were to have 'a thing'.

They'd make a great couple. They're clearly very close; have great chemistry, and two professional women together would certainly steal an unexpected march on my campaign for Corrie's Carla and Michelle (#carchelle) to get together! #rhovan? #vanrhon? Just a thought …

Settle down now, girls

Speaking of relationships; how good is the David/Alicia/Priya lurrve triangle to watch? Alicia would do anything for David, and it must be taking all her strength not to fly at Priya who – equally – looks as if she's ready for a fight to the death for her man. Their sniping's hilarious – especially the bit where Priya 'complimented' Alicia on her shoes.

Priya Emmerdale y   20th January 2012

Alicia Emmerdale y   20th January 2012"I was thinking about getting some like that … strappy," she mused.

"Yeah? Well you need the right feet otherwise they can look a little bit … trotterish," Alicia shot back. Great stuff!

David's stuck in the middle and is making a right pig's ear of handling the whole thing – as usual.

"I know sometimes I might make paint look clever, but are you hiding something?" he asked Vic on Tuesday, and that just about sums him up. David's a really nice, sweet guy, but just can't help but get himself into a pickle time after time with the ladies. Perhaps he should get Cain to give him a few lessons on how be a selfish get and only think about himself!

I'd felt a bit mean last week for saying that I didn't think Jake was quite up to handling a big storyline, but after this week's episodes I now feel justified in my comments (which were purely objective and not made lightly), as – once again – he delivered many of his lines unconvincingly which (although I still feel mean for mentioning it) unfortunately, really detracted from the drama for me.

Moira Emmerdale y   20th January 2012We had some Good Drinking From a Takeaway Cup from Debbie, but Moira must have an asbestos mouth as she took her takeaway coffee from Bob and immediately took a massive swig.

I don't know about you, but I've never had a takeaway coffee anywhere where I haven't had to leave it for a good ten minutes – at least – before being able to take the first sip, or run the risk of burning my gizzard!

There's been some lovely, and very witty writing this week (including Nicola's casual, "Hello, smelly," to the horse at the stables and The Smile's, "My way of saying Thanks and Sorry: Thorry!" to Declan), and here's the rest of our Grins of The Week:

Jimmy: "Sorry about him. His head's all over the place at the minute."

Cain: Yeah? Well if he comes near here again, so will yours be."

Paddy: "Edna's never been one to suffer fools gladly."

Vanessa: "Unlike Rhona, then?"

Charity Emmerdale y   20th January 2012Jimmy Emmerdale y   20th January 2012Jimmy: "Never mix business with pleasure."

Charity: "Who in their right mind would ever take advice from you?" Bit harsh, there, girl!

Katie: "Do you ever get bored of yourself?"

Robbie: "No."

Paddy: "You can … mock all you like."

Vanessa: "I will."

Cain (about Dom): "What's he playing at? He was sniffing around Moira at New Year."

Charity: "So what? He didn't know that you were, you know … harvesting her field."

Val (to Alicia): "So. A pretend marriage. How did you think it would end: a pretend divorce?"

PS

Rhona Emmerdale y   20th January 2012* Rhona's pointy disease is still showing no sign of improvement, is it?

Robbie Emmerdale y   20th January 2012* Robbie was sporting a bit of a five-o-clock shadow on Wednesday. It was a good look on him!

* Alicia called Priya a "Prissy little madam". Ooh, maybe I should change her name to Prissy Priya instead of Pointless Priya?

* I'm telling you: she's a Peeping Betty," Adam complained to Victoria. "If it wasn't for that BIG shower cap, she'd have seen everything," he exclaimed. Ooh, you little showoff!

David1 Emmerdale y   20th January 2012* Remember how I used to call David Hairy David when he had all that fluff round his chops? Well, it's back, so it's Hairy David again for the forseeable, but this time he's also got the strangest haircut too. It looks like he's got a cornish pasty on his head. The sooner he grows that one out, the better – as far as I'm concerned. He's such a good-looking guy but does spoil himself with some extremely unusual hairstyles from time to time!

Alicia Emmerdale Emmerdale y   20th January 2012* Blimey. I'll bet the wind was whistling up Alicia's willows when she was filming this scene. It was nearly blowing the plants over, so I hope she had her thermal knickers on underneath that belt!

* Never mind 'Where's Wally?': where's Leo?

* I know Paddy's line about Vanessa "Wanting to get into Edna's knickers" was only a joke, but there's rarely 'smoke without fire' in Soaps, and might that one day turn out to have been a sneaky teensy clue as to what could be coming up with Vanessa and Rhona? If so, then you read it here first. Either that, or it's just my overactive writer's imagination at work again!

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Queen Vic Corner – 20th January 2013

EastEnders logo e1337598881632 Queen Vic Corner   20th January 2013You can hear me talking Soaps 10.45-11.15 am every Thursday; 4.00-5.00 pm Fridays on Swindon 1055.com CLICK HERE TO LISTEN and on my internet Soap Show 6.00-6.30 pm Wednesdays on TellyspyCLICK HERE TO LISTEN

Dot's smoking; Tanya's smokin' hot; Ayesha and Masood are smouldering and Roxy burning with jealousy.

Dot Ian Queen Vic Corner   20th January 2013Oh, Dot's back. That's not something I'll be putting the flags out for I'm afraid. She's another one who's been turned into a parody of herself, and it sickens me to see her lighting up a fag in front of people without even asking them if they mind (which non-smokers DO, even if they're usually too polite to say so).

It's revolting, and there's far too much smoking in both EastEnders and Coronation Street in my opinion. Only Emmerdale (with the exception of Val) is a smoke-free Soap zone. When Dot eventually leaves, let's hope it's with a lung cancer storyline. It's such a preventable death and it would be great for a Soap to have a leading (smoking) character get it as it might just encourage a few folk to stop, perhaps?

Queen Vic Corner? Smoker's Corner, more like

Tanya Max Queen Vic Corner   20th January 2013In the meantime, come on Soaps: why not set an example and let's at least see Max give up, aye? Tanya asked him to this week, didn't she?

How those luscious lips should be expected to kiss that mucky man's mouth when it tastes like an old ashtray (not to mention the smell of stale smoke) I do not know.

CC's as bad. Let's have her and Max both agree to give up as a bet, maybe? Ok. Rant over. Down to business, and let's start with Kirsty.

Crikey, Kirsty. You're a dead ringer for love Roxy

Kirsty EastEnders1 Queen Vic Corner   20th January 2013Roxy Kirsty Queen Vic Corner   20th January 2013I'm sorry, but she SO doesn't look like a 'Kirsty' to me, but I'll tell you who she DOES look like though, and that's Roxy.

Several times this week I've done a double-take when either one's come on-screen. What do you think? Ooh, it's like looking in a mirror …

Roxy Queen Vic Corner   20th January 2013Alfie accidentally called Roxy Kat and she got a bit upset about it, but after so many years together with someone you get so used to saying their name that it's just second nature so she really shouldn't get stressed, should she? She also told Alfie she loved him, and he (reluctantly?) said that he loved her too.

Oh, if only I could believe it was true, but does anyone else think that it's only a matter of time before Kat gets her claws back into him again? Alfie's like a little mouse-y toy that she just picks up and plays with when she's in the mood, but he's simply too stupid (or blind) to realise it.

Let's hope Roxy takes Kirsty's advice and never lets a moment go by where she's not reminding Alfie that she's there and that she's the woman for him now.

Who else wishes she was 'the one'?

Ayesha Masood Queen Vic Corner   20th January 2013Ayesha wishes that she was the woman for Mas. We all know that the wonderful Zainab's leaving. I'd love it to be after finding out that Masood was having an affair with Ayesha, and for the two of them to become a couple and have a baby together (oh, I'm such a big softie!).

I like Mas, but I LOVE Zee, and will be beside myself when she leaves as she's one of the few things that keeps me still watching EastEnders. If Tanya left too, I'm not sure I could carry on (watching, not living).

No disrespect to the others, but those two (along with Janine; er, isn't it about time she was back by now?) are truly in a league of their own.

Oscar's mum deserves an Oscar

Tanya Queen Vic Corner   20th January 2013If Jo Joyner was a film actress she'd be right up there with Meryl Streep (in my opinion). I've never seen anyone cram so much expression and emotion into a performance, and that quality of performance never dips, not even for a minute.

Ere. Why is Phiwl calling himself 'Daddy Phil'? He's Lexi's grandad, ain't he? There's so much wrong with that whole setup it's not even funny.

I was Appropriate/Inappropriate Music in the Background-spotting this week (it was there alright), but I couldn't hear it well enough to identify the toones. Why can't they do what they used to do and have it come up on the subtitles: i.e. '#Poker Face by Lady Gaga plays in background' (or words to that effect)?

Masood Zainab e1358683596499 Queen Vic Corner   20th January 2013Apart from Zee's brilliant facial expressions (which always make me laugh) there's only one and a half Grins of the Week for you to read (which is better than some weeks where there's none, I suppose?):

Zee: "Did AJ have rickets as a child?"

Kim: "I haven't got a bunny up my top, although I have got a couple of puppies." (Only a couple?)

PS

Kirsty Queen Vic Corner   20th January 2013* Max sat down to lunch with Tanya without washing his hands. Dirty boy.

* Is that a 'trout pout' Kirsty's got? I'm no expert on these matters, but that top lip fascinates me.

* No wonder Cousin ITT kept kicking the football at Abi and Lola; the poor lad couldn't see where he was going.

* It was like Peggy Mitchell was in the building when Dot gasped, "Get 'aaht of my 'aahse," to CC on Monday!

Max Oscar Queen Vic Corner   20th January 2013* We got a rare glimpse of the lesser-spotted Oscar this week. Ooh, don't 'ee look like 'is dad?

* Dexter thought that Phil was Lexi's father. Gulp. That's a thought I don't want to have in my head.

If you agree (or disagree!) with anything I've written this week, come and tell me why on 'Jane's Soapy Corners', LIVE on Tellyspy between 6.00-6.30 pm every Wednesday night!

CLICK HERE TO GO TO THE EASTENDERS' HOMEPAGE

Jane Reynolds's Weekly Blog – 13th January 2013

I was determined to get my Soapy Corners out this week and (at 12.45 on Monday) I've finally managed it! It's not been easy, as we've had a challenging week as my father declines further and faster by the day.

He can't even sit up any more, and would be in constant pain now if it weren't for the liquid morphine he's on (he can't swallow tablets now without being immediately sick), and we're also having to give him liquid paracetamol inbetween the morphine doses to help keep the pain at bay.

When we settled him down to sleep last night he said, "I think I might die tonight". He didn't, but I'm not sure he'll last another week, to be honest.

We've started on a proper rota system today which my brother devised so that we can all have a bit of 'guilt-free' time away from the house, or even just from being 'on duty'.

It's enabled me to finish the blog this morning while my brother Michael's done his stint until 2.00, then I'm on from 2-6 today before I start tonight's Monday Soap-watching marathon!

I don't know what we'd have done without the support of the local Prospect Hospice and Cancer nursing teams. I'm only a phonecall away from help, support or advice, and it's been very reassuring for me to know they're there to rely on for help as our father's condition has deteriorated.

He's now in a proper hospital bed in the back room downstairs, and a carer has just been here to wash him and change his sheets, etc. Because he can't sit up any more it's been brilliant for her to be able to just press a button to raise the bed up, and I'm sure it's made it a lot more comfortable for him.

Things are changing almost by the hour now. His breathing started becoming laboured yesterday afternoon, and – as I said – it can only be a matter of time now. Let's see what the week brings, but I'll do my very best to bring you a full Soapy Corner post again next week.

I'll be doing my Soapy Spot on Alastair Greener's Big Mid-morning show from 10.45-11.15 on Thursday and co-presenting my TGI Friday show with Paul Dawkins from 4.00-5.00 pm on Friday; both on Swindon 1055.com, and 'Jane's Soapy Corners' are LIVE as usual from 6.00-6.30 pm every Wednesday night on Tellyspy.

'Jane's Soapy Corners' have also gone digital. Simply download the Podcasts App onto your iPhone or iPad then search for Tellyspy and they're all there.

Have a good week everyone.

Emmerdale-y – 13th January 2012

Emmerdale logo2012 Emmerdale y   13th January 2012You can hear me talking Soaps 10.45-11.15 am on Thursdays, 4.00-5.00 pm Fridays on Swindon 1055.com CLICK HERE TO LISTEN, and on my LIVE internet Soap Show 6.00-6.30 pm every Wednesday on Tellyspy. CLICK HERE TO LISTEN.

Declan feels cheated; Jai's already cheated, Cain's 'Cain', Belle's being a teenage pain, & might it be eventually be wedding bells for Bob and Brenda?

Christmas Catchup

Cameron Dead Emmerdale y   13th January 2012Ok, I know it's a bit like picking over the bones of the dried up old turkey by this point, but as I haven't been able to put a post out since 16th December (because of my father's illness), I just wanted to mention a couple of things.

In my opinion, the 40th Anniversary live episode last October has to have been – without question – the pinnacle of ANY Soap's output during 2012 (maybe even ever?). The work involved in producing a TOTALLY live, hour-long episode was Soapland's greatest achievement to date, and after such perfection there was no way that the Christmas episodes could have ever realistically been expected to come anywhere near close.

What we had was Chas being acquitted of Carl's murder, but – to be fair – we all knew she would be, or it wouldn't have made much of a storyline, would it?

Cameron Emmerdale Emmerdale y   13th January 2012I was disappointed to see Cameron kill again, as unless he now 'does a Carl' (and gets away with it for years), I guess it's inevitable that he's going to be 'found out' and will end up leaving at some point?

As you'll know if you're a regular reader, it's always been my hope to see he and Chas running the Woolpack together (with Diane, of course!), but I can't really see that happening now – especially as his behaviour's becoming so erratic that he'll be in danger of being carted off in a straight jacket by the end of the month if he's not careful (him and me both, at the moment!).

Mind you; he DID suddenly remember to call his son Harry instead of 'mate' for once this week, so maybe he hasn't gone completely gaga quite yet?

So, on to things more current …

All the money in the world can't buy you happiness, and I'm very pleased to see Declan being faced with something he can't control or buy his way out of. I can't really see him as a father to a little baby anyway. He's so self-centred he'd barely be able to cope if Katie wasn't focussing on him 24/7.

Look at him this week: you can see he resents her having female friends, and also can't cope with her being in a wheelchair, although (like Corrie's Sophie Webster) Katie appears to be making a miraculous recovery and is on her feet again already.

Declan Megan Emmerdale y   13th January 2012

He feels cheated; as if this 'wasn't what he signed up for', but life does that to you sometimes, doesn't it, and it's about time someone wiped the smug smile off his face.

Talking of smiles; The Smile's plotting to get her money back and leg it with Robbie. She's doing a great impression of someone who really cares. She's got such a genuine, believable smile that it's no wonder Deccers is trusting her again.

I'll never hurt you again – until the next time!

I doubt Charity will ever trust Jai again if (er, when, more like!) she finds out about baby Archie, especially after their emotional reunion this week and his (famous last) words: "I swear to God I will never, ever hurt you."

Why do people say that, aye, when they KNOW they're lying and know they ARE going to hurt them again (even as the words are coming out of their mouths)? For God's sake, TELL HER man, and put us all out of our misery!

Moira laid it on the line to Cain that there was to be no more messing her about. He agreed, but barely five minutes later was back ignoring her calls and not turning up to dinner!

Moira Cain Emmerdale y   13th January 2012He and Declan ought to get together. They could go around being all 'up themselves' and cutting off their noses to spite their faces, and that way nobody else would have to be involved in their juvenile behaviour.

Moira should have more respect for herself too, and tell Cain to get lost until he can behave like a normal human being. He's an idiot, and fancy telling her to cancel the meeting with 'The Supermarket', just because he'd deigned to want to spend a bit of time with her!

Honestly. If it's not people behaving like two-year-olds, it's people behaving as if they haven't got the sense they were born with.

It's right in front of your face, Bob (literally)

Bob and Brenda just need to twig that they'd make a great couple; Dan needs to stop faffing around with the Brontes and focus on the Geordies (i.e. Kerry,) and Debbie needs to forget about Cameron and get back together with Andy and give those children a proper dad!

Belle Emmerdale Emmerdale y   13th January 2012I'm loving Belle more than ever now she's suddenly turned into a teenager (not very impressed with Gemma though), but I'm not liking Jake The Peg, I'm afraid.

There's some amazing child actors in the Soaps, but I'm sorry to have to say that little Jacob's not quite one of them. He's rather wooden, and often gets the emphasis and inflections in his lines wrong (it's been particularly noticeable at times this week), and only seems to have one facial expression too, poor lamb.

It's like the X Factor. There's lots of average singers on the show, but at that level you need to be better than average. That's my point about Jacob. He's a perfectly good, 'average' child actor, but in a prime-time Soap you need to be at the next level, and if you compare him to Belle for example (who at that age was already brilliant), I just feel that he isn't quite 'up there'.

Everyone's back to work with the post-Christmas blues, so have a smile with our Grins of The Week:

Cain (to Dan): "You'll be polishing that car with your face in a minute."

Nicola Emmerdale Emmerdale y   13th January 2012Georgia (about Molly): "Do you think she looks like me?"

Nikhil: "Yeah. She's got your steely eyes."

Jimmy: "I didn't have the heart (to say no to Chas). Sorry."

Nicola: "You will be."

Steve: "I'm not big on dishonesty."

Chas: "I think you might be with the wrong bird then, love."

Bob (about Dan): "Any openings up there, have you? He's taken root since he's quit the factory."

Nicola: "Nah. There's more chance of us hiring the sausage butty."

PS

Noah Emmerdale Emmerdale y   13th January 2012* Are Noah, EastEnders' Cousin ITT and Corrie's Max cousins? They're all little long-haired blond boys!

* Thank goodness they didn't drag that stalker storyline out. Thomas is like Carl reincarnated though, isn't he? You'd think he was Tom Lister's REAL son!

* Is Rachel starting to want rather more than just a baby with Jai?

* Just wondered how Lizzie is able to place an assortment of sweets into a box when she can't see?

Brenda Bob Emmerdale Emmerdale y   13th January 2012* I thought Bob said, "Nipples over there," but when I replayed it I found it was nibbles. Oh, how I laughed!

* Ah, Brenda reminded us of that great old proverb: "Procrastination is the mother of— " Very profound!

* Brenda said to Bob, "He couldn't even look me in the eye". In that dress, I'm not surprised, love!

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