Jane Reynolds

Jane Reynolds' Weekly Magazine/Blog – 19th February 2012

Written on 17/02/2012 by Jane in The Complete Blog

Here's this morning's Sunrise over Swindon. It was blinding – literally!

I feel a bit cross with myself because I feel as if I've 'wasted' a week. The trouble was, I had something to 'do' every day (my cousin and family were visiting too), so everything just got more and more pushed-back, and when I DID actually manage to make it into my office I spent the whole time writing email applications and the week just disappeared in front of my eyes.

Friday – in particular – did, as I gave blood on Thursday afternoon and (for the first time), felt a bit dodgy afterwards. I felt really dizzy and light-headed all day, so it was a struggle trying to concentrate and focus.

My father's Hospital appointment last Monday confirmed what we already knew: that his cancer's inoperable. They're going to consider Radiotherapy somewhere down the line, but as he's not in any pain at the moment (apart from being breathless the whole time), they're just going to let it ride.

That's all my non-news for this week. It's almost 8.00 pm on Sunday night as I write this and I haven't even had my tea yet (although I've managed to sneak a glass of wine in!), so I'm going to finish now and get ready to watch a special Sunday-night Episode of Corrie at 8.30. Have a good week.

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TV Times – 19th February 2012

Written on 17/02/2012 by Jane in The Complete Blog, TV Times

(If you're outside the UK, here's a link to be able to watch UK TV programmes: bit.ly/oVMz60)

I've had a few family commitments this week, so haven't watched much Television – apart from a bit of football, Come Dine With Me (ah, it was a lovely week; they had a ball!), and some re-runs of Benidorm (always guaranteed to make me laugh)!

Hang on. Hold the front page: I've just found out that Donald Trump's Celebrity Apprentice starts a new Season tonight. Yippee! It's one of my all-time favourite shows.

I've just looked at the names of the candidates and the only one I've heard of is Joan Rivers, but I don't care who's in it; I watch it because I just love Donald Trump … and I love Ivanka Trump too.

There'll be a review here next week, so do have a watch if you want to keep up with it with me.

(Celebrity Apprentice Series 2 Ep 1 BBC1 Sunday 11.35 pm, then various times/days from there)

CLICK HERE TO SEE ALL THE LAST SERIES + NEW SERIES EPISODES

What Else?

Upstairs Downstairs returns this week. I haven't watched it since Mrs Bridges and Mr 'Udson's days, but will check it out (partly because one of my friends is an extra on it and I'll be looking out for her!).

I'm so glad I gave up MasterChef, especially when I read on Friday that they're 'helping' one of the chefs by giving him more than one chance. CLICK HERE TO READ THE STORY

Like I said: this show has long forgotten what it's meant to be about, and is now simply another reality TV Show with a bit of food thrown in. John Torode and Greg Wallace have got so carried away with their own self-importance that it simply wasn't good for my health to keep watching it!

Don't forget ITV's Take Me Out. It's such feel-good, family fun, and Paddy McGuinness's hosting is brilliant and often hilarious (especially if you like your one-liners). I want to start a campaign to get Gracie picked though. She's SO lovely and SO funny, but the guys always pick the tall, long-legged glamorous ones, and she's the only one in glasses too (which I'm sure goes against her).

That and Harry Hill's TV Burp: what a great slice of Saturday night entertainment! CLICK HERE TO GO TO THE TAKE ME OUT WEBSITE

Radio Times

Yippee. There's a new Series of Count Arthur Strong's Radio Show starting this week. If you haven't heard it, you've missed an absolute treat. He's a mardy, old, 'Hardly-ever-has-been' from Doncaster who gets even the simplest sentence wrong – with hilarious consquences.

It's such a clever show, and if you like it go straight off and get the CDs. Trust me: you won't be disappointed!

(Count Arthur Strong's Radio Show Radio 4 Tuesdays 6.30 pm)

I'll be on the Radio twice this week:

Thursday 11.30-12.00 am with Jane's Big Blog Soap Spot on Alastair Greener's Big Show, and then

Friday 4.00-5.00 pm, co-presenting the TGI Friday show with Paul Dawkins. Both can be found on Swindon 105.5 FM: 'Daring to be different'. CLICK HERE TO GO TO THE SITE

PS Just spotted there's a new series of Benidorm starting on Friday. I knew it was coming, but not when. If you love your one-liners, you won't want to miss this! I'll be reviewing it next week. (Benidorm ITV1 Friday 9.00 pm)

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'Emmerdale-y' – 19th February 2012

Written on 17/02/2012 by Jane in Emmerdale-y, Soap-y Corner, The Complete Blog

(You can hear me talking Soaps 11.30-12.00 am every Thurs & from 4.05-5.00 pm Fri on Swindon 105.5 FM) CLICK HERE TO LISTEN

You know that when a Soap character says something like "The rest of our lives start tomorrow," it's time to order the flowers, and this week was no exception, and as John pulled Moira to him for a snog we knew we'd be in bits before the week was out.

I did wonder where on earth the Hotel must have been though, as they set off in daylight and it was pitch black when they crashed. It's a long time since I could afford to stay in a Hotel, but if I'd only been going for the one night – and for a romantic retreat – I'd have been in Reception from midday (with my coat and cardi off), ready for 3.00 check-in!

John hadn't even packed (typical man), so Hannah told him, "Go and pack some stuff; some nice pants." Nice pants? I'd never think of descibing men's pants as 'nice'. Clean pants I could understand, but 'nice' pants?

Anyway. Off they went, and you have to say that what happened next was amazing. The special effects were excellent, and it was tear-jerking/nail-biting stuff (or would have been if we didn't know he was leaving!), but when the van slipped and slapped flat onto the ground below, I actually gasped with shock and surprise.

That was a great twist. I thought that would have finished him off, but luckily he wasn't squashed, and he and Moira were able to re-affirm their love before the inevitable flat-lining. I can't imagine how it must feel to witness that in real life. It was painful-enough to watch them acting it, and credit to them all for having us in floods at the end!

Poor Chas didn't know what to do, but she and Moira 'made up' after Chas reassured her that nothing had happened between them and that John couldn't even "Show willing," because he'd loved her so much.

Well, that set Andy off and made him even more determined to 'Seize the Day' and tell Debbie how he felt about her. Diane told Debbie she'd "Led him on," which I thought was a bit unfair. I don't think she'd given him any indication that it was anything more than 'what it was', but it was certainly more than enough for Cameron, who stormed straight round to Andy's for another showdown.

"I don't need to lay one finger on you to knock you out," Andy said smugly, before landing the killer punch. Oh, Andy. What have you done?

The other ructions this week were between Ruby and Ali. Nicola was like the speaking clock reminding them that time was running out to pay off their arrears.

"Do you practise being a stuck-up cow, or does it come natural?" Rachel asked her.

Nicola 'took against' them from day one – and makes no secret of it. She seems to be forever looking for ways to get into their cottage though. "It's like watching a vulture picking bits off something a car ran over," Ruby observed as Nicola stood writing things on her clipboard.

"Why? Do vultures measure-up for new carpets? You need to change your tablets." (I'm laughing out loud as I write this!)

To be honest, if I was Ruby I'd have spent that money on a gallon of petrol to get the hell out of there. Those two are about as cheerful as toothache; have got about as much chemistry as a pair of book-ends, and if that's all her savings gone (on a month's rent and a carpet?), then what are they going to do next time they have a bit of a spillage?

I loved the scene where Nicola was in the toilet slagging Ruby off to Laurel, then stopped as she realised it had all gone quiet and said, "She's out there – isn't she?"

"I just think that your life must be pretty sad if we're all you've got to talk about," Ruby told her as she came out.

"My life's just peachy thanks, and it'll be even better when you're back up your Tower Block," Nico sniped back, but was to be disappointed to see Ruby turn up at Declan's with the cash!

Is the rugby-playing van driver going to be Aaron's new squeeze? 56-4 was the score in their match. "Impressive," Aaron replied (did he mean the result?). "We were the four," Ed replied. Still; I'm sure he's got big muscles …

Loving the Rhona/Paddy banter. She loves winding him up and is really good at teasing him. "Especially if I do my Paddy voice!" she squeaked to Tootsie! Ok; here's my Grins of the Week:

Chas: "Am I getting weaker, or is that beer getting heavier?"

Diane: "First one."

Nicola: "Katie had a rat running over her foot this morning."

Sam: "Was it a brown one?"

Nicola: " … she didn't specify."

Adam: "What can I do with a face like this?"

Holly: "Put a bag on it?"

Adam: "Is that what your boyfriends tell you?"

Sam: "I used to have a pet rat. It even answered to its name."

Nicola: "What was it?"

Sam (smirking): "Nicola."

Nicola: "It's not funny."

Chas: "Yeah, it is, to be fair."

Rhona: "Guinea pigs; there's no reasoning with them."

Chas: "Just fancied a chat."

Cain: "Go on then."

Chas: " … How are ya?"

Cain: "Is that you chatting?"

Chas: "I'm warming up."

Paddy: "WE cured Tootsie."

Edna: "You all-but told me to give her a Lemsip!"

Aaron: "I'm not in the mood," (to see Cain).

Chas: "When's anyone in the mood for Cain … but talking of Moira– "

PS Amy was back to the facepack look this week …

PS Some good acting from little Samson this week. He had Corrie's Simon's "God, I can't believe you grown-ups," face on!

PS How come – in 22 years of marriage – John had never once got that cassette out to play to Moira, and would Andy's Land Rover really have had a cassette player in it? They haven't been in cars since … well, my car's got one, but it's a 'W' Reg – which is well-old!

PPS Didn't Pearl look nice?

PPPS Aah, I love Lisa. She's just so 'mumsy'.

Like Ruby and Ali? You'll probably like this then. It's a love story about two straight, married women who find their feelings for each other go far deeper than just friendship, but will they get together? It's my chick-lit/lesbian romance "Just Good Friends?" and is a mere click away on Amazon/Kindle. SIMPLY CLICK HERE!

CLICK HERE TO GO TO THE EMMERDALE HOMEPAGE

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Corrie Corner – 19th February 2012

Written on 17/02/2012 by Jane in Corrie Corner, Soap-y Corner, The Complete Blog

(You can hear me talking Soaps 11.30-12.00 am every Thursday & from 4.00-5.00 pm Fridays on Swindon 105.5 FM) CLICK HERE TO LISTEN

Oh Tyrone. What HAVE you done? No sooner had he popped the question than she was prizing the TV remote out of his hand and bossing him about. She really has got an 'evil eye' hasn't she?

Despite Tommy and Tina trying to warn him off, Tyrone's so desperate to have a baby of his own and be 'happy' that he can't see that he isn't happy and is just slowly being sucked-in to 'Curse-ty's' trap. I pity that baby, and I pity Tyrone.

Goodness knows where it'll end, but as long as it's with her being driven off in the back of a Police Car, I'll be happy. "Be careful she doesn't see you. She'll probably run you over," Tina warned Tommy as he attempted to follow her when she drove off for her secret assignation on Monday. Do you reckon Simon's been using her as a role model, as he's been looking daggers at Carla again this week!

We've got more kiddie stuff going on at the moment as Katie struggles with the enormity of motherhood (ah, how grown-up did Ches look this week, bless?), and Julie informing Brian that they're also about to hear the patter of tiny feet. They're so funny, and I can't wait to see this storyline unfold.

Gail and Audrey's detox has been a corker. It's like asking Norris not to moan, expecting those two not to drink! Doctor Dull asked Audrey if she drank alchohol (surely he's seen her knocking-it back in the Rovers often enough)?

" … Sometimes," she admitted reluctantly, and then he asked how many units she drank a in week.

"Ooh, it varies," she replied noncommittally.

"Yeah. From 'A lot' to 'An awful lot'," Gail interjected!

Luckily, their health-kick didn't last long and they were soon back on the settee; glass in hand. "We can start again tomorrow," Audrey declared – pouring herself another gin. (Ah, how many times have we all said that, aye?)

Their yomp in the Countryside was funny. I thought they'd have been more knackered going up that hill though. I was out of breath just watching, and you'd have thought it was the Second Coming when they saw that pub in the distance!

Talking of drinking: I think I might have worked out why Peter's won more Bad Drinking from a Mug Awards than any other Soap character: is it because he's better at drinking out of a bottle, or does he just not like the taste of tea/coffee? I've never once seen him spill a drop of beer, but he has an awful lot of trouble getting an (empty) mug of tea his mouth and actually taking a swallow …

Just a thought! Right, let's have our Grins of the week:

Milton (to Roy): "Gregorian Chant. You guys kill me. You know, you are the gloomiest guy I ever met."

Tina: "You're like a puppet, Ty. She's got her hand so far up your backside it's like a ventriloquist's dummy."

Curse-ty: "He speaks for himself."

Tina: "See. His lips don't even move!"

Sylvia: "Every silver lining has a cloud: that's Roy's motto."

Gail: "I've never been so insulted."

Audrey: "Ooh, we both know that's not true!"

Brian: "I love going to school. I just love the feel of the place – when the children are on holiday."

Simon: "Later this morning I'm going down't street to me Grandma and Grandad's."

Carla (trying to be cheery): "Well, I shall see you tonight."

Simon (under his breath): "No. You won't."

Brian (guiltily): "I was just looking for leaflets … on nutrition."

Julie: "Well, did they have any?"

Brian: "No, no, no no. They'd all gone; very popular subject."

PS Why's Peter sniffing Carla's hair: has she been using that beer shampoo again?

PPS First Becky, and now Milton's bought Sylvia a First Class ticket. But will she actually go? Hmm. California or Coronation Street? Tough choice …

PPPS It was clever of Gail to a) be able to press the buttons on her phone with those thick gloves on, and b) for it to have worked, as they didn't look like those new iPhone gloves.

Ok. That's the end of the blog, but here's an extra bit for you to think about:

Carla kissed Michelle on the lips this week.

Maybe it's just me, but my Gaydar's been twitching ever since Michelle came back with Kieran last year. I've never seen Carla so relaxed with any of the men she's been paired with over the years, and as the weeks go by they seem to be getting even more affectionate in the way they behave towards each other. The intimate little touches, looks and innuendoes that pass between them …

It seems strange for two female friends to be quite that close, and (to me), it's a storyline just waiting to happen: Carla's so disillusioned by the men she's been with that – fearing she'll never be able to trust another one (I just can't see her and Peter staying together long-term; they're just not a 'pair'), she grows even closer to Michelle, and they gradually realise their feelings are developing into something more than just friendship.

They look SO good together, and it would be SUCH a coup/great storyline for Corrie – as well as keeping them right up there as the 'Number One' Soap for lesbians.

That's not a joke. Look how well the Sophie/Sian relationship was received? This would be a BIG step up from that: two older, more mature women who've 'been there, done that', realising that they actually want to be together? It would be a completely believable scenario to use as the reason why she and Peter (inevitably), split up.

Maybe it's a red herring (or probably just wishful thinking on my part and I'm reading way too much into it), but if you look back over my Corrie Corner posts you'll see lots of clues/evidence to support my theory, and – if it proves to be true – then you definitely 'heard it here' first!

What do you think? Would you like it? Why not leave a comment and let me know?

* If someone looked at me the way Carla looks at Michelle, I'd be in Heaven, and if you like the idea of them together, then you'll definitely like my novel, the chick-lit romance "Just Good Friends?" It's on Amazon/Kindle. SIMPLY CLICK HERE!

CLICK HERE TO GO TO THE CORONATION STREET HOMEPAGE

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Queen Vic Corner – 19th February 2012

Written on 17/02/2012 by Jane in Queen Vic Corner, Soap-y Corner, The Complete Blog

(You can hear me talking Soaps 11.30-12.00 am every Thurs & from 4.00-5.00 pm every Fri on Swindon 105.5 FM) CLICK HERE TO LISTEN

In my dreams it's been, "Whitney, Tyler, Fats. Whitney, Tyler, Fats. Whitney, Tyler, Fa … "What? It's SORTED? Woo, hoo. I'll be able to sleep soundly at night again!

Yes. After Thursday's false alarm (when Tyler popped up from behind the sofa with Loose-y Lucy), they finally got it together on Friday.

I'm glad. There can't have been many young women left in Walford for him to wheel into the Vic in front of her, and I have to admit that it was actually a bit of an 'Aah' moment when her told her he loved her.

Let's hope they're a happy couple (for a while anyway), as there's not much else to make us go 'Aah' at the moment, is there? We thought Heather and Andrew's romance was lovely, but there's clearly more to him than meets the eye (and there's a lot to him), and I'm getting a bit worried about that temper of his …

I don't blame him for being fed up about Shirley though. It's important not to drop your friends when you get a bloke, but I do think Heather's putting Shirley before him a little too often. He keeps making lesbian references, but I can see where he's coming from.

Shirley's always had a rather fetching dyke-y look about her, and seeing her sitting on that bike can only have unnerved him further – as would Shirley telling him (over a Chinese), that she knows Heather, "Better than she knows herself."

He's not a happy bunny, but is he a bunny boiler? I think Heather definitely needs to watch her back with that one.

The lovely Tanya was watching Max watching Lucy parading around in his shirt at breakfast. "Laurel said I could borrow it, cos I forgot my PJs and she didn't want to risk seeing me naked in case I turned her," she explained to him lasciviously.

Honestly. There's lesbian references everywhere at the moment, and the way Lucy's putting it about I wouldn't put it past her to be trying it on with a girl before long. Either that, or she'll set her sights on Max – who's missing that side of things with Tan.

"Anytime I show her some affection she thinks I'm trying to jump her," he confided in Jack.

It's a chicken and egg thing. Women don't think that about men for no reason, and many men don't do themselves any favours in that department (look at how Tyler's been carrying on), but I think she should give him a break. Mind you, that red blouse with the black waistcoat ought to be enough to cool his ardour. It's the only thing she wears that doesn't suit her (and this is a woman who'd even look good in an old bin bag tied up with string – in my opinion)!

As for wandering eyes: it might have been nice if Jack had made eye contact (even once), with Amy in the whole of that scene with Roxy in the caff on Monday. No wonder she never speaks; she probably thinks she's invisible.

You know I have my Bad Drinking from a Mug Awards? Well, I have to present a pair of Gross SLURPING from a Glass Awards to Derek and Alfie (who only comes second to Corrie's Peter Barlow in the BDFAM stakes), for that whisky drinking this week. God; it sounded like a wine-tasting!

That Derek's getting more and more revolting as the weeks go by. He's like a big, fat cockroach with that shiny black hair and that shiny black coat. I just have a vision of him lying on his back the Square (having been knocked over by a car), with his legs and arms flailing and not being able to get up! (Ooh, and to think I took a bit of a shine to him at first. What was I thinking?)

God knows, but here's some Grins of the week to take my mind off it!

Heather: "Thing is … "

Shirley: "What is The Thing, Hev?"

Janine: "If I saw a pig, I would actually run after it with a knife and fork." *

Dot: "I've booked Mr Bishop for his organ."

Tiffany: "Why do you always have to go to work?"

Bianca: "Why do you always have to eat?"

PS How did Fats afford a trip to Paris. I thought he didn't have a job? Notice how he ripped the tickets up? I can't afford a holiday, but I can afford a roll of sellotape, and with all the discarded tickets lying around Albert Square, if I stood there for half an hour or so I could have that trip to Paris and as many flights to Spain as I liked!

PS Derek mentioned Charlie's stroke. I thought it was a heart attack?

PPS I don't understand Derek and Alfie's booze scam – which is one reason why I can't watch Murder/Thriller/Detective Shows. I lose the plot after the first scene!

* I read this week that Janine's having six months off from August, and now that I know that, I won't be able to enjoy watching Janine and Michael together as I know she's going to be leaving.

It's a tricky one. I can really understand how actors may want/need to take time off, but it really does blow a hole in the continuity of a Soap, and I find it really frustrating when (as in this case, or like Kat), a character who's part of a couple just 'disappears' for months on end – especially Janine right now when she's right in the middle of a pregnancy storyline.

Was your Valentine's Day not what you'd hoped for, or do you wish someone would declare their undying love for you? If so, why not escape with my romantic novel "Just Good Friends?" which tells the story of close, married neighbours Ruth and Helen, whose close friendship turns into something a whole lot more! Just CLICK HERE to buy it on Amazon/Kindle (and thank you SO much if you do; I really appreciate it).

CLICK HERE TO GO TO THE EASTENDERS' HOMEPAGE

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And Finally … 19th February 2012

Written on 17/02/2012 by Jane in and Finally, The Complete Blog

(And Finally … The bit at the end that doesn't fit anywhere else!)

On the 21st October 2011, the Daily Mail published two articles that could have easily been Press Releases for my novel "Just Good Friends?" Here's both the links if you'd like to have a look.

WOMEN PREFER SPENDING TIME WITH THEIR FRIENDS and

MORE THAN HALF OF WOMEN ATTRACTED TO OTHER WOMEN

This is exactly the basis of the romance which develops between yummy-mummies Ruth and Helen, and their affair blows their lives apart. If you know of any Literary Agent, or have any contact, anywhere who you think might even be remotely interested, then please send them a link to my site. I'd be ever so grateful!

You can hear me talking Soaps on the Radio in Jane's Big Blog on Alastair Greener's Big Show: Thursdays 11.30-12.00; Jane's Soapy Slot is now in the TGI Friday show which I do with Paul Dawkins for an hour: 4.00-5.00 every Friday afternoon, and The Big Weekender with the brilliant Nick and Barry is now on from 5.00-7.00 pm.

I'm an occasional co-host on Girls About Town: on Wednesdays 11.00-12.00 too; and it's all on Swindon 105.5 FM. CLICK HERE TO LISTEN

All done, but here's the 'small print' – which may be useful (!) for newcomers to this blog:

If you're one of my more recent Twitter followers (I'm janereynolds8), and are wondering where I disappear to sometimes, let me reveal my secret. I pull on my yellow marigold gloves and go cleaning/ironing on Wednesdays.

I do one of my Radio slots on Thursday mornings then generally clean my dad's house and do a few 'chores' on a Thursday afternoon, then it's full steam ahead from Friday to Sunday as I prepare-for and write the blog, so I'm often a 'lesser-spotted Jane' during that time.

Same at night. I have to be sat there at 7.00 pm to do my Soap-watching (pen in hand), in order to be watch/make notes for my Sunday Soapy Corners. It all works well, unless I have to go out; something unexpected happens, or I have a rough day and end up eating pasta and drinking red wine (as it's hard to concentrate after that)!

I can just-about cope with missing one night (as I can usually find the time to catch up somewhere), but if I lose more than one - for whatever reason – it all gets very difficult, and there's been the odd occasion where I've simply just run out of time and had to publish the blog on a Monday morning (which I hate doing as I'm such a stickler for efficiency!).

That's a snapshot of my working week. Not much else happens to me, other than that!

There are several jolly good bits not currently listed on the right of this page: things like 'Celebri-teeze', 'Handy Hints' (some handier than others!), 'Moira's Corna' (Chris Evans' Radio 2 show's Newsreader Moira Stuart's Rasta Sista), 'Twitter-y', plus old posts on things like MasterChef, Michel Roux's Service, great Soap-y lookalikes and some recipes/cooking tips (with yummy foodie photos too!), so if this week's blog's left you hungry for more, why not take a look? Just click on 'Older Blog Posts' and have a good old scroll!

If you find this site easy to navigate, you might like to know that the 'Superhero' in charge of it is called Jim Montgomery. Jim runs a Company called A4Magic.com, which offers everything from complete website design to fixing a site that's been set up incorrectly.

He makes you little video tutorials to show you how to do things for yourself and is always on hand to answer support questions via email or Skype. The best thing about him though (apart from his lovely soft Irish accent!), is that he always knows the answer – even if you don't know what the actual question is!

He'll do the 'Whole Job' on your site, or if you just want a few hours tidying-up/updating what you've got, Jim'll sort you out for sure! He describes himself as an 'Internet Alchemist', and he's certainly worked his magic on my site!

Jim's website is www.a4magic.com, he's on Twitter @jim_montgomery, and you'll also find him on Facebook www.facebook.com/a4magic.

I cannot recommend him highly enough. Thank you Jim! (He also does Facebook pages and mobile websites – whatever that means!)

If you need a very reasonably-priced Accountant (who also plays the Saxophone – but not at the same time), mine's Swindon-based Len Morphew, and he's done a jolly good job for me.

CLICK HERE FOR LEN'S WEBSITE

(My debut novel "Just Good Friends?" follows the lives of wealthy South London families embroiled in a series of affairs, the most surprising of which being yummy mummy Ruth and Helen's, as – after sharing a drunken kiss – their close friendship turns into something deeper and threatens to destroy Ruth's seemingly strong marriage. Available from Amazon, Kindle or directly from any page on this site as a paperback or ebook.)

*********************************************************************************************************************************

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Jane Reynolds' Weekly Magazine/Blog – 12th February 2012

Written on 11/02/2012 by Jane in The Complete Blog

It was a game of two halves this week. Grey skies, frost and snow over Swindon last week (the one on the left was taken out of my bedroom window on Friday), then a flaming start to the morning today.

Yes, I'm writing this on Monday morning. I only managed to get half a day's work in on Saturday as I had twelve people for dinner on Saturday night so had to go and get that sorted.

It was 1.30 on Sunday morning before I put my light out and was up again at 6.45 to carry on with this blog, but I just ran out of time yesterday so came into my office extra early this morning to finish it all off. As soon as I post it I'm going to make a large pot of coffee!

Today's the day I go the Hospital with my father to see the Oncologist. I'm hoping we might get a better idea regarding the spread of his cancer, but he's not had a good week. He's been very tired, but says it's simply because he isn't getting any exercise. It's very frustrating for him as he's normally so active, but with the weather set to improve this week, hopefully he'll be able to get out and about a bit.

The family I clean for on Wednesdays are away this week so I haven't got to go to work. It'll give me an extra day in the office, but the downside is that I won't earn any money. That job is my only income currently (apart from the small amount of Royalties on my book sales – which help a bit), but I'll have to go extra-steady this month.

Ha. I could quite easily lay down on the floor under my desk and go to sleep right now – to be honest, but I'd better press on. Definitely time for that coffee! Have a good week everyone.

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TV Times – 12th February 2012

Written on 11/02/2012 by Jane in The Complete Blog, TV Times

(If you're outside the UK, here's a link to be able to watch UK TV programmes: bit.ly/oVMz60)

I haven't watched much TV this week (apart from the Soaps and a couple of re-runs of Benidorm), as I've had a lot of other commitments on my time, unfortunately, so apologies for a 'condensed' TV Times this week.

If you like your one-liners and a bit of real 'feel-good' entertainment, you really can't do better than ITV1's Saturday night family dating show Take Me Out.

I know I keep banging-on about it, but (despite what you might think), it really does tick all the boxes, and Paddy McGuinness is spot-on as the Host. Try it and see for yourself. Go on, you know you want to!

CLICK HERE TO GO TO THE TAKE ME OUT WEBSITE

Radio Times

I listened to Episode one of Jason Byrne's Father Figure. Er, not the best thing he's ever done. Some well-dodgy accents there. Hopefully this week's will be better …

Last Friday's Big Weekender show with Nick Anderson and Barry Harris on Swindon 105.5 FM was a gem, so I make no apology for telling you about it again. If you like biting wit; satire; social comment, blokey banter and (often risque!) comedy stetches/characters, then THIS is the show for you.

Nick and Barry are very clever guys and both possess that enviable gift of always being able to think of exactly the right thing to say at exactly the right time, which makes for compulsive and hilarious listening!

They're wasted on local radio, and their show is better than many of the 'comedy' shows I've heard on Radio 4/4Extra, so if you like things like Steve Wright; Clive Anderson and Radcliffe & Maconie-type humour, then you'll love The Big Weekender, Fridays 5.00-7.00 pm on Swindon 105.5 FM (it's online).

PS I'll be on the wireless three times myself this week:

Wednesday 11-12 am on the Girls About Town show

Thursday 11.30-12.00 am with Jane's Big Blog Soap Spot on Alastair Greener's Big Show, and

Friday 4.00-5.00 pm co-presenting the TGI Friday show with Paul Dawkins.

All on Swindon 105.5 FM. 'Daring to be different'. CLICK HERE TO GO TO THE SITE

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'Emmerdale-y' – 12th February 2012

Written on 11/02/2012 by Jane in Emmerdale-y, Soap-y Corner, The Complete Blog

(You can hear me talking Soaps 11.30-12.00 am every Thurs & from 4.05-5.00 pm Fri on Swindon 105.5 FM) CLICK HERE TO LISTEN

Two big things this week (and I'm not talking about Chas's dress), although, actually …

I've never seen a dress quite like that before. Talk about Nell Gwynne. Even Charity commented appreciatively, "I could have a go on you myself, love," yet – despite Chas's best efforts – John couldn't.

It was that old chestnut, "It's not you, it's me," and Chas was very disappointed. There'd been no doubt as to what she was after and – boy – was she frustrated not to have 'got' it!

John might as well have been hung for a sheep as a lamb though (as everyone thought they were 'at it'), and should have told his kids to butt out too. Aaron was right (bless). What business is it of theirs? It's between him and Moira, and there's no way he should have allowed them to speak to him like that.

There's no way Moira had the right to go laying into Chas either, and Chas gave her both barrels when she reminded her that she was the one who started the whole thing when she, "Jumped on our Cain." I was asking last week who'd come out on top in a fight. We almost got to find out this week!

And speaking of fights: Val asked Amy, "What happened to your eye then?"

Maybe it's just my small, old TV, but I couldn't see any difference (under all that black eye makeup), and thought Belle's shocked, "God. What's happened?" was from seeing the colour of her hair!

Never mind that though. As the week went on I became increasingly worried that Val was plotting some sort of departure, and so it was proved when I saw her on This Morning on Friday talking about her new play! I get nervous when the good comic characters leave, and I'll really miss Val's wicked sense of humour and fantastic performances.

I do wish she hadn't gone like that though: blaming it all on Eric. Nobody could have been more supportive of Amy, or more patient with Val's "Me, me, me," behaviour over the whole baby storyline. He certainly didn't deserve the barrage of abuse he got off her this week. I'd much prefer Val to have had a call to say that Paul had broken a fingernail and for her to have just gone off to help him recover!

Will Eric get closer to Diane now though, and in a few months time be just about to kiss her when the door will fly open and we'll hear "Hello pet. Have 'ya missed us then?"

What's going to happen to the B&B too? Eric surely can't manage on his own, and he's got that big house to pay for too. Maybe he'll get a Manager and she'll be the one he gets close to? Oh, come back quick Val!

In other news: I loved Monday's Episode (by Owen Lloyd Fox). It fair rattled along and had some great one-liners. Poor Paddy's being cast-aside by everyone in favour of Rhona at the moment (aah). The stuff about the badge was funny – especially when Paddy thought Sam had made it. "Sarah," Rhona hinted warningly, but – luckily – it was all too deep for Sam anyway, so it didn't matter! "Badge envy," she explained to Marlon!

I'm not comfortable about Katie moving in with Declan. That whole scene when he came in to find her and Gennie together felt really wrong: like they were a pair of naughty children being caught smoking by their dad or something. That's not how a relationship should be. They're SO not right together. How about him and Chas? Charity's nabbed his best mate Jai; they'd make a great foursome, and Chas'd give old Deccers a right run for his money!

Moira nearly got a Bad Drinking from a Mug Award this week as she (sideways on), put the mug to her lips but didn't take a drink, but (as it cut to a front view), redeemed herself perfectly with a nice big swallow, and who's envious of Carl and Jimmy's asbestos hands?

They fair grabbed hold of those (empty) mugs of hot tea like they were … empty. I'm sure there's good/technical reasons for using empty mugs, but at least remember to look as if you've got a hot drink by a) holding it by the handle and b) not waving it around, guys!

It does make me laugh, and what else has made me laugh this week? Not as many as normal, but let's have our Grins of the Week:

Nicola: "I don't let Jimmy anywhere near my private things."

Chas: "Yeah, we'd all heard that. Still managed a baby though, didn't you?"

Rodney: "How are things?"

Jimmy: "Great! Apart from the cyclist and the crippling debt, everything's peachy."

Diane: "Amy and Eric were just supporting roles in 'Val: The Musical' then?"

Val: "Shut your clack."

Vic (about the B&B): "I don't mind running it."

Val: "What – and turn it into a nightclub? No thanks."

PS Ooh, Rachel letting her hair down. I hardly recognised her. Poor soul; fancy Marlon rejecting her like that. You keep working on him girl!

PS Marlon: don't keep stopping for a chat when you've got plates of customers' food in your hands!

PS "Just a sandwich please Bob," Katie said. What sort?

PS Diane was either telling Moira to go home (again), or she was off sick this week. Does she get paid when she's not there? She'll be well down in her pay packet this week if she doesn't.

PS Why do Soaps always have photos that look like they're a) posed, b) been taken by a professional photographer, and c) look like they were only taken last week? (The one of Gennie that Katie put up was the exception. It had to be 'homely' that Deccers could tease her about it.)

Like Charity's comment to Chas? You might like this then. A turbulent love story about two straight, married women who find their feelings for each other go far deeper than just friendship. It's my chick-lit/lesbian romance "Just Good Friends?" and is a click away on Amazon/Kindle. SIMPLY CLICK HERE!

CLICK HERE TO GO TO THE EMMERDALE HOMEPAGE

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Corrie Corner – 12th February 2012

Written on 11/02/2012 by Jane in Corrie Corner, Soap-y Corner, The Complete Blog

(You can hear me talking Soaps 11.30-12.00 am every Thursday & from 4.00-5.00 pm Fridays on Swindon 105.5 FM) CLICK HERE TO LISTEN

I was SO glad to finally see Ken put his foot down and tell Peter that 'No', he wouldn't have Simon (again), for the night. Peter tried to make out that Ken was being unreasonable, but it was simply that he just didn't want his son around, and Simon would also much rather have been with his Grandad than spending the night with that 'Wicked Witch' Carla.

He's been kicking-out, scowling and generally behaving like a real little boy rebelling against his 'Evil Stepmother' this week. You can't blame him. Carla doesn't know 'which way is up' when it comes to children, and her trying to be nice to him only made things worse!

Ok, it's funny to watch, but when this happens in real life it's heartbreaking for the children, and Simon's playing his part SO well. "My mum's coming home soon; in't she Grandma?" he asked Deirdre, then shouted angrily, "I asked you a question!" when she didn't reply. Adults so often just ignore children's awkward questions, and he was justifiably cross with her.

Carla was surprised when Peter walked in with Simon (not half as surprised as I was to see her cooking), but put a brave face on. "We all get to have dinner together … yay," she cheered – unconvincingly!

"I don't like fish fingers, and I don't like you!" Simon replied and ran off to the bedroom. It's enough to drive a girl (and an alchoholic bookie), to drink!

It didn't get much better for Carla when she went into work. She and Michelle were cosying up outside the Factory,* and Carla was saying how happy she was, when (cue disaster), Hayley scuttled out and dropped the latest bombshell. It was a great opportunity for a cracking bit of banter and some one-liners!

"I'm Supervisor," Sally announced.

"I'M Supervisor," Hayley retorted indignantly.

"Well, you supervise all your machines being squashed up, and when ours arrive I'll supervise them filling in the gaps," Sally told her. Great stuff!

Eva's Birthday bash was funny too. The funniest part was her hair …

"Me and Gail have come as twins," Stella announced.

"Yeah. Little and Large," Karl laughed. Not funny – judging by those two pairs of 'rat eyes'. Gail's speech was funny. "Thank you very much for this beautiful spread," she slurred, before going on to tell Stella she'd bought her top before it had gone into the half-price sale!

It was a sad day for me on Friday though, as Rosie left. They're dropping like flies at the moment. First Becky, and now Rosie. It's a testament to the show that no matter how good (or popular), a character is, Corrie will just carry on without them, but to lose two BIG comic actresses within a couple of weeks makes me nervous.

One of Corrie's biggest strengths is its humour, and Rosie's been a writer's dream over the years. "Eileen. Calves are cows – not veals," was just one of her parting gifts for us. As I said last week: it took a huge amount of skill to play that part so convincingly, and she'll be very-much missed (by me, for one).

Our last-ever Rosie-isms (unless she comes back one day; please?), in my Grins of the week: *sniff*

Sunita: "What can I get you?"

Rosie: "Oh my God; so, you're like, 'A Barmaid' now? Oh, that's so sweet – at your age and everything."

Sally: "I might see if I can get a Vienetta for afters." (Wooh!)

Sylvia: "Excuse me. I was talking to you."

Roy. "I think that was 'at', not 'to'."

Carla (to Michelle): "I bet they can't breathe in there (the Factory) with all that gossip. There'll be no oxygen."

Roy: "You're singing."

Sylvia: "No flies on you."

PS "I'm going to have a word with Peter. He can't just dump Simon here," Tracy complained to Deirdre. Pot, kettle, or what? Deirdre's face!

PPS Has Rosie created a new phrase: "Dramality show"? I've never heard it before, but then I don't get out much.

PPPS Why do people always leave last thing at night? What time train would Rosie have been on to London, and what time must she have arrived? The middle of the night, surely? Who leaves home to start a new life in a new City (in a cab – and with hardly any bags), so late at night?

PPPPS We've had some good old-fashioned sayings this week. "You're not exactly a giddy kipper today," Hayley said, and "Think on and look sharp," Sylvia instructed Roy. My Yorkshire Grandma used to say both of those to me when I was a little girl. Aah.

PPPPPPS Do you reckon Nick looks a bit like Carl King's long-lost (rough-looking) brother?

PPPPPPPS So Stella and Karl have got the pub then? That happened quickly, and we haven't even had the usual 'Name going over the door' scene (unless I blinked and missed it?). How did they get a mortgage, then? They hardly seemed to be in a position to afford it …

* If someone looked at me the way Carla looks at Michelle, I'd be in Heaven! If you like the idea of Carla and Michelle together, you'll definitely like my novel, the chick-lit romance "Just Good Friends?" It's on Amazon/Kindle. SIMPLY CLICK HERE!

CLICK HERE TO GO TO THE CORONATION STREET HOMEPAGE

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Queen Vic Corner – 12th February 2012

Written on 11/02/2012 by Jane in Queen Vic Corner, Soap-y Corner, The Complete Blog

(You can hear me talking Soaps 11.30-12.00 am every Thurs & from 4.00-5.00 pm Fri on Swindon 105.5 FM) CLICK HERE TO LISTEN

After such a poor week last week, it was a relief to hit the ground running with a great Episode from Daran Little, on Monday.

"One minute you've got it, then you haven't, and you've no idea where it's gone," Cora reflected; Amy's worked it out early: "Life's rubbish and then you die," and we also had Laurel philosophising (about Mandy), "Must be hard. Men falling over you, then all of a sudden you hit 'her age' and no-one's interested any more."

Ok. Mandy did look like her own mother in that scene last week, but she's not that old. Isn't it funny how teenagers think you've had it once you're over 25? Just you wait a few years girls. Ha!

On this Valentine's week, how lovely to look back at Jack's beautiful words to Roxy on the morning after the night before: "We 'ad a few drinks and I fancied 'ya." And they say romance is dead!

There was powerful acting from both him and Roxy this week though, and I really felt for him. I had to say goodbye to the three little boys I adored and had lived with (as their nanny) for nine years, so I know exactly how he felt, although it didn't feel right for her to have to be in the middle of all those adults ranting and raving, and Jack having that 'one-to-one' with her.

She's three, and really didn't look comfortable in a lot of those scenes. She just looked stunned and confused through most of it. It's a lot for a little tot to cope with – big emotional scenes like that – and the last thing she needed was Jack sitting her down to "Explain it all to her properly."

Tiffany was so sweet to her in their scenes together. She's such a good little actress. I wonder if she'll end up staying in it (without a 'head change'), right through until she becomes a teenager, like Belle Dingle in Emmerdale?

Didn't you just want Jack and Roxy to 'kiss and make up' at the end though? They didn't, but how nice is Andrew to Heather? He's so protective over her; it's very sweet. "They'll be together till death do us part," Dot sighed wistfully. Ever noticed how seemingly-innocuous lines prove to be prophetic in Soaps? We all know they're destined to be parted before the ink's barely dry on the marriage certificate, so Dot's right!

How funny were Kim's scenes again this week? "I'm not really a big drinker," she told that poor sap she'd found online (that was quick work). "I ain't as easy as I look," she told Ray.

"No-one's as easy as that," he quipped, and got a slap for it, before she stomped-out, screaming!

Oh, they pulled out all the stops in the Appropriate/Inappropriate Music in the Background department this week, with some killer lines accompanying Jack and Roxy as they snuggled-up together on Monday, and a real heart-tugging instrumental which peaked and troughed in total synchrony with their words as they had their 'heart-to-heart' talk. That didn't happen by accident …

It's been so nice to see Bianca smiling (again), although I was a bit surprised by Jack's question: "How do you manage to stay so cheerful?" Bianca's only ever smiled about a dozen times in her life – and most of those have been in the last two weeks!

I've been smiling a lot more than normal this week too. There's been some nice, gentle humour (and then Kim!), for my Grins of the week:

Fats: "Do 'ya get me?"

Cora: "Not often, no."

Mandy: "We'll be there – and the Registrar."

Ian: "Yeah, and we'll have tumbleweed as a witness."

Kim: "Just so you know: I'm not the sort of girl who likes to … integrate on the first date."

Dot: "It's Heather's special day."

Ian: "It's our special day!"

Dot: "Yes, but you have had rather a lot of them; haven't you, Ian?"

Kim. "See 'er? I was mistaken for her the other day."

Denise: "Who by? Stevie Wonder?"

Lucy: "I know a mouse when I see one."

Mandy: "Yeah, and I know a rat when I smell one." Oops. Look out Lucy!

PS Loved how Ian made Mandy jump by pinching her as he had his arm round her. Was that in the script?

PPS Derek thinks he's the 'Don' of the Square, but Shirley's FAR more scary!

PPS "I spent the best part of a year in a women's prison. I think I know flirting when I see it," she told Tan? Ooh, do tell, B!

PPPS Would Kat and Alfie (and Shenice – who's meant to be in school), REALLY have upped-sticks and just walked out of their business for weeks on end (leaving it in the hands of someone they'd only met 5 minutes before), in 'real' life? (Again; not really credible, is it? Sorry.)

Feeling romantic? Why not try my novel "Just Good Friends?" It tells the story of close, married neighbours Ruth and Helen, whose close friendship turns into something a lot more! Just CLICK HERE to buy it on Amazon/Kindle (and thank you SO much if you do; I really appreciate it).

CLICK HERE TO GO TO THE EASTENDERS' HOMEPAGE

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And Finally … 12th February 2012

Written on 11/02/2012 by Jane in and Finally, The Complete Blog

(And Finally … The bit at the end that doesn't fit anywhere else!)

On the 21st October 2011, the Daily Mail published two articles that could have easily been Press Releases for my novel "Just Good Friends?" Here's both the links if you'd like to have a look.

WOMEN PREFER SPENDING TIME WITH THEIR FRIENDS and

MORE THAN HALF OF WOMEN ATTRACTED TO OTHER WOMEN

You can hear me talking Soaps on the Radio in Jane's Big Blog on Alastair Greener's Big Show: Thursdays 11.30-12.00; with Paul Dawkins for an hours 4.00-5.00 every Friday afternoon, then it's Jane's Soapy Slot (around 5.15 ish) on The Big Weekender this week as the brilliant Nick and Barry are back between 5.00-7.00 pm.

I'm an occasional co-host on Girls About Town: on Wednesdays 11.00-12.00 too; and it's all on Swindon 105.5 FM. CLICK HERE TO LISTEN

All done, but here's the 'small print' – which may be useful (!) for newcomers to this blog:

Same at night. I have to be sat there to do my Soap-watching (pen in hand) every night in order to be able to write my Soapy Corners. It all works well unless I have to go out; something happens, or I have a rough day and end up eating pasta and drinking red wine (it's hard to concentrate after that)!

That's a snapshot of my working week. Not much else happens to me, other than that!

Jim's website is www.a4magic.com, he's on Twitter @jim_montgomery, and you'll also find him on Facebook www.facebook.com/a4magic.

I cannot recommend him highly enough. Thank you Jim! (He also does Facebook pages and mobile websites – whatever that means!)

If you need a very reasonably-priced Accountant (who also plays the Saxophone – but not at the same time), mine's Swindon-based Len Morphew, and he's done a jolly good job for me.

CLICK HERE FOR LEN'S WEBSITE

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