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Our attention’s temporarily turned away from the whole Carla/Peter/Leanne threesome in favour of three other threesomes this week though, and I’ll just get my first ‘Poor Becky’ in straight away, as Tracy’s rubbing her nose in it something rotten again.
The first threesome starts with a case of that nasty virus Lesbiangirlfriendsnatcher (AKA Amber), which starts out as just a minor infection but – once it gets a grip – will gradually kill-off your healthy relationship.
Sophie’s caught the virus but just doesn’t realise it yet. Sian does, and she’s already spotted some of the symptoms, because when you love someone you just sense when something’s not right, and I’m SO not looking forward seeing it take a hold of Sophie.
I have to hand it to Amber though. She’s exactly the sort of smarmy, dislikeable personality we’re all going to easily be able to hate/blame over this. She’s Dev’s daughter alright, and the VERY clever thing the Corrie Team have done here is to use her (as opposed to just bringing in a new character), to split them up. Unhappy times ahead for lesbians & Sophie/Sian-lovers everywhere I’m afraid.*
Another couple who won’t be celebrating any Anniversaries in the near future are Cheryl and Lloyd, as that nasty, conniving Cancerous Chris worms his way between them. Three’s a crowd – and Lloyd’s had the patience of a Saint so far, but it’s wearing a bit thin now.
Lloyd: “She doesn’t want to leave Chris on his own.”
Steve: “Why? Does he play with matches?”
Seems a like good time to play the ‘Appropriate/Inappropriate Music playing in the background’ game. Cheryl and Lloyd were getting all cosy on the settee, and at the moment Cancerous Chris walked in to disturb them, the line #’The man that tried to hurt you’ from Simply Red’s Stars sang out and oh, when Tracy was buttering Steve up by telling him that she was the only one who was there for him (and that they could all be one big, happy family now), the line #’I wonder if he’ll stay now, stay now’ from Hazel O’Connor’s Will You was playing. Let’s all listen-out to see if there’s any good ones this week!
The last ‘threesome’ of the week are Tracy’s twins + Amy. Three’s a lot for someone who doesn’t even really like kids much, but Tracy’s such a split personality it’s no surprise she’s having twins really, is it? Do you reckon one will be evil like her and the other be as gormless as Steve?
She’d got a bit of morning sickness, which brought back memories for Deirdre. “Ooh, I remember when I had morning sickness with you. I practically wore the toilet bowl as a hat for months,” she recalled (much to Tracy’s disgust). Eileen was stood at the bar too, and Deirdre (on a wave of nostalgia) asked her, “Did you get sick with Jason?”
“Mainly after Rosie moved in,” Eileen replied with her usual brilliant timing.
Tracy might not go through with it though, and she was brave (or selfish?) to admit that she couldn’t cope with twins. She’s right. She gave Amy away more often when she was a baby than the England football team in a European Qualifier, and it’s only now she’s pretty-much old enough to look after herself (and to stop Poor Becky getting her), that she’s taking an interest. I can’t see Ken and Deirdre agreeing to virtually bring up her twins up the way they did with Amy, can you?
Steve – as usual – has swallowed her little story and now reckons they’re going to start playing Happy Families at last, but not five minutes later, there was Tracy in the toilet rubbing Becky’s nose in it (not literally, of course) again. Poor Becky. Mind you, she gives as good as she gets.
Tracy (as Bex comes to buy a drink): “What are you having? And don’t say ‘Half of everything Steve owns’ as you can’t have it.”
Becky: “Darling. If half of what he owns includes you, he’s welcome to it.”
Tracy’s another one that can have you thinking ‘Ah, she’s not so bad; maybe she’s turned a corner,’ then the next minute have you hating her with a passion (she and EastEnders’ Janine could have been sisters!). She even had the brass neck to say to Steve that without Becky, there’d be “Nobody around to drip poison in your ear.” Wow, she’s got a flippin nerve!
Our Rosie didn’t have as many funny lines as usual this week, but even her expressions and gestures make me laugh, and her insensitivity over Eileen’s 50th Birthday was priceless. Believe me, having Rosie offering you ‘support’ on such a miserable milestone of a day certainly wouldn’t help!
“Oh Eileen. I think it’s great that you’re not giving up. You know – someone at your age and everything?” she gushed, then later on came in and exclaimed “You look fantastic!”
Rosie: “No. Not you. But the photo we just got back – wow!”
Eileen: “It’s not me.”
Rosie: “No, but it’s based on you. It’s what you would look like if you weren’t you; if you looked after yourself.”
She also explained to Sophie about kev/sal sleeping together: “It might be different for lesbians, but when you sleep with someone, it doesn’t mean you want to spend the rest of your life with them.” (She’s right on that one though. The Civil Partnership’s usually booked by the end of the first date!)
Speaking of one-night stands, Kevin didn’t exactly endear himself to Sally (the morning after the night before), by asking her to put his dirty overalls in the wash for him. No wonder she’d thrown him out again by the end of the day! It’s no good him standing there all dewey-eyed seeing her kissing Geoff either. He should have thought of that before he went ‘horizontal jogging’ with Molly.
Let’s have our Grins of the week:
Julie (on making sure she’d got the right twin): “My fella had two webbed toes. I always checked before we were intimate.”
Kevin (to Bill): “How are you feeling?”
Pam: “He’s just had a heart attack. How do you think he’s feeling?”
Eileen: “Streetcars is hardly Microsoft, love.”
Rosie: “Did you know? There’s seven kinds of broccoli.”
Sally (not interested): “Oh, lovely.”
Julie: “I’m having a tea, and Sean’s having a coffee.”
Becky: “I’m right chuffed for you (!)”
Julie: “It doesn’t say SO, it says 50.”
Eileen (with her head stuck in the railings): “Phone the flippin’ Fire Brigade!”
Rosie: “Are you on fire?”
PPS Did you hear Peter’s leather jacket creaking?
PPPS Wasn’t Steve’s Bruce Forsyth impression a cracker!
PPPPS Cancerous Chris’s Doctor’s nice, isn’t she?!
PPPPPS Stella’s got a good job. She’s been on Holiday for weeks now, and has had about three since she started at the Rovers. (Not that I’m complaining. I’m happier when I don’t have to listen to her!)
*If you want a lesbian love story with a happy ending, then my novel “Just Good Friends?” is the book for you! CLICK HERE TO PURCHASE
For ‘useful’ advice for all you wannabe models out there; a host of other tips (and photos-galore of the girl herself), check out the ‘Just Rosie’ Website now: CLICK TO GO TO THE ‘JUST ROSIE’ WEBSITE