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Corrie Corner – 12th February 2012

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I was SO glad to finally see Ken put his foot down and tell Peter that ‘No’, he wouldn’t have Simon (again), for the night. Peter tried to make out that Ken was being unreasonable, but it was simply that he just didn’t want his son around, and Simon would also much rather have been with his Grandad than spending the night with that ‘Wicked Witch’ Carla.

He’s been kicking-out, scowling and generally behaving like a real little boy rebelling against his ‘Evil Stepmother’ this week. You can’t blame him. Carla doesn’t know ‘which way is up’ when it comes to children, and her trying to be nice to him only made things worse!

Ok, it’s funny to watch, but when this happens in real life it’s heartbreaking for the children, and Simon’s playing his part SO well. “My mum’s coming home soon; in’t she Grandma?” he asked Deirdre, then shouted angrily, “I asked you a question!” when she didn’t reply. Adults so often just ignore children’s awkward questions, and he was justifiably cross with her.

Carla was surprised when Peter walked in with Simon (not half as surprised as I was to see her cooking), but put a brave face on. “We all get to have dinner together … yay,” she cheered – unconvincingly!

“I don’t like fish fingers, and I don’t like you!” Simon replied and ran off to the bedroom. It’s enough to drive a girl (and an alchoholic bookie), to drink!

It didn’t get much better for Carla when she went into work. She and Michelle were cosying up outside the Factory,* and Carla was saying how happy she was, when (cue disaster), Hayley scuttled out and dropped the latest bombshell. It was a great opportunity for a cracking bit of banter and some one-liners!

“I’m Supervisor,” Sally announced.

I’M Supervisor,” Hayley retorted indignantly.

“Well, you supervise all your machines being squashed up, and when ours arrive I’ll supervise them filling in the gaps,” Sally told her. Great stuff!

Eva’s Birthday bash was funny too. The funniest part was her hair …

“Me and Gail have come as twins,” Stella announced.

“Yeah. Little and Large,” Karl laughed. Not funny – judging by those two pairs of ‘rat eyes’. Gail’s speech was funny. “Thank you very much for this beautiful spread,” she slurred, before going on to tell Stella she’d bought her top before it had gone into the half-price sale!

It was a sad day for me on Friday though, as Rosie left. They’re dropping like flies at the moment. First Becky, and now Rosie. It’s a testament to the show that no matter how good (or popular), a character is, Corrie will just carry on without them, but to lose two BIG comic actresses within a couple of weeks makes me nervous.

One of Corrie’s biggest strengths is its humour, and Rosie’s been a writer’s dream over the years. “Eileen. Calves are cows – not veals,” was just one of her parting gifts for us. As I said last week: it took a huge amount of skill to play that part so convincingly, and she’ll be very-much missed (by me, for one).

Our last-ever Rosie-isms (unless she comes back one day; please?), in my Grins of the week: *sniff*

Sunita: “What can I get you?”

Rosie: “Oh my God; so, you’re like, ‘A Barmaid’ now? Oh, that’s so sweet – at your age and everything.”

Sally: “I might see if I can get a Vienetta for afters.” (Wooh!)

Sylvia: “Excuse me. I was talking to you.”

Roy. “I think that was ‘at’, not ‘to’.”

Carla (to Michelle): “I bet they can’t breathe in there (the Factory) with all that gossip. There’ll be no oxygen.”

Roy: “You’re singing.”

Sylvia: “No flies on you.”

PS “I’m going to have a word with Peter. He can’t just dump Simon here,” Tracy complained to Deirdre. Pot, kettle, or what? Deirdre’s face!

PPS Has Rosie created a new phrase: “Dramality show”? I’ve never heard it before, but then I don’t get out much.

PPPS Why do people always leave last thing at night? What time train would Rosie have been on to London, and what time must she have arrived? The middle of the night, surely? Who leaves home to start a new life in a new City (in a cab – and with hardly any bags), so late at night?

PPPPS We’ve had some good old-fashioned sayings this week. “You’re not exactly a giddy kipper today,” Hayley said, and “Think on and look sharp,” Sylvia instructed Roy. My Yorkshire Grandma used to say both of those to me when I was a little girl. Aah.

PPPPPPS Do you reckon Nick looks a bit like Carl King’s long-lost (rough-looking) brother?

PPPPPPPS So Stella and Karl have got the pub then? That happened quickly, and we haven’t even had the usual ‘Name going over the door’ scene (unless I blinked and missed it?). How did they get a mortgage, then? They hardly seemed to be in a position to afford it …

"Just Good Friends?" the debut novel by Jane Reynolds

* If someone looked at me the way Carla looks at Michelle, I’d be in Heaven! If you like the idea of Carla and Michelle together, you’ll definitely like my novel, the chick-lit romance “Just Good Friends?” It’s on Amazon/Kindle. SIMPLY CLICK HERE!


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