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The X Factor
Despite myself, I watched on Saturday night (while re-watching Young Apprentice on my Mac, following it on Twitter and eating my dinner!), as I couldn't not watch to see how bad Frankie was, and – boy – he didn't disappoint. Yet-another one-line song he just talked his way through.
Gary's clearly deliberately picking songs without tunes in the increasingly desperate hope that nobody will notice that ne has NO TALENT, but everyone in the UK – apart from teenage girls (who aren't after him for his voice), and Gary have seen right through him.
Surely he can't survive another week? Misha B's performance was the best thing I've seen on this year's X Factor (except for John Adams …), but why is everyone going mad for Craig? He's got an ok voice, but – sorry mate – just doesn't look the part (despite being put on a diet). Not like John Adams. Who wouldn't choose John over that scruffy, overgrown guinea pig Frankie?
Notice how much was made of Sami's weight (and the poor girl from Weetabix)? Why isn't Craig coming under the same criticism, I wonder? Funny, that …
Monday: I didn't watch last night as I was still doing this blog, but I gather Frankie got through again. It really does beggar belief. (The X Factor ITV1 Saturday/Sunday 8.15 pm)
Four in a Bed
I'd said last week that some people are game-players etc, but this week turned into a near witch-hunt on one poor woman (Nancy, from the Old Court Guesthouse near Bath), just because she said the TV didn't work and that she had no hot water.
There was a guy called Paul (so full of himself that he actually laughed at everything he, himself said!), and both he and one of the others (a woman who allowed smoking in her rooms and whose dogs had the run of the place), were so patronising to this lady that I'm surprised she didn't burst into tears.
Many TVs turn on these days (particularly in Hotels), just by pressing the remote control. This one didn't. How was Nancy to know it had a switch on the side? It's not always easy to find an On/Off switch and I, too, would probably have just assumed that it wasn't working, as I've stayed in many Hotels over the years where the TV wasn't actually working but nobody had bothered to check.
And if she didn't have hot water, she didn't have hot water, mate. There's no way she could get that one wrong. Him going up there at least a couple of hours later (after she'd had breakfast, left and he'd read her feedback form), then gloating that there WAS hot water was shameful. Dur, maybe it had just re-heated by then perhaps, Paul? Did you consider that?
I've stayed in Hotels where there's been no hot water, but an hour later there was. Shame on him. It's really upset me, and I don't think I'll watch next week. It'll certainly free up some time to watch something else … (Four in a Bed Channel 4 Mon-Fri 5.00-5.30 pm)
It was worrying for a girl to ask whether you had to change a baby every time it dirtied its nappy or whether you could "Leave it for a bit?" Here's Karren and Nick's reaction!
The one who designed guitar straps (bet that's a crowded marketplace), got outvoted, and Gbemi was PM. She's very scary. I'm still gobsmacked that they chose a white baby for a black mother 'because it was the best behaved'. Yeah, that makes perfect sense …
Not sure what the boys thought babies were like. Harry M kept going on about the 'nightmare' and the 'ominous task' of feeding. It's the opposite. Those few minutes spent filling their little tummies with milk are usually a blessed respite! They gave Harry M a real hard time, but he was making some valid points.
James was obnoxious. "I've also got ideas Lewis," he said snootily. As for Lewis: he looks more like he should be treading the boards than in a boardroom, and puts me in mind of that super young fellow Nausius from Frankie Howerd's Up Pompeii. (Ah, you youngsters won't remember that!)
It took Harry H to come in and rescue them from Lewis's pitching (even worse than Gbemi's!), but one of them got the boot (what was his name again?). There'll be all to play for this week now. Great stuff!
PS Who writes the narration? There were so many cringworthy one-liners about ice-cream last week, and this week we had the likes of, "Cradling their cushion idea; the girls head off." Not funny.
PPS Lord Sugar said he used to go to bed cradling a piggy bank. There's no answer to that one! (Young Apprentice Episode 2 BBC1 9.00 pm Monday)
This week's Episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm is (according to Saturday's Daily Mail TV Guide), another cracker. This whole Series has been fantastic, and if you've never seen Curb, check it out, or – better still – put it on your Christmas list!
(Curb Your Enthusiasm More4 Sunday 11.05 pm)
(The only good bit was this CUTE, CUTE little boy. He had migraines, but a change in his diet really helped him. Bless.)
So that's another one I won't have to watch this week now – which is lucky, as I've got a busy week coming up, and as I've also spotted that a new Series of MasterChef: The Professionals starts on Monday.
I'd only just got over India Fisher's horrific narration from Celebrity MasterChef a couple of weeks ago, and how she'll be at it again. Oh God. Still, it won't stop me watching. I'll just have to mute the sound (as usual), and it'll be a chance to see the lovely Michel Roux Jr again. Aah, bless.
Did you see the MasterChef sketch on The Impressions Show this week? John and Greg's words were almost drowned out by the completely OTT dramatic music in the background! Glad it's not just me who notices (and complains about), these things!
(MasterChef: The Professionals BBC2 Mon-Thurs 8.30 Mon, 9.00 Tue-Thurs)
(Sounds of the 20th Century Radio 2 10.00 pm every Thursday, and available on BBC iPlayer)
Ooh, nearly forgot. Saturday 12th sees the return of Going out with Alan Carr on Radio 2 6.00-8.00 pm. I've missed him, and can't wait for two hours of laughing till I cry as he and Mel Sykes rabbit on like demented budgies!
PS Did you see Debra Stephenson's impression of Hilary Devey on The Impressions Show with Culshaw and Stephenson this week? Strangely, I nearly always manage to miss this, but she is such a wonderful impressionist, that I vow never to miss it again!